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Pregnant after 35
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I really need your advice

amk1214amk1214
in Pregnant after 35
Hi.  I am almost 38, and I found out I was pregnant with #3.  I have a 4yo and 2yo.  My husband never wanted kids, but b/c he loved me, he agreed to our 2 planned pregnancies.  He has had a rough time with things(demands of raising kids) since #2 arrived, and he ended up filing for divorce in Feb.  When he told me about the divorce, I was devastated that night, and I forgot to take my BCP.  He realized a week later, that it would be horrible to live apart and break up our family, so he decided not to go through with the divorce.  Now, a few weeks later, I find out I am pregnant.  He does not want the baby.  He says it is over if I go through with the pregnancy.  I don't want my kids to grow up w/o a father, but I never thought I could end a pregnancy.  I am such a mess right now.  I am 7weeks pregnant. 
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Re: I really need your advice

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    psychobabble35psychobabble35
    I am so sorry you are going through this heart breaking time. I was surprised to see that your post has been viewed 14 times with no responses, but actually, I think it is a difficult post to respond to! The problem is that the answer to your question com
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    danuli8danuli8 member
    I have to agree with the PP. I don't think it's acceptable to issue that kind of a threat: "Either the baby goes, or I go." Of course, if he really didn't want kids in the first place, maybe you should have divorced sooner since your values are different
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    Over-40 parents...what we lack in vigor, we make up for with cunning.
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    supersarah77supersarah77 member

    My heart goes out to you for what an awful time you are going through right now. I can't even imagine how much you must be hurting. 

    Listen. Even on BCP there is a chance of getting pregnant, so please don't beat yourself up over missing a d

    Me: 38, DH: 35
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    CheezeFaceCheezeFace member

    Coming out from lurking....

    I am so sorry.  What a horrible thing for you to deal with.

    This is a deeply personal decision and you will need to do some serious soul-searching before you decide anything.

    Taking pro-life/choice out

    ~Married 11/08~
    ~TTC since 01/09~
    ~SA & B/W - 06/09 - Normal~
    ~Encouraged by OB to "just keep trying" 06/09 - 06/10 (oh, the wasted time)~
    ~HSG - 08/10 - Clear/Normal~
    ~Lapo - 01/11 - Normal~
    ~Clomid 50mg, Trigger shot, Prometrium - 01/11, 02/11, 03/11~
    ~BFN - 02/11~
    ~IUI #1 03/15/11~
    BFP 3/28/2011
    Diagnosed with GD at 28 weeks. Controlled through diet and exercise. No insulin.
    Diagnosed with Cholestasis of pregnancy @ 36 weeks.
    Delivered via C-section @ 36 weeks on 11/9/11.

    TTC#2 for a few months naturally (ha!)
    ~IUI#1, Clomid, Trigger,  10/13 - BFN
    ~IUI#2, Femera, Ovidrel, 11/13




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    ShellBear+ShellBear+ member
    What a terrible situation.  I'm sorry your husband seems pretty awful to give you this ultimatum.  I don't think getting rid of the baby and staying married is an option, for me it wouldn't be.  You probably wouldn't be able
    TTC since Dec. 2010. Me: 37, DH: 38...unexplained RPL
    BFP #1 - missed m/c 4.18.11 found @8w3d, d&c @13w 
    BFP #2 blighted ovum found 8.2011 @8w, misoprostol
    BFP#3 - missed m/c 6.11.12 @ 9w3d, d&c revealed extra chromosome 15
    BFP#4 8.10.12, DD born 4/26/13
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    BeesMomma00BeesMomma00 member
    imageCheezeFace:

    Coming out from lurking....

    I am so sorry.  What a horrible thing for you to deal with.

    This is a

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    danieleandwaynedanieleandwayne member
    As someone who has terminated a pregnancy, I can not only appreciate your dilemma, but I have seen it from the other side so to speak. It is obviously not a decision to take lightly and all the PPs have made good points (why no vasectomy? why no counselin
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    "You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was." 
            -- Abraham Lincoln
     

                               Me:39  MH:39 
    DD born 6/1/2013 after 15 months of TTC with one loss.    
    TTC #2: BFP 4/22 but stalled growth and no HB at 9w3d on 5/30        

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    siempreyosiempreyo member

    I think all of the other ladies have given you very good advice.  Truly this is your decision, one that you should highly consider what you want and what is right for your body, family ( you and the kids).  

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    Geeps2Geeps2 member

    I am so very sorry that you are having to deal with this.  Other PP's have given great advice.  I just wanted to let you know that a very dear, wonderful, amazing friend of mine that is like a sister to me had a similar situation.  She a


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    CarpenoctemCarpenoctem
    I'm very sorry you are going through this. Everyone else has given some good advice/insight. Stay strong and do what you feel is in your heart.
    "For you formed my inward parts; you covered me in my Mother's womb. I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made" -- Psalms 139:13 Pregnancy Ticker
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    footnotegirlfootnotegirl member

    I am extremely pro choice. If you didn't feel that you could deal with it, I would be saying to do what you feel is best. But pro-choice means exactly that. I am for women having a choice. 

    It sounds like your best choice is not to abort thi

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