Whenever MIL comes over, I let her hold DD (usually). But if she starts to fuss, my mom alert goes off and I need to take over. I try to give MIL a chance to calm her down, but after maybe 10 seconds, I go over to her and take DD away. She doesn't cry much, so when she does, I can easily figure out what's bothering her and I can fix it instantly. MIL tries to sing to her.
Tonight DD fussed, I went over to get her, and MIL tried to turn her back on me so I couldn't get to DD. I told her "I need to soothe my baby" and I took her away... I knew she was hungry so I went upstairs to the nursery and fed her... and I made the feeding last until MIL went home (the nursery is off-limits to everyone but DH when I'm nursing). Am I a bad DIL for stealing my baby away from her grandma?
Re: Is it possible to be a baby hog when it's your own baby?
I also take my baby from my MIL when she fusses. MIL doesn't seem to be very motherly...
I do feel bad because I let my mom, sister, and grandma soothe her. I guess I am just more comfortable with them.
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
I think we have the right to hog our own babies if we want to.
MIL always makes snide comments about me when DS starts to cry, so now I take him away immediately before she can say something that will piss me off.
Well...
Lookit, she's your baby. But, you might get the side-eye from your IL's on this one. It's just the way it goes sometimes. I know how you feel though. Mine are here this week and we went out earlier for ice cream and took our DD in the stroller. She cried for a good portion of the way there (my MIL was pushing the stroller) and it was all I could do to NOT snatch her out of the stroller and take her home. She ended up falling asleep and it was all fine.
So, I dunno. You gotta do what feels right to you. Sometimes you'll be judged for it though.
I judge my ILs all the time... I guess turnabout is fair play.
I am so very guilty of this. I don't feel as bad now.
According to my mother, I don't know how to be a mother and apparently she feels the need to take the baby away from my hands if she's fussy. Go figure!!! Had a huge fight with her today over all the nonsense.
So no, I don't feel like you're being a hog. It's your baby!!!! It's just MIL and Mother's seem to be very damn opioniated and controlling yet think they are coming off helpful.
I am the same way. My MIL barely raised her own son (he was an only child, was with grandma most of his first 3 months, and had a live in nanny), so she really has no idea what to do with her when she cries. Most of the time she hands her over. Either way I usually take her.
My mother on the other hand takes her from me when she gets fussy. I have absolutely no problem with that because my mom seems to have that touch. She can get her calm in seconds.
If she can't get her calm, what's the point in letter her cry?
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eh, I think its a bit much. 10 seconds? Give the woman a chance.
Now if she's actually crying, thats different. But a little fussing? 10 seconds is a short time. I'd be a bit taken a back if a mom ripped her child out of my arms after 10 seconds as well.
the most important part of what u just said was "a mom, and her child" what right do u feel u have to someone elses child when they want them back? I don't get u ppl. i understand those of u who so freely let anyone hold and soothe, more power to u. but if i want my child, no one and nothing is going to keep him/her from me, family or not. u didn't carry that child or go through labor. ur not home with me at night feeding him/her or taking care of them so don't presume you stake any claim, especially the first few months.
Yikes. The umbilical cord is cut at birth for a reason.
OP, if LO is just fussing, then let others try to comfort him/her. If it's out of hunger or a diaper change then I agree with you. LO needs to learn to be soothed by others as you may not always be around (i.e. work, events, etc.). It's important for children to gain relationships with other family members too.
I completely understand why you would want to take your baby and soothe him. After all, it's your baby. You're more likely to know what he needs than just about anyone else. That being said, I would suggest a more tactful approach to it.
When he starts fussing tell your MIL what he needs and let her take care of it. I'm sure she's perfectly capable of changing and plenty of other things. Obviously, if you're nursing and the baby is hungry then you'll need to take over. Try something nonchalant like looking at your watch before you go for him and saying "Oh, it's time for a feeding again." Your MIL (and others for that matter) will feel less pushed aside if there's some communication other than just taking him out of their arms.
I'm ready to climb the walls, too, buddy.
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