Question for STM...
How much do you really need you husband / SO when you get home from the hospital? My husband has this really important business trip that cannot be rescheduled that falls right along the time I will be coming home from the hospital -- if the baby comes on time. If the baby still hasn't come or I am in the hospital he is going to skip the trip but if we are home already he is going to go. I really don't want him to miss this opportunity but I also really want him home bonding with the baby and helping me. We are both so torn with what to do, especially being first time parents not knowing the tolls the new baby will take on us. He will only be gone for 2 nights, but I still am so unsure about what to do..
What is the hardest part of coming home? Am I really going to need him there if I have my mom and dad around too? WIll he be missing that much bonding time those first few days? I am going to be breastfeeding so its not like he will be feeding it anyways...
TIA for any advice.
Re: STM Question - home from the hospital
I felt fine to care for the baby myself once I was home from the hospital. It was nice having DH around, but I could have easier done it on my own.
One thing that you may want to consider is my pediatrician has me bring DS in a few days after we were home for a weight check, and just first appt. Is that something your DH would not want to miss? Most pediatricians want to see BF babies within a few days of discharge to check weight, and just see how things are going.
As for the bonding time, that's something that would have to be a family decision. It's important to us.
This, i did everything anyway, but I was very hormonal and needed his support that first week. He did a lot of grocery store run, take out dinner runs, last minute baby and breast pump supplies, etc. He'll probably have a hard time leaving you guys, too.
Make a pregnancy ticker
I think 2 nights is no big deal. Emotionally, yes it will be hard, you'll both wish he was there. But if your parents are around to help with running errands or giving you a break during the day to nap or shower or whatever, you will absolutely survive 2 nights on your own. I don't think it will have any negative impact on his and LO's relationship to miss that bonding time.
My husband had to work a lot when DD was first born, it just happened to be a busy few weeks. But I know it would have been more stressful for him to sit around watching me nurse and tend to the baby and miss work than it was for me to be without him for a little while. I needed him more for emotional support than physical help, and that could be done on the phone
My two boys are getting a surprise May 2015!
I really loved my husband being home with the baby. He was home for three weeks with our first and will be home three weeks this time around as well. He's super helpful in general and it was awesome having him wear her around the house while I rested or did other things. I wouldn't have been ok with him going on a business trip right after leaving the hospital, in fact they really want to fly him out to Delaware and he turned them down because the baby could be coming around that time.
The hardest part of coming home for me was dealing with my random, out of control hormones. I haven't really experienced crazy pregnancy hormones, but once we were home I would just sit and cry for no reason because I felt so overwhelmed. Nursing was also really difficult at first and you're running off of a tiny bit of sleep so that makes the transition more difficult.
I just wanted to end by saying that it's also really good and really fun. You all of the sudden have this new person in your house that you are so in love with and it's a hard transition but a really, really good one.
I had a c/s and was very thankful to have my DH at home. The hard part me was't taking care of the baby, it was feeding the cat and 2 dogs, letting the dogs out to go potty, cooking, cleaning, taking a shower, taking out the trash, etc. if you have friends and family who can come over and help with lunch/dinner, holding the baby while you shower or take a nap, I think you will be fine. Of course,it would be best to have DH there with you but I think you can do it alone with help from friends.
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