September 2013 Moms

Weight and size of belly - unwelcome advice, grrrr

So I was at my mom's birthday celebration and this old lady came to me and asked how far along I was. I told her (at the time) 6 months. She looked at me with a shocking/judgemental face and said: "oh my... I think that baby is waaay too small. Because when I was 5 months pregnant, I was at least THIS MUCH", and started stretching her arm over to show me how much bigger she was then. 

Now, what is the purpose of such remarks? Do people think they are helping? 

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Re: Weight and size of belly - unwelcome advice, grrrr

  • I was in a wedding last week and the bride's SIL looked at me and said,"I had no idea you were pregnant. You're really small for 7 months." 

    I'm not a small woman, but I'm definitely pregnant. I was wearing a snug cotton maternity top at the time and it was pretty obvious. None of those comments ever help. Please...tell me I'm glowing.. :-)

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  • I love my next door neighbor but she did the same thing. When she looked at me and asked how far along I was and when I said 31 weeks, she said she thought I looked super small especially for number two. She then asked if the baby was moving a lot.
    Great just what I want to hear...

  • Since 4 or 5 months, people have been mentioning I look a lot further along than I really am. I was pulled out of line at the airport because the lady thought it was too late for me to be flying in my pregnancy. I was only 6 months. And my MIL had twins and was only the size of me at 5 months when she delivered. She could still hide her pregnancy at 5 months, which is insane with twins.
    ??
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    12 weeks 3 days


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  • I think they DO think they are helping! I get the "Oh I guessed you were 7 months by how miserable you look!"  ....thanks random stranger. 

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  • Yeah, people keep telling me they think I'll deliver early with how big I am/how I'm carrying.  I'm pretty much turning into a torpedo, all of my weight is in my belly...  but I don't need anyone to tell me how big I am.  Thanks. 
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  • People tell me all the time "I'm carrying really well"  most of the time I literally have to bite my tongue cause LO has been sitting on my spine since about 20 weeks.... And I'm sure they mean well but I really hate hearing that.... and " oh you don't even look pregnant from behind."  I'm like REALLY ...just hush.... 

    8 weeks....possibly 6  left..... come on September!!!


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  • People make the dumbest remarks, I just ignore them.

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  • emt16emt16
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    Totally with you guys. My ob even said I ak carrying small but everything is measuring on track. I am actually still wearing a lot of prepregnancy clothing.

    My neighbors still don't even realize I am pregnant and once we tell people they always say they never would have guessed. My husband and I joked yesterday that if something doesn't drastically change before I give birth that our one neighbor is going to this we adopted our daughter.
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  • I just started showing and I'm at 31 weeks already! I have been hearing for months, awwww you're not showing yet? So annoying.... Everyone is different!!!!! People just don't get it or think before they speak!
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  • I hate people and their unnecessary and pointless comments. 
    Liliana Seraphina born 9/5/2103


  • I think people just like making conversation and the easiest way to do so is with comparisons of themselves during their pregnancies or by stating their own expectations/observations. Everyone thinks how they looked or felt was normal and everyone should measure up to that, in my experience.

    It makes me laugh most of the time because I can just remind myself that people really have no idea what they're talking about. For example, around 22 weeks, in the same weekend, I had one friend tell me I look bigger than she expected, and another tell me I seemed small and must be carrying really well. So I tend to shrug off what people say. But I can see why it's frustrating when they say things that worry you.

    The thing that DOES annoy me, which I didn't expect, is that since we're team green, everyone and their dog has an opinion about whether it's a boy or a girl. I'm starting to think my husband and I are the only ones who don't have a "for sure feeling" one way or the other like everyone else in our lives. I don't know why it sometimes annoys me, but I think it's just the complete confidence that our baby is a girl (which is what most people seem to think). What if he isn't? Huh? They'll see. Haha. 

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  • I think people really have no clear concept of what size ranges are "normal" for different points in pregnancy. I had a friend of the family see pictures from my shower (June 8)  and say the doctors must be wrong about my due date (Sept 10), and that I will "definitely" have her in August. Because I'm "so big." I just laughed. My fundal height has been perfectly on track at every appointment and I had gained a whopping 6 pounds at that point. I'm overweight and have definitely had some weight redistribution in my pregnancy, so my belly is more than a 6 pound belly, but still. Pretty sure my doctor and I are able to predict my due date better than her!
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  • It happens to me, too. I am 31 weeks and have had people comment on how I look too small to be in 3rd trimester. I even went home and cried one time thinking my baby wasn't growing properly. My midwife told me to ignore the comments as I am measuring right where I should be. 
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  • image HBirdie:

    The thing that DOES annoy me, which I didn't expect, is that since we're team green, everyone and their dog has an opinion about whether it's a boy or a girl. I'm starting to think my husband and I are the only ones who don't have a "for sure feeling" one way or the other like everyone else in our lives. I don't know why it sometimes annoys me, but I think it's just the complete confidence that our baby is a girl (which is what most people seem to think). What if he isn't? Huh? They'll see. Haha. 

     THIS. We are team green also and everyone is so confident about it being a boy or girl. The other day my SIL texted me a picture of pink booties she bought, becuase she's "so sure" it's a girl. I don't know why it annoys me, but it does. Just like you, it seems like DH and I are the only two who aren't 100% confident about the gender...which I like to think is a sign of intelligence. ;) Nobody is psychic!  

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