Mobile Users: Sex: Who's not having it?
So I'm 8 weeks post partum. As far as I know, everything's healed up, the doctor said things looked "pretty good" and cleared me for sex.
But I just don't feel like having sex. I'm exhausted and I'm a little touched out from the breastfeeding. DH tried to initiate last night and I just said I was really tired. I don't want him anywhere near the boobs right now- is that a normal feeling when you are breastfeeding? All I could think was- it's 1130 at night, we just go the baby down and she's gonna be up by 330. I want that full 4 hours of sleep!
How are you gals combating exhaustion and stuff so that you can resume a sex life again? DH has been really patient, but I know he misses it.
Re: Sex: Who's not having it?
This exactly!
I'm 7 weeks PP tomorrow, and even though I got the all clear last week, I still have no desire. And I'm in the middle of a course of antibiotics for mastitis, so there's no way in helll he's touching my boobs. Not to mention that my vag still doesn't feel totally healed.
The last time we DTD was the night before my induction, in a last ditch effort to go into labor on my own. It didnt work.
As for the BFing, I definitely feel like it takes it's toll on the sex life. My boobs are no longer fun bags, they are my baby's food supply. It's hard to switch between the two. It happened when i had my daughter as well. Not to mention the spraying that happens, I don't even take my bra off when we DTD. At this point, I'm only doing it out of love for DH.
TTC #2:
March - May 2014 - Natural cycles - no luck
June 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
July 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
August 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
September 2014 - Clomid 50mg - Fingers crossed...
I'm not!
I actually feel like I want to, but my problem is I'm too scared still! At my 6 week pp appointment, my OB said several times "It's really really going to hurt".....
During the day and evening would be a good idea on the weekends when DH is home from work- the only problem is that we have a 5 year old, so leaving her to fend for herself while we run off to the bedroom just isn't going to happen!! Also DD2 has a "witching hour" from like 8-9, which happens to occur right after we get DD1 down for the night.
Well, at the very least, you'll feel great about yourself!!
Holy crap! If my OB told me I'd likely have more tearing, I don't think I'd EVER be able to DTD!! Ouch! Good luck!
Ha! At least he's getting BJ's! My poor DH hasn't even gotten that! I literally do not feeling like doing ANYTHING.
That's a good question, and I'm not really sure! I imagine that would give our bodies a little bit more time to recover from the tears/episiotomies etc.
O14 January Signature Challenge: Snow Fails
So true!!
I am 11 weeks pp and we tried twice and didn't get very far. As my Dr put it, it feels like sandpaper on the inside.
Me (32) DH (34) | |
BFP #1 4/5/12 | Natural m/c on 4/18/12 (6w1d)
BFP #2 8/23/12 | DS born 5/3/13
BFP #3 12/6/15 | DD born 8/23/16
BFP #4 2/22/19 | EDD 10/28/19
I guess now I can tell him how lucky he is!
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You arent alone, I feel the same way! After I got the all clear I made a nice dinner, picked up a bottle of wine, some sexy pantes & bra and a box of condoms..... got turned down. We also hadnt had sex since I was 2 mos prego, due to high risk issues. He blamed the fact that he hates condoms. LO is almost 9 wks old, we have dtd once.....We will see what happens once I get an IUD. The feeling of not being wanted sucks.. but having that conversation with him seemed to help a little.
I agree with this. Trust me I am not in the mood either but it's true, give them a few minutes of your time and then everyone is happy! It's good to have some alone time and reconnect too. It does hurt but gets easier every time. We try to sneak time together when both are napping rather than end of the day when I am exhausted and looking forward to couch time and bed!
BFP 5/21/10, Missed m/c 7/5/10 at 11w3d (baby measured 7wks), D&C 7/7/10
Aug/Sept 2010 - CD3&10 b/w & u/s, genetic testing, SA, HSG, & Lap/Hyst to remove septum
12/09/10 BFP -- 7/05/11 DS born at 33w5d. Came home after 23d in NICU at 37w0d
June 2012 - TTC #2! -- 10/05/12 BFP -- 5/23/13 DS2 born at 37w1d! Yay full term!
Surprise BFP 6/25/14 LO#3 due Feb2015!
This.
DH and I have had sex a few times, though I haven't been into it at all. I just do it for him. I cater to the needs of DS 24/7 (which I'm not complaining!), so when DH wants sex, it just feels like more needs to cater to. It becomes exhausting, and frankly, I'm burnt out.
I'm really hoping these feeling are temporary. Maybe we need a romantic getaway (one night) in the near future to spice things up a bit.
EDD 07/29/2017
Good points.
EDD 07/29/2017
Maybe part of it is really him being tired/exhausted. Maybe you and the baby being in another room will help, both by giving him more rest, and absence sometimes makes you want something more. My husband and I have been in separate bedrooms most of the time since January. He's a smoker and pretty much kicked me out of our bedroom because I didn't want to be around cig smoke and he smoked in the bedroom. It really hurt my feelings that he put his addiction ahead of me and didn't want to sleep together. We've since moved to a new house which he doesn't smoke in, but I've been sleeping in the nursery with LO. I say it is so that she doesn't wake him up, but part of it is because I don't feel like he really wants me there. I didn't let anyone know that we were sleeping in separate bedrooms for most of my pregnancy. He told me early in my pregnancy that he didn't think there was anything attractive about a pregnant woman, which of course didn't help my self esteem with my changing/growing body. I decided not to pressure him and let him take the initiative for when he wanted me again. Last week he joined me in the shower and it was the first time we DTD in a long time (which actually worked well because we didn't have to worry about leaky boobs). A new baby is a lot of change for everyone. I know in time things will get back to normal. Hang in there. Your post is a good example of why we need to take the time to meet our spouse's needs even if we're exhausted.
4 losses: Natural m/c 8w 1/11, CP 12/11, CP 3/12, and our perfectly healthy baby girl Charlotte Grace, missed M/C 5/31/12 at 8w5d
TTC#2 5/14, BFP 8/15/14! Beta #1 16 (11 DPO), Beta #2 71 (14 DPO) Beta #3 164 (16 DPO) Beta #4 633 (21 DPO) Beta #5 1487 (23 DPO) Heartbeat 121 bpm at 6w6d! EDD 4/25/15
The Daily Nugget
Cycle 12, IUI #1 - 33m post wash 10/15/10 = BFN
Cycle 13, IUI #2 - 15m post wash 11/16/10 = BFP, missed m/c, D&C 1/3/11
Cycle 15 - 18, IUI #3-6 = BFN
Cycle 20, IUI #7 = BFP!, missed m/c 9/14, D&C
DE-IVF Aug. 2012: ER 8/30 11R, 7M, 4F; ET 9/4 returned 2
Beta 9/18 #1-820, #2-1699, #3-7124
10/1 1st u/s measuring right on track, 125 bpm
This. Sad face.
I wouldn't say that it really, really hurt, but that it was very uncomfortable. DH have only done the deed twice since LO has arrived. The first time we had to stop, but 2nd time wasn't as bad.
Mom to Benjamin 6/2011 and Lena 5/2013; baby 3 on the way