Hello! I'm a long time Bump member but haven't been very active in a while but I am really needing some help now.
DH is in the National Guard and has been since high school. I knew he was in the military when we got married but NG is a LOT different from Active as far as the lifestyle goes. Well, DH has found out that there are some ADOS positions open and he wants to apply. I am a SAHM so having a single income makes things difficult and this will certainly help financially. However, the jobs are all about 200 miles away from where we live now, which is also where I have lived my whole life. This place is my home and moving so far away has never occurred to me, it wasn't really something I had to worry about as a NG wife. Anyways, since I am not accustomed to anything about the Active life, I really have NO IDEA what to expect if he ends up getting orders for one of these positions. So, what I'm asking is how does the whole PCS process work? I know that's probably a fairly long question but I honestly don't know anything about it. I'm worried about how we're going to find an apartment in a short period of time, what happens if we can't get in anywhere right away, how are we going to afford to move and make a deposit and everything else financially involved in relocating, how do we move that far with a toddler. I'm basically freaking out, lol. Also, when his NG contract is up in 3 years, he's hoping to re-enlist as Active Duty so this is probably something that I should learn about so when and if he does go Active and gets orders for a place even more than 200 miles away, I know what I'm doing. Lastly, I'm very close with my family and have always been geographically close to them as well. The farthest I've been was about 250 miles in college and I absolutely hated it (so much so I almost took a semester off to move back home and apply to a closer school) so I'm kind of worried about moving so far from home (both now and later if he goes Active). How do you handle having to move so far away from home? Again, a bit of a long question but it worries me that it will be really hard on me and I'll just be miserable the whole time. TIA for any advice you can offer.
Re: PCS help - a little long
When we PCS, we have the option to use military movers and a packing company, or we can do it ourselves and we would then be reimbursed for our expenses on a sliding scale. Personally, I just let people do it for me. Technically what we do is a partial-DITY because we do move some clothes, plants, and our pet stuff and valuables ourselves, but most of it is packed by the packing company and moved by the moving company. Some people have good experiences, some have bad, but that's what I prefer to do. We've had good experiences with it so far. I don't know if this would be an option available to you.
Right now we live on base, but when we didn't, we used part of H's BAH and saved some money to use for moving related expenses (deposits and such). If you're moving near a base, the housing office may have information on different rental homes and apartments in the area. I spent a lot of time online researching apartments. I made detailed lists of what I liked about each place. Then H was able to scout them out for a few days and picked one and I joined him. If you're able to take a couple of days to go scout the area, that's always good.
I haven't moved with a toddler, but I would say try to break the trip up with a lot of breaks. This is also where it might come in handy to use or hire packers and movers to help you out.
The moving away from home thing: Especially considering what you've said, I can see how it would be rough for you. For me, I spent most of my college years a good 700 miles away from family and was fine with it. My mom moved to Utah not long after I finished college, so I'm away from her even when I'm in my hometown. I never expected to live near family all the time. Right now we're a little 600 miles from most of my family. The homesickness for me didn't start until a few months ago, and most of that is based on some family health issues that make it very hard for me to be away. You're dealing with a slightly shorter distance, so that also might help.
How I deal: Either with H or by myself I try to visit about 4-5 times a year. I try to coordinate with my mom on when she's going to be back as well. Generally we plan to go for about a week at a time to make the drive worth it. Also, we have a savings account that always contains enough for a last minute plane ticket. It's the just in case fund. So that if something, God forbid, happens, we can get there and not have to worry about driving.
I talk to my mom, dad, and grandmother at least twice a week apiece. Lots of phone time and texts and Skype and Facetime. It really does help. It's great to be living in a time where we're so much more able to be connected.
Also, what we do try to make sure is that we're building our family of us. Where we live is home. It's our home. I try to get unpacked and decorated as soon as I can after a move because it helps it all feel more real. It is what you make it. If your H going active is the best thing for your family, you can make it work.
Me-31, H-27
**Loss 1-Cycle 7(June 2013) at 5w6d-CP**Loss 2-Cycle 11(October 2013) at 5w4d-CP**
**Loss 3-Cycle 14 (January-February 2014)-M/C dx 2/10, EP dx 2/24, MTX 2/25**
Beta Hell--hCG finally down to 0 - 6/20/14
SA normal. Genetic testing normal. Hormonal testing normal.
HSG 6/30/14 - found blocked left tube and 2 'bubbles' on uterine wall.
Hysteroscopy/Lap--8/4/14 - Tubes unblocked. Polyps removed from uterine wall. Septum removed.
9/30/14--Off the bench! Unmedicated TI through December 2014
BFP 12/14/14!!! Beta #1, 12/16: 990 Beta #2, 12/18: Over 2000! Beta #3, 12/22: over 8000!
U/S #1, 12/23: gestational sac, possible heartbeat
U/S #2, 12/30: HEARTBEAT! 128bpm, measuring right on at 7w EDD: 8/19/2015
U/S #3, 1/9: BPM in the 180s, IT'S HAPPENING!!!