I'm hoping I'm not the only one, but....
I am dreading having to be so exposed during L&D. Like having my mary on display for the world to see and whichever other parts are going to lose their privacy. I'm not BFing, so thankfully I don't have to worry about anyone messing with the girls.
I'm also not too thrilled with the idea of a whole parade of people poking and prodding, (I've been told that the hospital I'm delivering at is a teaching hospital, so there are interns and residents and such). I'm going to include something about this on my birth plan, but I'm sure there are no guarantees.
Moms have told me that in the heat of the moment you really don't care, but I can't imagine myself not. I'm almost freaking out about this just as much as the rest of the delivery, (but not quite as much as the Texas Chainsaw Massacre which will inevitably befall my poor mary).
I know this is unavoidable in the whole process, but I was wondering if anyone could share some tips on how to maintain some sort of privacy. If I try to include such requests on my birth plan, will it even be acknowledged or will they just tell me "tough noogies"?
TIA!
Re: Freaking out about being so "exposed" during L&D :(
Are you aware that they will be doing internals at your OBs office on your next visit most likely??? It's the same thing really--I was in L&D twice with DS and then obviously the day I went to get induced---they check you fairly quickly---and you generally have a sheet over you---so it's not like you are up in stirrups just waiting----- you'll be covered up when they aren't checking.
My new "mom" blog: http://realityofamommy.blogspot.com
[img]
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
Notes:
You are too funny. The other moms are right, at the time you are in full labor and about to deliver you will not give a F who the heck is looking at your "mary". I had male nursing student observe my delivery. It was his first time seeing a delivery and his face sure showed it. LOL
You are really only exposed when you are about to push and even then your hospital gown is covering your thighs, sort of like getting a pap. Though that was my experience.
Good Luck!
You have the ability to tell them you would rather not have studen residents in the room. Also let your husband/doula or your nurses know that you would like to keep the door shut. You also don't have to wear the hospital gown. You can get a cotton, knee length skirt that you aren't worried about ruining to wear. Then when you have to get up or move around you don't have to worry about your butt hanging out. In the heat of labor you probably wont care... but the rest of the time lol. I'm pretty nervous about it too
I will also deliver at a teaching hospital. I'm not thrilled about getting someone I just met to take me through labour, but c'est la vie. The good news is I should have just one nurse and one resident to get me through, and then my actual doctor for the delivery. That's three people (plus DH and a doula), not a parade.
I really hope your body hang-ups aren't why you're not breastfeeding. If so, that's too bad.
Natural Birth Board FAQs
Cloth Diaper Review Sheet
Married since 06/19/2004|Anna born 11/19/2006|Charles born 11/1/11
Double undergrad graduation May 2011| Me: Psychology, DH: Communication| A long journey!
<a href="http://s21.photobucket.com/albums/b268/gussiebutt/?action=view
I assume Mary = Vagina? sigh
I promise you, you don't care, you just want the baby out and a few random people watching or standing around will not bother you. My hospital isn't a teaching hospital, but the majority of my time pushing was with just one nurse. When he was about to come out, I don't even know how many people came in, didn't care, just wanted him out.
After paps, internal exams for the month or so leading up to delivery, all the checks in early labor, the least concern is when the baby is actually coming out.
Having done this twice before, I can tell you with the upmost confidence that you will not care once things get moving who is taking a gander at your vagina. Alot of women find clothes to be really obnoxious during that labor process, that's why there are so many naked or just a sports bra pictures and videos of labor...they aren't crazy naked, un-modest people, they're just in labor people. I also really hope that you body issues are not the reason you will not try breastfeeding, that would be a shame.
The only time you'll be exposed for a long period of time is while you're pushing, and you probably won't be thinking about it much. Also, if you have anyone in the room aside from medical staff and your dh you can have them closer to your head so that they aren't able to see much.
The internals are relatively quick and most of the time they feel and don't look.
TTC #2 since 1/14
Miscarriage d/t blighted ovum 8/14
DD1, Kathleen 9/15/2007
I'm sorry, I got held up at the use of the word 'Mary'. It is a vagina. It worries me that you can't even write that word out.
You won't care when the time comes. You aren't hanging out naked and uncovered for your whole labor.
Lurking....but I was the exact opposite the second time around. I was practically throwing the sheets off begging them to check me.
My first time around I was a little like you, but then the real labor kicked in, and I couldn't care less who saw my vag.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter
"><a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"><img border="0" src="http://tickers.myfitnesspal.com/ticker/show/825/1820/8251820.png" /></a><p style="text-align:center;width:420px;"><small>Created by MyFitnessPal - Free <a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com">Calorie Counter</a></small></p>This, plus it's there job. They have seen it all. So there's no reason to be embarassed. Remember you are paying for it, so if you don't feel comfortable with something, talk to you doctor and see what they can do to make you feel more comfortable. I have never gave birth before, but I'm sure I'm not going to care who is in there. I just want my LO out of there safely.
At the time of DD's birth, I was fine with the college students and all, and there ended up being about 15 or so total people in the room. about 10 or so just observed. 1 was the OB on call, 1 was a resident that did my internals, 1 was my L&D nurse, and there were 2 nurses that came in towards the end to take DD to wipe her clean, weigh her, etc. Looking back on it, I have decided to tell my L&D nurse to keep all non-necessary staff and students out, but just because I felt the crowd took away some of the intimacy of the moment for DH and I.
You might be better with talking to your L&D nurse about it when the time comes. I "wasted" my time writing a whole birth plan, b/c the OB who delivered DD just skimmed it and put it aside. My nurse asked me what I wanted/needed every step of the way.
I was really uncomfortable about the idea of random people seeing me naked. At two weeks past the due date, I went in for an induction and I had no idea what to expect. I assumed my (small-handed female doctor) would be there and the baby would be born by the next morning. It took two days of being fisted (I know that's crude, but seriously, that's how much it hurt) by a parade of strange men checking to see how dilated I was/to insert the drug, a race to the OR to have my water broken with my gown flying open and everyone in the hall seeing my ass (thanks DH for telling me that) when H's heart rate dropped too low, and then finally it was time to push. They asked if a med student could come in and by that point, I said "why not." He was amazing and helped me count to three before each push, and I really didn't care that he and the other eight doctors/nurses in the room were seeing me naked. Two hours later, I had the c-section and finally got to hold my baby.
My point is that you might feel really uncomfortable at first, and it does suck when you're really modest, but after a while you won't care.
You will only be as exposed as you want to be until it is time to push, honestly. You can be covered neck to knees if you like and wear socks. I'll wager you are more exposed on a summer day in shorts and a tshirt.
I'd talk to your doctor about this concern. It's the last thing you will need in the back of your head during labour. You should be trying to relax as much as possible to let your body do its job.
The BFing thing I hope (again) is not a choice made of modesty. Consider your options. And, I'm no expert here (both kids were breastfed) if you choose not to breastfeed, your breasts are going to need attention regardless. The milk will come.
It's weird the first time around. But like so many others before me have said, you will be surprised at what you won't care about. I remember my doctor inviting my mom to have a look when DS1 was crowning. A few people crouched on the floor looking up to check it out (I was squatting during most of the pushing phase). Pretty funny looking back on it.
This. I'm not the type to go spreading my vagina in people's faces, but we're talking about a medical procedure here, not a first date. Everyone in that room is going to be doing their job, nothing more, including you. You don't have to give up modestly protecting your "mary" in every other situation, but I would say that labor is an extraordinary circumstance.
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
Your verbiage makes you sound really uppity and prude.
Just sayin'...!
I didn't read the whole thread but my experience was funny. At the beginning of labor I was holding my gown closed when I stood up and super modest. By the end, there could have been 70 people in there and I wouldn't have cared. LOL. The nurses are awesome about it and honestly - you're the only person who feels awkward. Best advice is dont' worry about it - when the time comes you'll be more focused on having your baby then worried about who is sneaking a peek at your lady bits. Honestly - I did not even care once things got really rolling.
I put modesty up there with the fear of throwing up or pooping while pushing. It's something you might obsess over beforehand, but in the moment and afterwards you really don't care. I vomited 2 or 3 times during my labor with DS and it's honestly something I forget when recounting my birth story. I also suspect I may have pooped while pushing, but honestly I don't care.