Originally my Mom shocked me by saying she wanted to be here for the birth (!!!).
We live in Germany, and my parents are in Massachusetts.
DH and I discussed it, and we really wanted a few days to a week at home, getting used to being new parents. My Mom and I are close, and I know she will be super helpful, etc, but I thought it would be undue stress on us right away.
I am due Nov 21, I told her to come around Dec 1-2, in case I go overdue. Now she says to me today "do you want me to come in January"? This totally surprised me. We were planning on having dh's parents come in early Jan, but hadn't offered it to them yet.
So, WWYD? Especially BTDT Moms. I was kind of hoping to have her help for when dh goes back to work (I am thinking he will take two weeks off), but I know with the holidays she will want to be home for Christmas...ugggh.
Re: if your family lives far away, when are they visiting?
My parents aren't quite as far away as yours but here's what we're doing:
We live in MD. DH's parents are about 3.5 hrs away in PA. They will be coming down to visit when we're in the hospital. I'm hoping my parents will do the same, but they are 8 hrs away in MA. Then everybody leaves and we will be home alone, just the three of us, for 2 weeks. When DH goes back to work at the end of 2 weeks, my parents are going to come down. His parents will probably visit again on a weekend (when DH is around) not too long after that.
This is our first so we're hoping this works out well.
My parents are coming for a week or so when LO one is born. They live about 5 hours away from us. As PP mentioned, I thought it would be nice to have her here when he comes home from the hospital incase DH or I needed a rest, or to help w/laundry, cooking, groceries, etc. DH will probably take a few days off at first, and then after everybody leaves (we are unsure of his parents plans as of right now) he will take a week or so off, around the holidays so we have more "Family" time...
That is how we have it planned as of right now...
Wow you girls really have a plan. My parents are planning on coming down for the birth. That is pretty much all I know. I assume they won't stay long perhaps a week. DH is planning on taking a couple weeks off and the week between christmas and new years off too.
MIL won't be helping at all. She was pretty sick last year (cancer), and her recovery has been rocky at best.
I am pretty much on my own from day one. YIKES!
As of right now, everyone will be there when we are birthing (at the hospital). The plan is that the day of discharge, DH and I will go home with LO alone and spend the night. My mom and dad will head down early that next morning - they are about 2 hours away. That way, if we have a horrific night, we know they are coming. My dad will stay that day and probably leave, and my mom will stay that week to help out. MIL is going to be able to come whenever, because she lives about an hour away and doesn't have a lot going on.
DH is planning about 2 weeks off of work once LO comes, so once he goes back, either my mom will come again or MIL will spend more time there for the help.
Welcome to Michigan!
ILs live only 20 minutes away, so they can visit whenever we feel ready to have them over. My mom will be flying in about 6 days before my due date, and staying until a few days after he's born. No set dates, as she doesnt work, and is flexible!
I live in Spain and my parents live in Seattle and that is pretty much what we are doing. She is coming mid-October to be sure not to miss the birth and will be here until December 2nd (my dad is coming over mid-November for 2 weeks). We also discussed what her idea of "help" is and I feel pretty confident she'll stick to that -- helping me do household things while I adjust to motherhood, etc. We also discussed her moving to stay with DH's parents or going to a hotel if emotions run high or we think it is starting to get stessful -- that's a worst case scenario, but I felt we had to discuss what would happen if we were driving each other batty.
I honestly couldn't imagine not having my mother here for the birth and here to help us out that first week even though my DH gets two weeks paternity leave.