Military Families
HappyMommy28
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Am I being rude?
HappyMommy28
member
I have a cousin who joined the AF a while back with her then fiance. They both went to boot camp and then went on for school. They got married by Justice of the Piece and got pregnant. She got out. Still - she feels the need to be proud of her "services." I don't blame her for getting out - I would probably get out if I were in and then got pregnant. But I find myself feeling extremely irritated that she expects certain benefits and privileges (like specials on veterans day) when she was barely in. She didn't complete her four years and she didn't even get her first duty station. Am I being harsh or do I have a good reason to find myself irritable?
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Re: Am I being rude?
First, it's Justice of the Peace, not piece.
Secondly, she probably still gets benefits like the GI Bill.
Would I consider her a veteran? No. And if I were her, I wouldn't walk around bragging about my never even got a duty station service.
I got out after 4 years, 9 months, and 2 days. I did get college paid for and I am totally taking advantage of that right now but I would like to make the assumption that I have done and seen things that you wouldn't believe or even be able to imagine. I HAVE helped to save our country and preserve our freedom. Shame on you for thinking less of ANYONE who has served this country. You do have to have guts to join the military and that is regardless of how long someone serves. Again, shame on you.
Websters Definition:
I personally think a "military veteran" is someone who has or is served/serving in a war/military conflict or has served their contract....not just going to boot camp and getting out. People have all their different reasons for joining and getting out, but I don't think its the same.Some say a Veteran is someone, who at one point in their life, wrote a blank check payable to the United States of America for an amount up to, and including, their life. That is beyond honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer remember that fact.
Yes, you are being rude. I think you might have some other issues with your cousin that?s prompting this irritation. But back to the subject, when she got out of the military it was on a medical discharge. Would you think any less of a marine who was injured and was medically discharged before reaching his 4 year commitment?
I was in for 4 years and then got out and used my GI Bill. Yes, this was my plan when I joined, to do my 4 and go to school full time. Does that make me less of a Vet? Nope, I was still there doing my job and protecting your right to work, live and be where you chose back here in the states. Anybody who makes the decision to put others before themselves, which is what serving our country is, is a Vet and deserves the benefits of it! And like emolm asked: ?do you have the guts to join the military?..? My guess is no because if you did, you?d think differently about what a Veteran is.
this!
I don't see anything wrong with someone serving their time and getting out. My DH will be in for about 8 years when he gets out. I don't see anything wrong with that. He severed his time even if he doesn't retire from the Army.
On the who subject of what is a Vet? I think people see it differently. I personally think a Veteran is someone who has severed in combat. Those who did not do that are still honorable but I'd call them "ex-military" or "prior military" not a Veteran. But thats just me.
9/26/10 stopped BCP and started TTC.
9/2011 referred to RE. All blood work normal and DH's SA=normal results
11/2011 HSG=both tubes clear
One natural (monitored) cycle of Clomid, 50mg 2/2012= BFN
Getting ready for first IUI, 3/2012 received orders to Japan! (postponed IUI)
5/2012 Moved to Japan, fought Tricare for months over referral (no fertility treatment on our military base) for Japanese RE out in town!
8/2012 Started seeing new RE
9/2012, post coital test= hostile cervical fluid, (finally) moving on with first IUI!
9/29/2012 IUI #1+trigger= BFN
10/27/2012 IUI #2+100mg Clomid CD5-9+trigger= BFN
11/28/2012 IUI #3+100mg Clomid CD5-9+trigger= BFN
12/28/2012 IUI#4+100mg Clomid CD5-9+trigger=BFN
2/1/2013 IUI#5+injectables+trigger=BFN
3/2013 IUI#6+injectables+trigger=???
I didn't mean to offend anyone. I just get irritated because she chose to get out (I don't see being pregnant as a medical condition - sorry) and she still expects people to give her benefits. Such as "I was in the military but I don't have an id card anymore, do I still get 10% off?" I don't have an issue with anyone who used the military to go to school and did their part. More power to them.
As for the PP who questioned about the marine in for a few years but was injured - of course I wouldn't question him or anyone else like him in his situation. As stated above - my cousin CHOSE to get out due to having a baby and still expects benefits (not including GI bill) of those still serving.
On the flip side of this, men aren't offered the option to get out when their wives have a baby and they both signed the same contract. So in a sense it is a double standard in a fairly basic form. I'm not saying I wouldn't want out if it were me, I'm just saying women in the military want to be treated equally but then things like this are in place that make them 'special'. I can see both sides of this argument.
Not all female soldiers feel that pregnancy makes them "special". I'm 31 weeks and still proudly put on my uniform!! I've been placed on light duty for obvious reasons but I don't slack just because I'm pregnant. I'm the only female in my platoon and not once have I asked for special treatment. I hate it when they try and brush me off or think that I'm not capable because I am a women!! I opted to stay in the Army and have my child knowing that my unit will be deploy sometime late 2011/2012.
I also don't judge women who get pregnant and get out. That's their choice, if they know that they can't handle being in and having a child then they need to go because you can't be distracted under pressure. Maybe they don't have support from their families or their significant other, not everyone is that lucky. At least they had the nerve to sign up and give it a try especially in a time of war, and their are a lot of people who don't even make it past basic!!
As for the men, yes, I do see that their is a double standard there...
I'm just saying that until you've gone through it, you really don't know.
As for OP's cousin....it really isn't something that she should be bragging about! It gives other female soldier's a bad name, and there are still many people out there that think that females shouldn't serve.
so are you saying that she didnt even make it out of the schooling??? cuz if thats the case, no she doesnt get to be respected as a vet, she didnt even get to her first duty station...i read this to my husband and got this look from him
for her wanting to be called a vet if she didnt get through the training...
also, pregnancy is NO reason to quit, if a man cant get out cuz his wife has a baby, then neither can a woman, thats a big double standard...the woman i babysit for is a plt sgt in AIT, shes a single mom, and obviously shes still in the army...she says that having a baby is not a good "medical discharge" its a cop out...
My mom and dad were in boot camp together when she got pregnant with me. My mom decided it was in her best interest to get out of the Navy and go back to school and raise her family. I have never seen my mom ask for special privileges such as 10% off veterans day dinners, but I do know she wants to be respected with a flag when she passes away. She never was sent to her duty station but if you can earn a flag when you die, you served our country, and that means it makes you a veteran.
Now on the other hand, walking around asking to be treated the same as the service members that were there for 2-40 years is a little much. I have respect for all military personnel no matter length of service. They made it further than me! As said, being a military wife is the hardest job.
You had me until this, last I checked we aren't on the payroll and I would take my warm comfy bed alone over a night being shot at any day. That saying is almost as bad as someone claiming to be a vet when they are not.
*edited because I can't type*
No she did not make it through schooling. She was there for just a short time before she found out she was pregnant and got out. It doesn't bother me that she got out because she was pregnant, especially since her hubby was in. I would have done the same thing. I just don't think she should expect the same respect as people who have made it through schooling and onto their first duty station.
Women getting out because they are pregnant definitely rubs me the wrong way. My H's mom got pregnant while she was stationed with his dad in Germany and served another 9 years after that.
As far as someone being in training or boot camp and leaving due to being pregnant, they probably didn't make that choice themselves. You typically can't stay in boot camp or a training while you are pregnant because that requires light duty. Tell me how well you think light duty would work out at boot camp. I'm not saying they are a vet I'm just saying that perhaps it wasn't their choice...unless they got pregnant on purpose. Technincally you shouldn't be getting pregnant at boot camp unless there is some major rule breaking going on anyway so that just makes you an idiot.
Exactly!! If someone gets pregnant while at Basic (someone I went to basic with did) they DO NOT have a choice. They will be sent home because they are not physically able to complete training. They shouldn't have been having sex during training in the first place and if the male soldier is caught as well they can also be discharged. However they can return/re-enlist after having the baby (I believe it's 6 months or a year after). Your not allowed to have sex during training it so against regulation and you can get into a lot of trouble!! (but people do it anyway and I've seen many get discharged for it. Idiots.)
Medically retired without having completed training? I don't guess I've ever met someone who fell under this description.
I always think of a Vet in the terms of the VFW; veteran of a foreign war. Meaning you deployed. In my own little classification other people who served would fall into the ex/prior military, or retired category. I'm sure others define a veteran in a different way. I have just always used this as my classification system I suppose. Not saying mine is right and other are wrong though. And I don't think that just because you never fought in a war makes you less of an honorable person. I just think freedom has a different taste for those who have fought for it. A taste I myself will never know, but my husband and others like him do.
You don't really "retire" if for some medical reason you can't finish Basic you just get a medical discharge, meaning that you where let going with Honorable on your DD214.
But it kinda depends on if your injury occurred prior to training or during training. If you lie at MEPS and don't fess up to previous injuries, get sent to Basic and it is found out that you have some type of physical problem preventing you from performing then it's up to your command on whether to send you to get it treated or to just send you home.
If for some reason you get hurt during training (and people do, mostly because they don't follow orders) then they are treated for it. They will probably be sent home for awhile and then return to finish Basic. They won't be discharged unless it's something that just can't be treated (which is rare for something that serious to happen).
I would respect the person who gave it their all and got hurt during Basic more than someone who just lied to get in. Either way, they didn't finish and aren't Vets. But they did more than most people and tried.
I agree that someone who was only in for a few months shouldn't try to ride the veteran train, however, 3 or 4 years, regardless of the reason they joined, they served 3 or 4 years and deserve the recognition. Heck, even if they only served 1 year, as long as they served (because one year in a certain MOS can seem like FOREVER lol) - but if you didn't get to your first duty station? uhhh, I would be embarrassed to tell people i was a veteran (even though I suppose technically she is).
Damn....that sucks that they won't let you recover at home. In the Army they do, but of course depending on the injury. A guy in my platoon broke his leg and after surgery he got sent home on con. leave and returned to finish Basic.
Honestly, I love the Army and being in the military, but I wouldn't join the Marines. I hear their training is a lot harder.But you did more than most people would!!!! I have much respect for you!!
Damn....that sucks that they won't let you recover at home. In the Army they do, but of course depending on the injury. A guy in my platoon broke his leg and after surgery he got sent home on con. leave and returned to finish Basic.
Honestly, I love the Army and being in the military, but I wouldn't join the Marines. I hear their training is a lot harder.But you did more than most people would!!!! I have much respect for you!!
ur not being rude. i was a female marine who was pregnant. i did my 3 yr and x months and got out. i didnt deploy but i am still a vet. hope this helps.