My MIL, who lives three hours from us, graciously offered to host my baby shower. It is scheduled for June 22nd and was to include both sets of families and friends.
The problem is I am having complications (high BP, contractions, being tested for pre-e) and my doctor told me this week that I should not travel. My MIL still wants to have the shower - my family isn't planning to make the drive now since I won't be there (it's an almost four hour drive for them) so now the guest list includes about 15 of my MIL's friends, all people I have never met, along with DH's grandmothers and sister.
I feel like the whole thing should just be cancelled, but my MIL is set on having it. Is that tacky? I did request that as people RSVP she let them know that I will not be there. Part of me thinks that since she planned it all and it's going to be just her friends and some of DH's family there I should just let it go, but I can't get over feeling awkward about it all. Thoughts?
Re: Etiquette Question - Can't Attend My Shower
The shower is about 1 and a half hours from my house and is all mil's friends. It is important to her.
So she decided she would host the shower after the baby was born. He will be about 1 or 2 months old. I think it will actually work out better.
That might be a good option for you. Plus then grandma can show off the baby, which is mor interesting than a pregnant dil!
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
Expecting Baby Bean February 2017
This is what I would do
Our precious girl, born at 27 weeks.
This is a good idea! Is she a new grandmother? I know its pretty common for mother or MIL friends to want to do something special for a new grandmother. Its "your" shower, but is also something for her. I know my MIL made a comment about her friends not hosting a shower and that they must be busy (even though the shower would have technically been for me).
This is exactly what I was thinking
Another vote for send your DH instead since they should all be familiar people to him anyway.
Sorry you'll miss your shower.
Just my two cents: If I was in your position, I wouldn't want DH away from me. You have limited time left together where it is just you two, and it is a good idea to have someone with you, given your health concerns. If DH does go, make sure you have a friend around just in case; not that there is any reason to worry, but it might even make DH feel better about going. If MIL is willing to wait, a "meet the baby" shower would be fun. Typically in our family, we wait until the baby is born before having a shower. Mine will be before largely because of the timing of our due date.
I do hope that regardless of what happens, you are being kind to yourself. You are absolutely doing the right thing by looking out for your baby and you, and anyone who supports you will understand this. I think it is so easy to get caught up in trying to keep everyone happy; in this instance you are 100% making the right decision by declining to travel. I am sure that even the excitement of a first time grandmother will acknowledge this!!! Be well, and best of luck!