So I know it is completely a personal decision, but I still can't decide. My DH and first boy are both circumcised, but I hated doing it to my first son. I don't think the anesthesia took affect, and they used this horrible metal clamp thing, and it was total agony for him and me. Plus, afterward the gauze they used over the incision dried onto it and it was agony again trying to get it off. It was just such a horrible experience. But my worry is that if I don't circumcise our second son he will feel awkward and different because his brother and dad are. I don't want that to be a problem. There are enough insecurities that come with being a middle child (we're planning on having at least one more after this), that I don't want to add to it. Any advise? Do any of you have older boys that are different from another member of their immediate family? Has there been questions or awkwardness because they are different?
Getting ready to be a mama of 2 little munchkins
Re: Circumcision (I couldn't find an answer to exactly what I was wondering in other posts)
Ugh. Your experience is not encouraging. Of course, you could discuss your concerns with whoever it doing the procedure- and be sure that gauze doesn't dry this time. I plan to be watching like a hawk and to ask a ton of questions. I totally understand your reservations in doing it again.
As an aside, DH and his brother (6 years older) both were circumcised in the same ceremony. He remembers it! And he is still wanting LO to be circumcised!
GL in your decision. And whatever you decide, I'm sure things will work out just fine.
We're going to circ as it can cut back on the odds of contracting a STD.
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Oh just shut it already.
I would say that my son, as well as my nephew who is 6 see their dad's penis' enough to ask questions and want to look the same. Changing, going to the bathroom, showering, showering after swimming... it may not make a difference to some, but as far as the comment about running around naked, I think they see each other naked more than you think.
We decided to circumcise DS mostly for cleanliness reasons, but DH also is and it is the norm to him. We have also heard stories from men who had to get it done later in life and can remember and it was traumatic for both.
It is a personal decision, but if it is something you want to do you need to talk to your OB in advance about your concerns and explain what happened last time.
W : 01.11.13
#3 : due 11.02.15
Ooph, I would never consider allowing my baby to be circumcised. The very thought of putting a brand new infant (who just had a tough delivery, he did squeeze himself through a tiny hole, thats pretty traumatic, and possibly painful) through a surgery! They typically don't give anesthetic, and think about how painful it will be for you to pee with all those stitches and the acidic urine all over your tears! Owwa I had to pee in a bucket of warm water for two weeks due to the pain and fear of pain with urination. The vary thought of the little tyke going through such a process and I want to bawl. Its pure selfishness to have a baby circumcised. If they want it done let them do it when they are older, can make the choice for themselves and can handle the healing like a man.
Ask your husband if he could picture himself having one now! He will probably freak at the thought, so why would you do such a thing to an infant! Its going to hurt for a long time, and the baby has no way to communicate that and there is nothing you can do to help with the pain, drugging a baby up is terribly harmful and dangerous. I wish parents would think before they put their brand new babies on the surgery table where some heartless surgeon is going to hack their poor penis and they have no say in it. Every time I see my husbands scars I cringe knowing it must have been a mess, and so terribly painful.
Give your babies a strong healthy start to life don't start hacking parts off of them because "you think it LOOKS weird" That should be their decision when they are an adult.
ooph I'm sick to my stomach over the issue.
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This! My grandfather also had it done when he was an adult and said it was awful. He wished it had been done as a baby too! As for the gauze sticking, it should have been coated in vaseline before it was put on him. We only use vaseline gauze at our hospital for circumcisions because if you don't the gauze sticks and is very painful. Just check with the hospital and docs about different ways of circumcision if that's what you are wanting to do. As for our LO we will be circumcising for sure just because of the STD risks, UTI risks, penile cancer risks, and hygienic reasons.
Not sure where Pearlsnow saw a circumcision done the way she is describing but that way does sound awful! Anesthetic IS generally given if it is done in hospital or by a doctor and I have never seen a baby with stitches after a circumcision...not sure why he would have them. Whatever you decide you have to be comfortable with that decision and so does the baby's father.
BFP: 3/15/12 EDD: 11/25/12 DOB: 11/12/12
After my son was circumcised, he would not stop bleeding and had to stay an extra night in the hospital. It was hours of pure torture as they tried to put stitches in and the only "anesthesia" used was sugar water in an oral syringe.
Six months later -- after his foreskin largely grew back -- he had to have a circumcision revision under general anesthesia.
Fortunately, we have had no more problems since (he's 6 years old, now). But, I would NEVER opt for circumcision again. I also let my husband decide and believe me, he paid for making the wrong choice.
Pure torture, for my baby boy and us. To be honest, I am grateful I am having a girl this time for this reason.
This is good ADVICE. But, I would also ask if you can have a urologist do it. My pediatrician told me that when the OBs do it, they never see the babies again for a follow up and really have no idea how their "work" turns out.
DH and DS are both circ'd.
We are having a girl this time around, but had this LO been a boy, we'd opt against circumcision because it was not a good experience for us or DS.
Avery - 8.2.07 | Asher - 5.12.10 | Audrey - 11.28.12
2. A doctor that does not use a numbing agent is not someone you should allow near your child with a knife. As the parent, you should do your own research and ask lots of questions AND be in the room when they do it so as to confirm your wishes have been followed.
3. If your child is still in pain days after a procedure of any kind, there is a problem. And you'll know if they are in pain.
I still hold to my "Do what you are most comfortable with." Stance. However, one MUST do their research first, regardless of if you have already made up your mind or not.
....
This LO is a girl so fortunately that is a decision we do not have to make. My son is circumcised.
I let my DH decide and he knew of several men who where circumcised later on because of infections and foreskins that wouldn't retract properly. Here the procedure is done by a urologist, and a topical aneasthetic is used.
We literally gobbed vaseline on by the tablespoon full and never had any problem with it sticking. We didn't have problems like you had but I literally wanted to cry every time I changed C's diaper. It sounds as though you had an extra bad experience.
If you still feel that there are medical or personal reasons that make you think about circumcision. I'd talk to friends with boys, talk to your family doctor and get some good recommendations for providers to do the circumcision. If you decide against it I wouldn't let the aesthetics bother you, the boys probably won't care and went they are very young I'd just explain it along the lines of some people have blue eyes and some people have brown eyes.
Our DS's went very well. I could see how another country who doesn't have a high circ rate could possibly have different procedures that might it more uncomfortable for both baby and parents. I would ask your doctor which method they use and research it before making a decision. Also, our OB (who did it) told us to put vaseline on it with every diaper change (never had guaze.) The vaseline keeps it from sticking to the diaper.
Both my boys were circumcised but DS1 had "extra skin" at the top that never folded down. His ped dr said, it was up to us if we wanted to get it redone because he complained of itching even though he bathed every night and we treated it like he was uncircumcised (pulling it back, wiping gently, etc). There were enough medical reasons with the itching and lesions from the skin not falling back on its own to have specialist recommend he get it redone. And thankfully medical professionals recently came forward with acknowledging it is better to be circumcised to avoid infections, STDs, like PP yeast infections or I would have never been able to do it for cosmetic reasons only.
Let me tell you, it is much worse to deal with a 5 yr old who walks around and was in pain after the surgery than when they were babies and its less invasive and heals faster since they are immobile. To OP, I would really look into the benefits of it before deciding against it - it is much worse if you decide later on to do it. And I know he is very young and doesn't fully understand the difference, but even at 5 when we asked him if he wanted to get it done - he said yes he wants his to look like daddy's and DS2. I didn't make this decision rashly, I did a lot of thinking and researching, we are all happy we had it redone.
They typically DO use anesthetic and I've never heard of a circumcised infant having stitches.
I'm all for opposing view points but they do not have "their penis hacked on by a heartless surgeon."
This.
Psssst. No one cares what you think. I'm sure you're quite the penis expert at 17 but leave this conversation to the people who can at least speak English.
Haha, yes I know the difference between advice and advise. I was just distracted by my two year old climbing all over me while writing it.
My hubby is the only one of his brothers to be born in a hospital...and due to the TMI sharing of my brother-in-laws girlfriends, I learned that he is only one circumcised. When I brought it up to my hubby, he said he'd want our son circumcised...so we're going with it.
My little sister has a son who is 2 and is in med school, apparently there are different methods to circumcise a baby boy...it just depends on what way your pediatrician goes with. News to me, but she informed me of this today :-)
If you do decide to do it again I would suggest waiting and going to the urologist. They do it within the first month. We had to have DS1 redone because the OB did not do it enough (traumatic for all). We had DS2 done within the first month of birth at the urologist instead of the OB and it was fine.
My pedi recommends that as well. Everyone else I know though had absolutely no issues with their son's circs either way. If we have a boy again we will use the urologist, it is their expertise.
It really is a personal decision and I'm sorry you had a bad experience. Good luck with whatever you decide!!
Natural M/c 12/13/08 at 8w5d
You're special.
You have no idea how many women are in your shoes, they realized what they did with their first sons wasn't the right choice and want to do differently with their 2nd.
https://www.facebook.com/FutureSons (facebook group of moms deciding to keep future sons intact)
https://www.drmomma.org/2010/05/i-circumcised-my-son-healing-from.html sad sad story
https://www.mothering.com/community/t/112410/if-you-regret-circumcising-your-son-s-please-post-here/0_40 (there are 694!! responses to this thread, believe it or not)
https://www.thewholenetwork.org/14/post/2012/08/the-dangers-of-plastibell-circumcisions-graphic.html