My husband's family is of a different culture and they strongly believe that it is bad luck to for the parent's to be to purchase anything for the baby before baby arrives. They believe that it is perfectly fine to receive gifts but my DH and I just can't buy anything ourselves. I know this is quite different than the norm here in the US.
I admit I was really disappointed when I found this out. I wanted to plan and organize and have everything ready to go before LO gets here but I'm trying not to stress too much about it. DH has been great about it and told me he would go to the store with a checklist while I'm in the hospital if he needs to and he will have everything put together before LO and I come home.
I was wondering, is anyone else doing the same thing and waiting to get anything for the baby? If so, how are you coping?
Re: Not buying anything until after baby arrives
Is this what YOU believe, too? Would they know if you bought stuff and just didn't talk about it?
Seems like a lot of stress for someone else's beliefs...
I don't neccesarily believe it myself but my husband does and it's important to him and I want to respect his family's wishes. My husband is a smidge put off by it too but he also doesn't want to risk bringing bad luck to the baby or the labor and delivery.
is this important to your husband? I know I personally wouldn't be ok with that rule unless it was actually important to him, not just his family.
that seems stressful.
I've read that frequently on these boards.
We buy before the baby comes, but we don't buy a lot.
Eh, technically my husband's family is the same way, but my philosophy is that THEY are free to not buy anything until the baby is born. My husband certainly doesn't subscribe to this idea, and I am not okay with it.
If it is important to your husband, I think you're doing the right thing by going along with it. Are there any big items (like crib) that you're really stressed about getting ahead of time? If so, I might give some money to my parents to help them gift that item to you.
In all honesty, though, the baby won't need a ton of stuff right after birth anyway, so I wouldn't stress too much. Obviously you MUST have the car seat, something for them to sleep in, some onesies, diapers, etc... but everything else can wait until you and/or DH can get to the store after the first week or so.
I think there is no reason to get anything before the baby is born if your DH wants to honor his family's wishes then it can be done without too much stress.
If I were you I would get a gift registry (or two) going and put everything on it you need (including baby wash and diapers etc), then your DH doesn't have to be long, he can go get everything on the list without having to think about what you need and be back as quickly as possible.
As for needing stuff as soon as you get home, if you have a bassinette and a car seat on your registry, there is not too much set up, this is all you really need straight away, that would need any assembly, I am sure you will get clothes as gifts anyway, so maybe you could ask people to give you newborn clothes just so you can wash them and get them ready (although your husbands family may already think of that if this is their tradition anyway)?
HTH, at the end of the day babies are born early all the time to parents who haven't bought anything, just remember the shops don't shut when you have a baby and friends and family can always go and pick up anything you might need.
Ohh another thought is that you could buy gift certificates for the stores you have registered with then another family member could go get the stuff on your registry if you wanted your DH to stay with you..just and idea?
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I am a big planner so it would be difficult for me.Plus I just love buying baby stuff!
However like PP said you do not need that much when the baby is newborn.
Car seat for sure- the hospital wont even let you leave without one. Some where for the baby to sleep, clothes and diapers.
Not to mention that I know I'm really specific about the large items I want, specifically car seat. What if he goes to buy them once the baby is born and they are out of stock? That is a very common occurance and in a normal situation, no big deal, you can order it online. But if you need it right away you'd have to settle for something you might not be as comfortable putting your baby in.
Waiting for small stuff, sure. Big stuff? Too much of a gamble, in my opinion.
I would want the car seat installed and checked by a certified tech before you go to the hospital. If no one buys it for you, could you ask someone to get it and pay them back? Or would that be too weird? Otherwise, I wouldn't worry too much about anything else. You probably wouldn't want DH gone from the hospital long enough to go on a shopping spree and putting together furniture, but he could grab a pack n play, diapers, and some clothes if you don't get all those as gifts.
I'm Jewish so we're not supposed to put together the nursery or really do anything for the baby (no shower, etc). BUT we are going to register. We'll probably have the stuff delivered to my ILs or something if people buy stuff before the baby is born, but we don't actually get anything for the baby until after it's born.
Thankfully we're getting a bunch of stuff from friends who have had kids in the past few years, so we know that we have the bassinet, car seat etc that we will need right away. We're just not keeping anything at our house until the baby arrives.
Our little lightbulb is on the way!
12 weeks 3 days
TTC since Oct 2011
Me: 33, hypothyroidism since 14, cleared all HSG, US, Pre-pregnancy panel tests.
Hubby: 36, testicular Ca, chemo April-May 2012.
Natural cycle IUI #1 with trigger and Progesterone Suppositories (Jun 2012) Neg
Natural Cycle IUI #2 with trigger and Progesterone Suppositories (Jul 2012) NEG
Aug 2012 - break due to needing a girls' weekend in Cape Cod
Natural Cycle IUI #3 with trigger and prednisone (Sep 2012) NEGATIVE
Switched fertility clinics - forced break Oct 2012
Natural Cycle IUI #4 (Nov 2012) no trigger, no progesterone, no prednisone (Nov 2012) - Neg
1st round Clomid Cycle IUI #5 (Dec 2012) - POS