I am 33 weeks and have been extremely emotional lately. I know everyone says its hormones but I feel like my husband contributes to a lot of it. He never wants to do anything with me and this past week I have been so upset about it my blood pressure went up and I am scared getting this upset will hurt the baby. He is in the military and was gone for all of month 6 now he is back but may be sent away again before she is born and we don't even know if he will be here for the birth and all I want is a little support. He said he can't do a lot of things with me because I am pregnant. To make matters worse when we do go out he gets so drunk it annoys me because I feel like he is abusing the fact that I am pregnant. I didn't sign up to be a 9 month DD. He is off again today playing golf with his buddies which is the 6th time in the past 2 weeks! He counts doctors appointments and shopping for things we need as spending time with me. He also wants to go to his friends house tonight for a fight thats on TV and said you can hang out with the other guys wife and *** about us! As if thats all women have to live for is talk about them. To make matters worse I caught him last week trying to masterbate in his closet! He said he does that because he read it makes him last longer.... but for who because he isn't having sex with me! I found the Ipod I bought him and checked the history and saw about 20 different porn sites and videos and one site called ashleymadison.com which is for having affairs! He told me he had to open the windows to close it which makes no sense because besides him who would open those sites and then he said most were pop ups.... does he really think I am that stupid!!?? Now it makes me worry that he is cheating on me and I feel like I have no where to go because he just moved us to the middle of nowhere in Alabama 20 hours away from my family and friends so he can pursue his career while making me leave mine behind! I feel unloved, unattractive, and replaceable and I don't want to feel this way with my first child. This was suppossed to be a happy time in my life.
Re: Vent about hubby! HELP!!
This! Communication is key, I'd have a serious talk about what his priorities are.
I'm sorry you are going through this, you definately need to let him know how you feel. If you want to spend time with him maybe try comprimising and doing something for you both?
I know the UFC fight is tonight, and definately not my cup of tea either but my DH loves them. So we are doing baby shopping and stuff I want to do in the afternoon and then meeting his brother and brothers GF at Buffalo Wild Wings for supper (not a restaurant I like but the guys love it and it plays the fight) so that he can see the fight but he's not out at some bar watching it while I'm stuck at home...we do this ALOT with the UFC fights and its a great way for me to get a saturday with him
This is a really sucky situation. You shouldn't have to compromise just to hang out with him. He should be compromising to hang out with you! A lot of what is going on with you and your H would NOT fly in my household. You need to stop being so passive about these things. I know with you in the military and him in the military it's not that easy to just leave because you're both stationed in the same place. I don't know if you would want to do it or not but depending on how mad/bad things get I'd talk to his superiors, maybe they can talk some sense into him. Or try counseling. I know it also sucks being so far away from what you know! My husband is in the Air Force and we're 2000 miles away from our families so it's not like you can just get in your car and drive.. I hope that ya'll are able to work things out for your family.
ashleymadison.com? Wow.... I'd say this trumps all other annoyances. If he's not already cheating on you, he's thinking about it. Period.
Counseling, immediately - good luck to you.
You are beautiful and NO man, especially DH should make you feel this way. Your pregnancy is an important time and DH should be nothing but respectful and catering to YOU. As far as the porn and lack of quality time, I would definitely have a conversation with hubby. Let him know the things that have been bothering you. Good luck and I hope everything works out.
I hate to have to agree with this, but I do. You need to go to couples counseling.
Well You definately are NOT unattractive...YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMEN AND EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL FOR CARRYING A BABY!!!
You dont deserve to feel unimportant right now. You have to be strong and think of yourself and your baby. I would talk to him RATIONALLY AND CALMLY and tell him how you feel.
Whatever happens you WILL be ok either way.. If things god forbid dont work out with you and him....You still will be ok.
I think you have some major decision making to do based on this.
Staying with a man like this is not the best thing for you OR your child.
Unless he's willing to go to counseling and work HARD at your marriage and changing his priorities, etc, I'd say you need to walk.
If my husband pulled this with me, I would ask him were I should send the requests for child support. He seems to not take you seriously. That is not only insulting but not good for you or your child.
I'm not familiar with the military at all, but just knowing men, this doesn't seem like a good idea. I really think that this would make him resent her more than it seems like he already does.
Was he like this prior to pregnancy?
This is a tough situation, and I'm usually all for "working it out", but I think staying with family is a good idea.
If he's always been like this, then you being away from him while with family might give you the courage/reassurance you need to know that you can make it without him, if need be.