Hi all,
I have been married 2 blissfully wonderful years. Please don't think I'm naive, my husband and I have fights and petty arguments and still disagree over how to load the dishwasher like every other married couple, but seriously, I could not have married a better man.
I got married very young - I was 22. I'd already finished college and lived on my own (paying my own bills, etc, truly on my own) for a year so I felt ready. While some people still like to remind me that I was still a baby when I got married (whatever) I have no regrets. I'm now 24 (still young, I know) and loving married life. But...I'm starting to get baby fever. DH thinks we should wait longer. He says we're having so much fun just the two of us and lets prolong that longer. No turning back after baby! My brain says he's absolutely right, I'm still so young and have plenty of time...but then BOOM the baby fever grips my heart!
I say all this about my being so young to give some perspective. I know I have plenty of time and should probably want to wait longer. I will admit to having every other friend getting pregnant left and right. It's really not a jealousy thing. It's an AWWWWWWWWWWWWW my ovaries are exploding!!!! kind of thing
Please tell me if I'm crazy or if 2 years or even 3 is a normal amount of time to wait to have kids or something!
For those logical folks out there: We have zero debt (only a house payment - no car payments, student loans, debt, etc). Hubs has a fantastic job, we have a house, great support from family and friends, etc. I feel like we're ready. But again, 'feel' isn't the best indication, I know
Someone please put my head on straight!!!!
Re: Too early/young for Baby fever?
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Edit: spelling
This is only a question you and your DH can answer.
For me, personally, I wouldn't pay to have a baby in my 20's. I'm 30 and won't start TTC until I turn 31. I loved the fact that I have had so much of my adult life to do whatever the hell I want and party it up, but that's just me. I also live in an area where many of my friends and peers didn't marry until their late 20s and several still aren't married yet. Most don't have children or are just starting to in their very late 20's, but mostly early 30s.
Again, it's a very personal decision and only you can make it, but it certainly requires both you and your DH. For me though, he's right...you probably won't regret delaying a baby, but you may regret not having a year or two of extra couple time. Just something to consider!
Edited because I can't spell.
~Santa Claus is Coming to Town~
Me: 31 DH: 29
DX (me): Inborn error of metabolism - protein restriction, metabolic formula & weekly blood tests
DNA Results (7/1): DH is NOT a carrier for my genetic disorder!
7/3: Metabolic clinic gave the green light to TTC - holy crap!
PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole
I just turned 24, been happily married, and we are considering TTC soon-ish. I want kids, but I also struggle with when is the "right" time...should we travel more, have more time together? Or get on it? lol. I only know I want to be done by the age of 30 only because I would rather have kids young.
I know some people who had kids young wish they had waited or become more secure...but 24 really isn't that young imo. At the same time I have also been advised that there is no "good" time to have kids, and if you put it off until X, then it becomes needing to accomplish Y, and before you know if years have passed. So ultimately, for you and me, it is between us and our spouses and what works for our goals and position in life.
Like many of the PP's have said, I think once you're both ready, it will be time. But if you're worried about justifying to anyone else, you have to be happy as a couple. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
I mean, this is so personal.
For me-- I was a hot mess at 24. Also, I live somewhere that it's the norm to marry later and have kids later in life. I have only one friend that had a baby in her 20s-- she was 29. So to me, 24 sounds really young to have a baby.
But there are plenty of people that DO have their shit together much, much earlier and a baby is the next logical step.
You really have to discuss this with your H.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
I would NEVER force or trick DH into this. EVER. No offense to anyone, but I think tricking your husband and either going off the pill or whatever without telling him and without his support is just stupid. I don't want to try for kids until HE wants to try for kids too. This is definitely a both person decision.
Someone mentioned a great point: spend lots of time with kids of all ages, babysitting, etc. This is almost what makes me think I'm ready actually because I spent all of middle school and high school babysitting, I was a full time nanny at one point, I volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center and I work for my church in the children's department. Now instead of coming home going 'whew, so glad it's just the two of us!' or coming back from a playdate with my ADORABLE bundle of energy nephew saying "I love him but OH MAN do I need a break" I find myself wanting to go back, I want that for us now. My attitude towards all that is going from "glad I'm done" to "I want more!"
But really, I'm encouraged to hear fellow young wives that think these feelings are totally normal. I agree: When DH is ready, I'm ready. I just kind of wish he'd be ready sooner
October siggy challenge: Villains
I'm 23 almost 24 and DH and I have been married for almost 2 years. We always knew we'd want the first 2 years of our marriage to be just "us". Now, that we are creeping up on our 2 year anniversary I have baby fever bad!! H would still like for us to wait a few more months before TTC, so that's currently our plan.
I always wanted to have kids young and where I'm from it's normal for most women to have their first before they turn 25. I think that if your H isn't quite ready, you should wait a little longer. But it's definitely a personal choice.
Friends for 17 years. Married 10. TTC since Jan 2009.
2013: IVF#3/FET#4 Elisabeth CJ born April 30, 2014
Cerclage, P17, and 3 months of bed rest brought us our Rainbow.
Dum spiro, spero.
BFP #1 12/02/11, M/C 12/08/11
BFP #2 04/06/12, DD born 12/20/12
BFP #3 06/09/14, M/C 06/15/14
Loved having those years to sleep in , eat out, go on vacations, etc. (also had to finish school, pass the bar etc)
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I was 22 when I got pregnant, 23 when my DD was born. I think you need to have a serious talk with your husband about when he would ideally like to start trying. I think you're at a point in your life where you know what you want and can bring a child into a stable environment. Good luck to you!
DD: 10 (born August 2004)
Married 03/01/14
TTC#2
BFP: 05/17/2014 EDD: 1/25/15 MMC: 06/30/2014
I dont think 24 is too young at all. My H and I waited until I was 27 to start TTC and I am now 6 months along and will be 28 when I deliver. In reality, I wish we would have started earlier. I have many friends in late 20's and early 30's that are having such a difficult time TTC and it terrifies me. I always wanted 3 children but I worry about having kids in my 30's. I know that many people have no problems and I don't think that it is 'too' old- I just worry as so many close to me have had issues...and gone into debt because they were TTC.
We also had a checklist to get ourselves together and I think when it comes down to it, no one is ever 100% ready. There will always be something that needs to be worked on.
It really is a personal choice- talk to your hubby and see why he is hesitant...and then go from there!
In the interim, have fun practising!
I can relate, I got married at 21 and by the time I'm due I will be 24. I have always wanted to have kids young (before I'm 25 at least) but I waited until MH was ready & gave the green light. Something went off in his head on his 25th birthday & he decided he was ready to start trying. My advice would be to wait till he's ready. You don't want to push him too much.
Mom to Carter (6), and Calianne (1).
Proud VBAC, natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering momma!