I am throwing a baby shower for my sister in a few months and she has expressed interest in an idea she got from Pintrest where each guest is assigned a letter of the alphabet and is asked to bring that letter as a gift with a note to the baby written on the back in order to create a special alphabet wall in the baby's nursery. The idea is that you get all sorts of different letters on various sizes and styles that end up looking (hopefully) something like this:
However, my sister is pretty picky and wants me to somehow convey that she doesn't want arts & crafty stuff like this:
But wants eclectic/rustic/modern letters like in the first picture.
As a host, I am completely at a loss on how to convey a message like this or if there even is any appropriate way to do so. I feel like she is being too picky and if she wants others to pick out her alphabet, then she needs to be OK with whatever they pick and, of she doesn't like a letter, then she can choose not to use it. But I also really want to please her on her big day and make this shower everything she is hoping for.
Is there anyway to express her desires to guests without being tacky? Thanks!
Re: Letter theme for shower
Um, yeah. Good luck w/ that.
if she's THIS picky, she needs to go buy the letters herself then as the guests show up, hand them out and ask the guests to write a note to the baby.~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I usually just lurk here, but I can't think of a good way to express that to guests.
Is there a way that you could find the letters and have them available for people to decorate at the shower? That way she gets her letters, but you don't have to tell people what to bring.
This ^^^
There is no non-tacky way of conveying the message. Either nix the letter idea all together or she supplies them.
This all the way. Don't make people go on a scavenger hunt for the right kind of wood letter. Just have them at the shower and ppl can write on them.
Perhaps you could purchase the letters and have them out for people to decorate at the party, if they choose.
This...I hate the book as a card too because it requires me to buy something extra which I don't like, and I'd really be pissed if I had to make a special trip to hobby lobby for a letter. Most ppl won't participate I bet and you'll wind up with 6 letters of the alphabet I'm guessing.
This. I was once asked to decorate/stitch a quilt square for a baby shower and I was PISSED. I do not know how to stitch, it took me an extra trip out for supplies, and then hours to figure out how to make it look halfway decent. I wouldn't want to put guests through agony worrying over whether their letter fits the requirements and doesn't suck. What if your SIL doesn't like the way a certain letter turns out, will she just make her own? What will the person who made that letter think when they come over and their's mysteriously isn't there. If it just HAS to be done, I like the idea of it being an optional shower activity, like while MTB is opening the gifts. Otherwise, no go.
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Listen, this idea is ridiculous. I know you love your sister, but she is being a bit obtuse here. Your guests are already taking time out of their day to come and honor your sister, celebrate with her; buy, wrap and give her a gift. Please don't give them a homework assignment on top of that. I promise you, it will not go over well. A bunch of people will be conveniently busy at that time.
If you sister wants something like that Pinterst picture, she will simply have to make it herself.
Maybe you two can get together and do the letters? Or it can be your gift to her if you're crafty?
I think the abc wall is cute in theory, but can you imagine hanging 26 letters like that? We hung 5 letters and I almost had an ocd meltdown.
I'd tell her she needs to go buy her own letters and to stop trying to hit up friends and family for stuff that she wants.
And no, there's no way to do this without being tacky. A guest at a party should never be told what to bring...EVER. A letter may only cost $5, but maybe that $5 is really important someone. They're already taking time out of their lives to come watch her open gifts. They're already spending money on her to provide her with a gift. Now she wants them to spend additional money so that she doesn't have to. Entitlement these days is seriously unbelievable.
I agree. When I was single and not making much money I was invited to a shower that requested books instead of cards. I was counting every penny at that point in my life. It meant that I was not able to bring the gift I wanted to get because I had to now spend money on a book. It made the shower uncomfortable for me because my book looked cheap and my present was not as special as I had planned.
It is not just the money. It is also the time. I do not work, but all three kids are at home for the summer. The last thing I want to do is go shopping for just the right letter with three kids in tow. It would be torture.
Best idea! I wouldn't require people to bring the letters, and I wouldn't do crafts at the shower (even if optional). A lot of people hate crafts, so you'll probably have low participation. She'll end up doing most herself anyway.
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Agree with all of the previous posters, and want to add: I've been looking for letters that look like your first photo so I could spell out baby's name for the wall in the nursery. I've been to Michael's, JoAnn, Hobby Lobby, even Paper Source, and have yet to find a font I actually like. (Paper Source came the closest, the font was great but the letters were dimensional, like 2" thick, and made of paper mache, not wood or particle board). I've found letters that look like the second picture in your post (the "Curlz MT" font, barf) but nothing that is clean and classic like your sister actually wants. Even if you proceed with this (awful) idea (Damn you, Pinterest!) she's going to get about 18-24 letters in the font she absolutely does not want, because I can tell you that's really all that's out there at the moment. Best to go on Etsy and find a seller with a pre-made alphabet, finished or unfinished, and not ask anyone to buy them.
I hate all that craft/decorating stuff with a passion! My mother decorated DD's room and MIL decorated DS's, that's how much I can't stand it! So I would not be doing this.
There is no polite way to pull this off, unless you set out letters and let people who want to participate do so.
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Totally off topic although I've been enjoying this post very much, but did you look at the ones on Amazon? Random place to find them I know. Search for "wood letters." I bought the white KidsLine ones and I love them.
And OP, seriously explain to her that her guests are not going to produce letters like that photo even if it wasn't a horrible idea to ask them to try. Maybe some of the craft minded women in your family can get together to help her.
I solved your problem for you. Have a regular shower for her, ignore the letters. As a gift, order her these. They come unfinished, so she can paint them in colors that match her nursery (or you can if you are super thoughtful) but they still have the mismatched look to them like the pinterest picture.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/103260675/wooden-alphabet-letters-unfinished-wood?ref=sr_gallery_5&ga_search_type=all&ga_includes%5B0%5D=tags&ga_page=1&ga_search_query=wooden+alphabet+letters&ga_view_type=gallery
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I totally posted and ran and here I am, days later reading the replies. Whoops!
Thank for the honesty. I'm totally with y'all that it is tacky and rude to request this of her guests. And, as much as I love my sister, she has been known to have a sense of entitlement.
In fact, for her wedding shower it was a "date night and adventure theme" and we found great invitations on etsy that let guests know what to do, but it was still a major stretch and did not turn out as she hoped, which I KNEW would happen. Everyone pretty much got her movie passes and restaurant gift cards and she was hoping for zip lining, museum passes, murder mystery dinners, cooking classes, etc. Her close friends and family thought outside the box, but that is just too much to ask of people sometimes. She actually wanted me to put "please, no movie passes or restaurant gift cards" on the invite but I flat out refused.
Well it seems that this is just another time to stand up to her and say this idea doesn't have bones.
1. People will take one look at the invite and decline altogether ( this will be the most common thing to happen).
2. Those that do come will subtract the cost of the letter from whatever they were planning on spending.
3. I promise it will not look anything like how she wants.
It will be a colossal waste of time and money on top of the fact that her guests will feel put upon.
Sorry your sister is so self absorbed that she thinks that people are just chomping at the bit to do stuff for her. I know you love her, but man that is tough.