Need Help from the Etiquette Queens
schmucac
member
1. In the final week leading up to the shower, do you contact those who have not RSVP'd in order to see if they cannot make it or just forgot to RSVP?
We'd like to have an actual head count, and there are some we totally expected to come (close family members) who have not RSVP'd. Myself and the other host are just sort of at a loss on whether or not to contact these people or not. Tacky or tactful?
2. If we invited people with younger children, but did not include the children's name on the invite, do we need to include them in our final count? This is mainly for how many favors to make since the favors are kid-friendly.
If a person (whom we will call Sandy) has a 5 year old and 2 year old, neither included on the invite, do we count for two more people in case Sandy ends up bringing them? Or do we make sure that the kids only get favors if there are extras, inevitably telling Sandy 'no' if she tries to give them some on her own?
**We'll have extra food and favors, but there are several people that fall into each category. We want to make sure that plenty to go around.
**Just a note, my ticker shows I'm pregnant, but this shower is for my sister who is due before me. I didn't want anyone to think I was doing to unimaginable task of throwing my own shower. 
Thanks!
Re: Need Help from the Etiquette Queens
It's absolutely fine to follow up with those who haven't RSVPed. And the RSVP should include numbers so you shouldn't have to guess for kids.
If Jane Smith RSVPs yes, and has a 4 year old who was not invited, assume the 4 year old isn't coming unless she specifically RSVPs for two (how rude!-but that's a whole 'mother topic).
I think it's fine to touch base with them to see if they're coming, and at the same time you can ask if they're planning to bring their kids.
A thought on favors- if it's not cost prohibitive, could you make enough for everyone that has kids, and if they don't bring their kids, send them home with the extras? The kids would probably be super-excited to get a favor when mom gets home from the shower. I think kids appreciate favors waaaaay more than adults do.
1. yes, completely ok to call on those that did not RSVP and ask if they are coming and how many people are coming.
2. when those people call in to RSVP ask how many are coming ("will your kids be able to come?")
I think its cute that you're giving the kids favors. they will really feel like they are part of the adult party.