Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Day care and biting

Im reposting this from the working moms board for some advice

 

So my son has been bitten 3 times at daycare in the past 3 months and it is starting to bother me. I typed an email to the Director at the daycare but I am wondering if I am overreacting. Can you read it and tell me your thoughts or any suggestions? 

 

Hi ---,

--- has been bitten 3 times since he moved to the young toddler room (2 times in the last 3 weeks).One of the times (second) he was bitten pretty hard and this last time doesn't seem there was a struggle or anything - he was reading a book when a friend bit him in the arm. He has teeth marks on his forearm. 

While I understand biting is a normal toddler behavior, this is starting to concern me. I was wondering if other children are also being bit and if this is the case, what is (facility name) doing to address the situation. 

Thank you for your help. I am available to speak on the phone at  (Cell) or  (office). 

 
Mom.
 

Any thoughts 

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Re: Day care and biting

  • My opinion is it's no big deal.  Both the kids have been bitten at daycare.  Older LO has also bit a couple times.  He was bitten by the same child a couple times.  One time was fairly rough.  I chalk it up to kids being kids and I wouldn't go to the director about it, but that's just me.

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  • I wouldn't send a letter.  I doubt they would even tell you if other kids are being bit.  Yes it's frustrating when your child is being hurt, but it kind of come with daycare territory.  I'm sure they are trying to prevent it, but it's one of those situations that happen so fast.

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  • The first time LO bit someone it happened twice in one day. I asked the director about it, how to handle it and such, and the director told me that pretty much in the 18m-2yr room is happens all the time and they start to transition out of it around 2.5 years. It is pretty normal. I get zero up to five notices each week that LO either bit someone or got bit. As long as the skin isn't broken i wouldn't worry too much.
  • You can send the notice just so they're aware/you think it's excessive, but don't be surprised if they don't say much. They can't really.

    Also, don't be upset when they don't do much about it either. I used to work in a daycare room with the 18 months to 2 year olds and while we'd watch them like hawks biting still went down every day. It's what kids do and it's hard to be fast enough to stop them.

    My kid goes to a home daycare that's smaller than a center and she still gets bit constantly. On the good side, at least she knows it hurts, so she's only ever bit once.

  • Over reactioning in my opinion. My son has been bit more than I can count in the last 3 months ... 4 times this week alone. It's normal toddler behavior and I know my daycare is doing the best they can. Just wait your child to will become the biter at some point. My son went through a week of biting (only twice) and he got talked to and timeout at school. This weeks biter was out of control and they called the parents in to discuss.
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  • So my son gets bitten - a lot.  His absolute best friend in the daycare is a biter.  Daycare can't say who is doing the biting, but I first put it together when his dad and I were talking and he mentioned that they were having a problem with the kid biting.  And then DH saw it when they were playing this week after school.  

    Realistically, I know the daycare is doing everything in their power to prevent it.  And I know they talk to the kids about not biting.  And it seems to occur when the kids are fighting over toys, and I know daycare puts away the toys when the kids get crazy over them.  But I also see that it doesn't upset my son nearly as much as it upsets my husband.  Because this is his best friend - it doesn't seem to keep him from playing with the kid or avoiding him at all.  He makes a big deal about it - "Bite, owie" but it seems to be more for attention than anything else.  And as one of my DCPs pointed out, when she tries to separate they don't want to be separated, which makes her job harder.  They love each other.  Biting and all.

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  • Honestly surprised by all the 'you're overreacting' posts! That would upset me! I would have definitely said something. I thought your letter was well written. Good luck and hope it stops soon!
    amarie923
  • My LO is the one biting other kids...Not breaking the skin but I still feel horrible. She doesn't do it at home and the Teachers explained that she does it when someone is in her way or is trying to take something from her. That doesn't make it any better of course but we read books about biting and when she does it at DC they redirect her and tell her not to bite her friends.
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  • Honestly surprised by all the 'you're overreacting' posts! That would upset me! I would have definitely said something. I thought your letter was well written. Good luck and hope it stops soon!
    I agree! And I know toddlers will bite, kids are kids and it's going to happen and it may be my own child doing the biting one day.. but I would feel the same way and send the letter.  I think it's well written and doesn't come off as overreacting. Even if they can't do much about it, you're a concerned parent! 
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  • eyenigheyenigh
    250 Answers 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary
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    edited September 2013
    I would probably just skip the email and call the director instead. She may not be aware of a problem and perhaps there's a policy in place that isn't being enforced. Some daycares actually have serious no biting rules-- my husband's boss's daycare has a 3-bites-and-you're-out rule.
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  • Honestly surprised by all the 'you're overreacting' posts! That would upset me! I would have definitely said something. I thought your letter was well written. Good luck and hope it stops soon!
    No one is saying it's not upsetting but kids bite.  And three times in 4 months is honestly barely a blip on the radar.  It doesn't appear it's an ongoing issue.  Now, when a kid is getting bit a lot and it appears the providers aren't trying to work on a solution, that's an issue.  It takes a child a nano second to bite another kid and it's impossible for a provider to have two eyes on more than one child at a time.

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  • I think it's fine to send this. DD got bitten 3 times in her first 4 days in the non-infant room. The one day, she had two bite marks on her cheek. I absolutely talked to her teachers and the director about what was being done to help prevent it. I get that kids this age bite, but that doesn't mean my child needs to be everyone's chew toy.
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