I always said that after 35 I would not have any babies. Here I am...I'll be 37 in October.
I have daughter who is 3.5. She arrive the day before my 33rd birthday. (best gift ever!) We decided we were 1 and done.
I accidentally got pregnant last August (I was 35 and on the pill). After the initial shock I was very happy and thrilled to be a mom again. Unfortunately 6.5 weeks ago at 27 weeks we had to terminate the pregnancy as my son had multiple congenital heart defects with a terminal prognosis (REALLY late diagnosis). We are devastated.
Now I feel like we are incomplete as a family. I want to give the gift of companionship to my daughter because she was so excited to be a big sister. And I want to expand our family for other reasons... but I am not ready for a pregnancy yet- mentally and physically. But when I am ready: Do I want to be approaching my 40's with a newborn? Be 60 with a 20 year old? - Do I want to be on the cusp of retirement and have to deal with all of the shit that 20 year olds do? etc... these are the things I keep asking myself.
In your opinion- How old is too old?
Re: Do you have an Age cut off for having babies?
I would have been finished in my mid 20s since I had my first child young and thought I would be married forever. Instead I got divorced and choose not to date until my kids were older. I was remarried in 2012 and just had my third at 35 and I plan on one more at maybe 37 or 38. (My sons are 18 and almost 16.)
I thought long and hard about having kids again. It was odd at first since I did everything the first couple times young. To be honest I am loving it.
I look at my parents and they are almost 60. They are incredibly active and would not seem out of place with kids in their late teens or early 20s.
My parents were 36 and 40 when I was born, 40/44 when my youngest sister arrived. It is a personal decision and if we were still struggling to have our first my view might be different, but looking at my own parents I did not want to have children after 36.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
My Mom and Dad had 2u2 at 41 and 44 and managed just fine. My mom even took dance classes with my little sister and kept up. I don't have a cut off at all. I am following in their footstep since I am 36 and my H is 45.
DH: 45
BFP #1 3/19/14 EDD 11/29/14 MMC D&C 4/24/14
BFP #2 12/4/14 Beta #1 218 at 12dpo Beta #2 1055 at 16dpo
Saw heartbeat 12/29. Please be a rainbow.
All welcome
I just turned 33 a week ago and we are still trying for number 2. We had no idea it would be this hard to get our 2nd considering it happened so quickly with our first. With that said, we will probably give it 2 more years.
DH is 8 years older then me, so he just turned 41. In two years he will be 43 and I will be 35. I can't say for sure we would be done if at that point, but I have a feeling there are going to be some big conversations about where we are at that point of nothing has happened.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you must be going through. I don't think 40 is too old to have kids at all. Don't limit yourself in anyway.
Love: March 2010 Marriage: July 2013 Debt Free: October 2014 TTC: April 2015
Oscar born November 20, 2016 at 35w6d
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!
I think this is such a personal question. We started our family very unexpectedly and early so we want to be done by 30-35 so we can have some time just for us sooner rather than later.
I wish you the best of luck!
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Before we try again I am waiting for the genetics report to make sure there are no underlying issues that could cause potential problems with future children. I cannot go through this again.
Ideally, I would like to be no older than 55 when my last graduates high school. So that gives me 7 years to have 2-3 kids. Obviously this will change if there are issues.
I have seen so many great examples of parents older than 35 and 40 stay completely active and with it. I don't think age is so much a determinant of how well you will keep up with your children, but rather lifestyle and how active you stay.
DH and I are also awaiting DNA results to determine if he needs to be tested for my genetic disorder and I need to begin treatment for that disorder prior to TTC so I feel your pain on that front. So, so sorry for your loss.
~Santa Claus is Coming to Town~
Me: 31 DH: 29
DX (me): Inborn error of metabolism - protein restriction, metabolic formula & weekly blood tests
DNA Results (7/1): DH is NOT a carrier for my genetic disorder!
7/3: Metabolic clinic gave the green light to TTC - holy crap!
It's definitely a personal decision. Originally, when we first started TTC, I had planned on being done by the time I was 35. I was 28 when we started TTC, so I thought that this was very acheivable. Unfortunately we have been dealing with infertility. I will turn 32 this year and we are still TTC our first, so I may need to adjust my timeline a bit, since I would prefer to get our first out of diapers before we have our second.
I don't have a cutoff in mind anymore, but I imagine around 40 we would probably start that discussion.
TTC #1 since August 2011
My Blog
September 2012: Start IF testing
DH (32): SA is ok, slightly low morph, normal SCSA Me (32): Slightly low progesterone, hostile CM, carrier for CF, Moderately high NKC, High TNFa, heterozyogous mutated Factor XIII, and +APA
October 2012-May 2014: 4 failed IUIs, 3 failed IVFs, and 1 failed FETw/donor embryos
November 2014: IVF w/ICSI #4 Agonist/Antagonist with EPP and Prednisone, Baby Aspirin, Lovenox, and IVIG for immune issues. Converted to freeze all due to lining issues. 2 blasts frozen on day 6!
January 2015: FET #2 Cancelled due to lining issues
April 2015: FET #2.1
PAIF/SAIF Welcome!
The Pros:
My parents were active in everything I did, sports, academics, etc. I always felt supported.
Their appreciation of family and support systems was already developed, so I had a very close relationship with other family and friends.
Discipline was never because I said so, always thought out and with a purpose.
The Cons:
My dad's health (46 when I was born) deteriorated in my teen years. At 14 I watched him have a stroke, 16 waited while he had open heart surgery, etc. It's hard to be a caregiver that young.
Despite the health issues, I never once felt out of place, so to speak, for having older parents. We have a fantastic relationship.
I personally would like to be done by 30, but that's only because I want my kids close together (I want 4). I'm not opposed to going past that if we run into issues trying to have more. I haven't ever really thought of a cutoff age. I guess we will have to discuss that if we don't finish having kids by my timeline.
Eta. Forgot some words
Hoping to TTC later this year providing the genetics testing is clear. Although my son will never be replaced- I would really like to be a mom again.
I am late answering, but I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine.
I think as long as you feel emotionally ready, there's no reason to not try. My mom got re- married when I was 12 and had my half brother at 42. Her desire to have a child with her new husband outweighed any hesitation about being an older mom. Is it ideal? Probably not. But life is messy.
I am 34 and almost positively OAD, but might consider another should my circumstances change. At that point I would be most likely be over 35.
Good Luck to you.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
Edit for clarity. My brain is faster than my fingers.
Ps, so sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss.
I am 36 and pregnant with #2, I will be 37 two months after the baby is born. I was 33 for #1. I said that 37 was my cutoff for getting pregnant. For #2, we knew that we would try until I turned 37 and if it didn't happen by then, we would be OAD. I don't have the easiest pregnancies and I didn't relish the idea of being pregnant in my later 30s.
I truly enjoy being a younger mom. Now I will get to experience what it's like to be a "regular" age mom, lol. To each his own, I guess.
DD: 10 (born August 2004)
Married 03/01/14
TTC#2
BFP: 05/17/2014 EDD: 1/25/15 MMC: 06/30/2014
I'm going to add to the conversation that I had an age cut off for when to START having babies not stop, ha. I wanted my twenties to myself and no kids until 30. I also wanted at least 5yrs of a strong solid marriage before we added a child. I had my 1st at 30, my 2nd at 33. I had been TTC#3 for a year when I got pg last year but then I lost that pregnancy in January. At this rate I will likely be 38 for a third but I'm ok with that. I don't have a cut off at all, playing that by ear.
*** BFP #3 - angel baby at 8w2d - D&C 1.31.14 ***
*** BFP #4 - Chloe Grace, the 'C' to complete our 'A & B' - born Feb 25th, 2015 at 22w2d, lived for 2.5hrs ***
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I don't have a strict cut-off, but I hope to be done having babies by 35. I have pcos so that adds some difficulty for me getting and staying pregnant, so if it takes longer to complete our family, so be it.
DD2: Lucia (Lucy) 07/13
Surprise BFP# 5 - 9/2/16 - Due 5/13/17
It's 39 or 40 for me. I'm a healthy weight, I work out, eat well. Had a great pregnancy with ds. I'm not concerned at all.