Had an ultrasound as part of the Harmony test today & although the tech said she wasn't completely sure, she said she thought it was a girl. I know I should be happy to be having a healthy baby. But I'm so bitterly disappointed. I sobbed. I know there are a million wonderful things about having a girl & I love my friends' girls, I just REALLY & TRULY never ever wanted one myself. I love being the mom of boys (I have 2), and now...I'm miserable. Miserable to the point where I just don't even want it now. (Not that I won't have it, of course not.) I know I sound like a horrible, ungrateful, terrible human being. I know that. Please believe I'm not. Has anyone else gone through massive gender disappointment? How did you deal & get to the point to where you were more than just accepting but actually happy about it? Because, I WANT to be happy about a girl, but if I am honest with myself, I'm not right now. But I want to be. Advice?
Re: Gender disappointment
Fine. Forget it. Forget thinking there was somewhere I could be honest and not have it thrown in my face. Anyone who reads it, just forget it. Okay?
But seriously, this is one of the main reasons why I didn't want to find out the sex until the baby is born. I will be ecstatic when I meet my newborn no matter if it's a boy or a girl. I have two boys and would love to give them a little sister.
Either way, I will be happy.
You can't come onto a website/ forum like this and expect people to feel for you. You had some choice words that might strike a cord with some people. You can be honest, but don't get mad if people don't side with you. You opened that can of worms when you posted here.
As for how disappointed you are, I think it's a bit abnormal to be THAT upset regarding the sex of your child. Which, isn't even 100% confirmed. You might want to re-evaluate your situation and possibly look into counseling. I don't think this magnitude of disappointment is normal.
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TTC 10+ | Stage 4 Endometriosis
3 Laparscopy's
BFP - 06.15.2014
EDD - 02.16.2015
Long ago, I never could really see myself being the mom of a little girl but I have a 4 year old daughter. I'm a little rough and insensitive as is my husband. My daughter is total girly-girl and she is oh so sensitive. She makes us better people and I couldn't even imagine my life without her.
We didn't have gender disappointment, it took us awhile to get pregnant so we just wanted a healthy baby. Unless you are being overly dramatic, I agree with the other women and would suggest you seek counseling or look into another option such as adoption. I feel sad for that baby. I, also, wonder what your significant other/husband thinks of the situation.
DS 10/31/12
BFP 11/18/14
EDD 7/31/15
July15 Siggy Challenge: Favorite holiday movie. Bad Santa!
I can't even imagine. I am so sorry.
Nope. Just nope. /:)
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You don't say.
DS 10/31/12
BFP 11/18/14
EDD 7/31/15
July15 Siggy Challenge: Favorite holiday movie. Bad Santa!
God damn I can't even
I dealt with years of infertility and finally was successful through IVF. H and I are both so ecstatic to have a healthy, thriving baby due in December. We found out via Harmony test that we're having a girl. Both of us were just so happy to discover that the other Harmony results were fine, the sex of our baby was not an issue EVER. I can't imagine sobbing over such a thing.
We visited adoption agencies when trying to figure out what route we were going to take (IVF vs. adoption). I was even weirded out by people who had sex preference in adoption. It seemed like such a superfluous, almost frivolous concern when all we wanted was a baby. Period.
TTC since 11/2011 Me: Hypothyroid & PCOS DH: 0% morphology IVF #1 - transfer on 4/2/14 BFP 4/11/14 beta 161 EDD: 12/19/14 It's a GIRL! AnaSophia (Sophie; Soph the Loaf)
I'll admit to being a smidge disappointed when I found out I was having a girl. Not nearly as extreme as OP, more in a "Oh darn, I kinda wanted a boy" way. I got over it fast. Like, maybe a day or so. Today my daughter is 13 months old and truly the most amazing, adorable little person I know. I can't imagine what life would be like without her. And I feel like a total asshole for being even BRIEFLY, FLEETINGLY upset that she wasn't a boy.
But to be "bitterly disappointed"? "Sobbing"? Not wanting to keep the pregnancy because your baby won't pee the way you wanted her to? Honestly, it's hard to feel sorry for you when there are so many women who'd kill for just one healthy pregnancy. Ditto PP's suggestion of counseling, both for your sake and your daughter's.
ETA: spelling
Oh, have you been hanging out with my mother? OP, take it from someone whose mother made no secret of the fact that she never wanted a daughter, its really fucking shitty. Get some therapy before she gets here, for real.
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