I used to frequent this board but haven't been here for a long time. I have a very good friend who found out yesterday morning at her 32 week appointment that her baby boy's heart was no longer beating. I don't know anymore details than that because she texted the information - she's not ready to talk. My loss was early - 10 weeks - and only about 5 people knew about it. I know what helped me afterwards and what didn't help... but her situation is so drastically different that I don't know what to do for her.
Anyone with late losses, can you tell me what helped you? What things did friends do that were not helpful? How do I talk to her? Do I wait for her to come to me? Do I text her daily just to let her know I am thinking about her - or is that too much? I feel helpless. She lives about 3 hours from me so I can't go over and help with her older son... I can't take a homecooked meal. I am thinking of having a meal delivered to start. But any suggestions would be wonderful. TIA
Re: late loss moms
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
Perfect. Thanks so much!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Siggy Warning~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I agree, check the top of the loss board. Having a meal delivered is an excellent idea. If you can manage a visit in a few weeks, do it. Just be persistent in touching base w her even if you just send texts saying "thinking of you" or something. She may take a while to reach out but she'll know you're there.
We had a lot of friends who say they wanted to "give us space" but then never came back around. I think they just couldn't deal w it.
I lost my daughter as an infant. She was born with heart defects and only lived for 26 days. Shortly after her death, I found this wonderful website. It's called Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope. It's a website for sharing stories and advice among women who have lost children from early pregnancy to 2 years old I believe. The lady who started it suffered a stillbirth just a few months before I lost my own daughter. It also has links for family and friends on how to help.
https://facesofloss.com/ (main page)
https://facesofloss.com/friends-family (guidance for family and friends)