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I' m new here.

RebekahagRebekahag member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
I took two preg tests and they were positive. I began bleeding later but before that happened my boyfriend and I told a few people and now I found out I miscarried the baby. Feeling depressed and then one of my so called friends says maybe next time I will be quiet until I know for sure that I'm pregnant. I have been very depressed ever since. People can be so cruel. Has anyone experienced this before?
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Re: I' m new here.

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    melissa721melissa721 member

    I'm sorry for your loss =(

     

    M/Cs are more common than you think which is why a lot of people choose to keep quiet until they are out of first tri but it was insensitive for your friend to say that. It's not like it would change your situation or make you feel any better.

     

    Maybe later on when you are beyond this initial grieving stage you could talk to her about how the comment made you feel.



     

    bfp 1 - m/c 1.31.11 @ 10 weeks

    bfp 2 - baby born via c-section on 5.4.12 @ 37 weeks

    bfp 3 - blighted ovum/d&c on 4.13.13 @ 8 weeks

    bfp 4 - 3rd IUI, very late BFN with super low P, c/p

    bfp 5 - natural bfp while on lupron, baby born via RCS on 4.27.15 @ 39 weeks

    bfp 6 - surprise! baby born via RCS on 11.13.16 @ 38 weeks



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    1220winterbride1220winterbride member
    I haven't had anyone make that bold of a rude comment. I am so sorry for your loss and as PP said you should def. let her know how you feel later. esp so she doesn't offend someone else in the future.

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    ClaraEarleneClaraEarlene member
    I'm sorry for your loss, and for your "friend's" harsh words.  I'm shocked by the things that have been said to women who have lost a baby, and grateful that I've heard only positive, supportive things.
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    yogiwannabmomyogiwannabmom
    I'm so sorry. I've seen the best and worse from people through all this. What a horrible comment. My doctor made an excellent point after I had miscarraige:  he had asked who we told, I replied "the people from my yoga studio and when the ultrasound was bad, our parents" . He said "good, there is a stigma now about women telling people too soon for fear of losing the child , but in my experience i've found many women saying that it's a lot easier to say 'i lost the pregnancy', than say 'i was pregnant, now i'm not', plus there is more support if more know. And I really think that's true. Most people have been great that i've told and if i'm blessed to get pregant again i will be telling more people earlier...
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    ClaraEarleneClaraEarlene member

    imageyogiwannabmom:
    I'm so sorry. I've seen the best and worse from people through all this. What a horrible comment. My doctor made an excellent point after I had miscarraige:  he had asked who we told, I replied "the people from my yoga studio and when the ultrasound was bad, our parents" . He said "good, there is a stigma now about women telling people too soon for fear of losing the child , but in my experience i've found many women saying that it's a lot easier to say 'i lost the pregnancy', than say 'i was pregnant, now i'm not', plus there is more support if more know. And I really think that's true. Most people have been great that i've told and if i'm blessed to get pregant again i will be telling more people earlier...

    I feel the exact same way!  I know it's not pleasant to talk about, but not talking about it makes it seem as if there is something to be ashamed about.  Yeah, it's painful to say over and over again, but think about how helpful it was for you to hear that your friend or cousin or coworker went through the same thing you're going through.  No one wants to be alone in this.  I'm glad we told our entire families and friends about the pregnancy and the miscarriage, because if it ever happens to someone I know, they will know they can talk to me.

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