Keeping it together after the loss of my angel

My son was 3 months when he pass away on February 27, 2012 it has been a month. And sometimes it is hard to believe that he is gone. I did the funeral arrangements I dress him before the funeral i did everything. My husband was actually home when this happen. I was at school and 1 1/2 away I never got a chance to say goodbye. I am in the ARMY so it is hard to keep a straight face, but i am really good at it. It is hard everyday waking up when you are use to getting up getting the baby and feeding and changing him staying up late because he wants to talk. I felt so close to my little angel we had a bond no one else had. We would talk to each other I felt like he understood me and I understood him. Sometime now I would tell my Husband we have to get the baby ready then pausing and saying I am so sorry I forgot he was gone we are taking it day by day especially my oldiest son which is 5 he was really close he help with everything changing his pamper and feeding him, he love holding him. But my son is in a better place he doesn't have to deal with all of this hatred he didn't even know anything about it. That's our little angel he affected everyone with his love.