April 2013 Moms

s/o meltdown WDYD/T

I have a generally awesome happy baby except I would say like once a week I have a cranky baby who A. cries ALL day or B. has a crazy 2+ hour meltdown.

I'm trying to soothe with everything I can think of but it doesn't work so I feel like I have her crying it out on her own...sometimes in my arms, sometimes in her swing.    All the recent reading I've done on the effects of crying it out make me moreso want to try and fix her myself.  

Anyway, just wondering your thoughts or what you do on bad days or for long meltdowns (longer than 1 hr). 

If the baby cries until exhaustion in your arms do you think that is "crying it out"?

EDT:  when these days arise I seriously try every trick in the book from the 5 S's to walking outside, to carrides.   


Re: s/o meltdown WDYD/T

  • I don't think we've ever had constant hysterics for longer than an hour...but playing really loud music works just about 100% of the time. It's amazing
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  • Try running your blow dryer, it helps us... I norm give a few minutes alone like 3 to 5 min. Then I pick up try everything and hold her/nurse and glide in my chair holding her for as long as it takes but having the blow dryer on and having it next to us works 99.9 of the time
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  • Hmm could it be gas pains or something like that? I guess I would try gripe water or colic calm to see if that helped and if not, guess I would do like you said , stroller walks outside always soothe my little guy. Even just walking outside with him gets his attention off of whatever bothers him.
  • Nursing has always worked for all three of my girls. It's when I try to soothe without nursing that I have problems.

    The articles refer to being left to CIO alone. If she's in your arms, she knows you haven't abandoned her.
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  • DD is having WAY fewer of these now that she's getting older and her gas is getting better, but we used to deal with her being inconsolable for a couple of hours every night.

    I don't consider "crying it out" to include holding and trying to soothe.  For me, CIO is when you leave your baby alone to cry (and I'm not just talking 5 mins so you can breathe/calm down/ go to the bathroom). Sometimes DD would calm down if I put her down, and if so I would leave her alone.  Generally, though, she cried even harder so I would just pick her right back up and keep trying my best.  Sometimes giving her a bath would help, but usually she would just scream and scream.  I felt like at least she knew someone was there and aware of her discomfort, even if I couldn't fix it.

    There were definitely times when DH and I would say to each other that we wanted to just leave her alone to cry, but I'm really glad we didn't.  Even though it was SO stressful to deal with a baby who just couldn't be soothed except by exhausting herself from screaming, we know we did what was best for us by holding her (and sometimes crying with her). 

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  • Kate_CKate_C
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its
    I've fortunately never had a meltdown that long without a discernible cause (like an ear infection when DS was close to a year).  But no, if you are trying to help your baby and just not figuring out the root cause of the meltdown, that isn't CIO. Don't give yourself added stress thinking you are somehow damaging your child when she's having a meltdown. Even CIO, if you follow the schedule recommended by Ferber (which doesn't let your LO cry for very long without a response), is not likely to damage your child.  I suspect the studies referenced in the thread below are related to chronic neglect, not thoughtful sleep training.  Just keep doing your best and know that someday it will get better!  
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  • The same thing hardly ever works twice for us, so I have no tried and trues. A bath, music, me singing, walking outside, are some things that have worked in the past. But we definitely have days that nothing works, so we rock in the chair together just so he knows I'm there for him!

  • Usually I can get DD to calm down by picking her up and swaying with her, bouncing or rocking her but like I said in my post below that today she was inconsolable. I literally pulled out all the tricks I know and nothing. I don't think I was letting her " CIO" in the way of letting my baby feel abandoned but she was crying it out with me because there was just nothing left I could think of to do. She finally calmed down enough to nurse and was out like a light.
  • DS doesn't have those kinds of meltdowns, but when he cries from being over tired, H takes him into the dark bathroom and runs the shower with cold water.

    When it's just me at home with him, I rock him with big swing movements and that settles him or I put him in a breastfeeding craddle position and give him a soother

    I can get him from a 10 to a 0 in 4 minutes max.. I've timed it lol
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  • We haven't had THAT epic of a meltdown, in terms of duration, but when he loses his marbles sometimes the only thing that helps is buckling him into his carseat and swinging ityself much harder than seems would be enjoyable. It's like that pirate ship ride at an amusement park. Works every time. Unfortunately he is 17 pounds and our carseat is super heavy, so for my back's sake it is not the best solution!
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