Parenting

"Advanced Maternal Age"

I'm not sure what the reason is but ever since I turned 30, I've seemed to block out what my actual age is.  Last year we had a miscarriage and since then we're thinking maybe we'd ttc next year - but more likely two years from now.  I don't think I did the math, and now the thought of ttc at 35 scares me.  Not sure if it's because we already had problems, or because the dr's always comment "have them before you're 35".

What are your thoughts on this, ladies?  Did that magic number come into play and did you decide not to ttc after 35?  Or did you just figure there were some increased risks but not enough to prevent you from trying? 

And seriously, would someone please explain how time moved so fast b/c it seems like I was just spending my 20s trying not to get pregnant and now somehow I have to hurry up if I want more kids? WTH?

Background: Dx with PCOS 11/08. IUI #1 w/follitsim and trigger = B/G Twins, born 8/09 at 33 weeks. TTC #3. Round 2 of Letrozole and TI. BFP Due June 7, 2013 Diagnosed with missed miscarriage 10/30/2012 at 8 1/2 wks.
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Re: "Advanced Maternal Age"

  • I would like to have one more child, it will be after I am 35. I'm not worried about it.
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  • I'm 36 and one and done due to circumstantial factors. I had my DD at 33 and at the time was planning to have another in a few years. I would have no problem getting pregnant past 35 though. Its different than being, say 42 and TTC. GL to you with your decision!
  • I'm probably one of the oldest on this board, and I was 38 when I had DS. My pregnancy was easy. PP was not. 

    The best part of AMA is you get additional ultrasounds and appointments (which was covered by our insurance) so you get a lot of pictures. Smile

    I'm sorry about the m/c last year. GL to you guys! 

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  • I had N at 37 after 3 1/2 years of trying.  That said, the issues were not mine (we are MFI) and my pregnancy could not have been easier.  Sure, overall there may be some increased risks (for people over 35 as a general rule, I mean) but I wouldn't worry too much.  We are TTC now and I'm almost 40 and I'm not concerned.
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  • I think they're considering increasing AMA? Don't quote me on that.
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  • EVA116EVA116
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    I am done after this one because of my age, but not because I think about risks or that it is too old to have one......

    I just want my kids out of the house by the time I am a certain age....so just for selfish reasons, I guess. :)

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  • I feel a lot like you.

    I am 33 and we would like at least one more, possibly two.  We are trying now, but if I wasn't already 33 I would maybe wait another year.  If we want 2 more I will almost definitely be over 35 for at least one pregnancy and birth.  I have already had 2 early losses, so I am afraid to experience another.

    On the other hand, I live in an area that delayed marriage and motherhood is the norm, so many of my similarly aged friends have yet to have their first.

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  • suv75suv75
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    I was 34 when I conceived my first and 35 when I delivered. It was a relatively easy pregnancy except for nausea and vomiting first tri and the usual 3rd tri aches and pains. I'm 37 now and expecting no.2 in Aug. This pregnancy is sooooooo much rougher. Not sure if age, having a 2 yr old to take care of, or because later pregnancies are known to be tougher. Probably a combo of all three!

    Ideally, would have loved to start earlier and be done earlier, but didn't work out timing wise. It's hard chasing kids around the older you get.
  • It's just an age that statistically many women's fertility drops dramatically so it can be harder to get pregnant and the quality of the eggs can be diminished creating a higher chance for chromosomal abnormalities such as Down Syndrome.  I'm sure there's a higher risk of complications during pregnancy yada yada.  Anyway, there is nothing magic about turning 35 and they can do some testing to determine your actual reproductive health and age to see if you're going to have trouble conceiving etc...  I don't like the concept of applying a hard age to all these risk factors but I guess it's based on the numbers.  

    I was 36 when I gave birth for the first time.  I didn't really worry about this magic number as I was doing my family planning.  However, all the women on both sides of my family go into menopause really late (late 50s early 60's).  And all the women on both sides of my family have had healthy babies in their 40's.  So I guess I felt like I had genetics on my side as far as the biological clock was concerned.  Now if my mother had gone through menopause in her 30's I may have taken a different approach.  As far as the concern for increased risk of chromosomal defects, I know a woman who had her first child at 23 and he is a beautiful boy with Down Syndrome.  Sure the risk increases as we age, but I don't think that it's enough of an increased risk to have children before you're ready in order to avoid it.   

    I give up trying to get a ticker.  I have a DD that is 2.5 years old and is awesome.  Maybe I'll add a quote to distinguish myself.  Hmmm.  How about...

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  • My mom had my brother when she was 36.  He is the one of the top 5 humans I know.

    My MIL had my DH when she was 37... he's the best human I know.

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  • image krptcmschfmkr128:
    I think they're considering increasing AMA? Don't quote me on that.

    Quoted....

     

     

     

     

    Sorry... I had to... lame jokes are my strong suit.

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  • image nancy30005:

    I'm probably one of the oldest on this board, and I was 38 when I had DS. My pregnancy was easy. PP was not. 

    The best part of AMA is you get additional ultrasounds and appointments (which was covered by our insurance) so you get a lot of pictures. Smile

    I'm sorry about the m/c last year. GL to you guys! 

    This is a good point.  I didn't take advantage of all the prenatal testing offered to me, but when you're over 35, you don't have to argue with the insurance company for anything pregnancy related.  If you want a test done for ease of mind, it's automatically approved. 

    I give up trying to get a ticker.  I have a DD that is 2.5 years old and is awesome.  Maybe I'll add a quote to distinguish myself.  Hmmm.  How about...

    "It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?" - A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
  • image HilarityEnsued:

    image krptcmschfmkr128:
    I think they're considering increasing AMA? Don't quote me on that.

    Quoted....

     

     

     

     

    Sorry... I had to... lame jokes are my strong suit.

    Lol you know what I meant.

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  • I had DD1 at 34 and DD2 at 36. Pregnancy sucked for me because I was sick the entire time, not due to age. Other than that, the only difference between the two was the genetic counseling they made me do. I refused the gestational diabetes on the second go around, but that has nothing to do with age.

    I do think that in your thirties you don't have the energy you did in your twenties, but I was in no way ready to have children in my twenties.

    I hated the way they threw the term AMA around like it was an actual condition. I say go for it.

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  • I just turned 30, but I plan to TTC our second next year via FET or if need be, another IVF. My RE also strongly encourages being done before 35 if you have the option.

    Because of this, and the fact that I want my LO's close in age, I plan on being out of the baby making game before 35.

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  • For my actual answer though, yes, it weighs into my considerations, but not as the final decision maker (if that makes sense).  We are going to TTC the next LO early next year so I'll be 31 or 32 when he/she arrives.  I would really like a third (right now I feel that way) and DH really isn't sold on 3.  We have agreed to table the discussion on potential baby 3 until the time comes around to TTC him/her. 

    For us, assuming another 3ish year age gap, that would put me right at 35, and DH would be 36/37.  

    Also, I've heard a lot of the factors of having kids older come from issues with older sperm, not older eggs.  

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  • image HilarityEnsued:

    For my actual answer though, yes, it weighs into my considerations, but not as the final decision maker (if that makes sense).  We are going to TTC the next LO early next year so I'll be 31 or 32 when he/she arrives.  I would really like a third (right now I feel that way) and DH really isn't sold on 3.  We have agreed to table the discussion on potential baby 3 until the time comes around to TTC him/her. 

    For us, assuming another 3ish year age gap, that would put me right at 35, and DH would be 36/37.  

    Also, I've heard a lot of the factors of having kids older come from issues with older sperm, not older eggs.  

    Men are constantly producing sperm. So this applies to sperm that's "old" as in you haven't had sex for a while, not relating to your husband's age. The longer between sex, the less live sperm your DH will have. 

     

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  • image Helenahhandbasket:

    I feel a lot like you.

    I am 33 and we would like at least one more, possibly two.  We are trying now, but if I wasn't already 33 I would maybe wait another year.  If we want 2 more I will almost definitely be over 35 for at least one pregnancy and birth.  I have already had 2 early losses, so I am afraid to experience another.

    On the other hand, I live in an area that delayed marriage and motherhood is the norm, so many of my similarly aged friends have yet to have their first.

    It's very normal here too.  I was the youngest in my Mom's Group at 31 when I had DD (I am 32 now.)  If we do end up wanting 2 more kids, I will definitely be over 35 for the last one.

    Edit:  I just realized I was 30 when I had DD.  Apparently I can't keep track of my age either.

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  • image krptcmschfmkr128:
    image HilarityEnsued:

    Also, I've heard a lot of the factors of having kids older come from issues with older sperm, not older eggs.  

    Men are constantly producing sperm. So this applies to sperm that's "old" as in you haven't had sex for a while, not relating to your husband's age. The longer between sex, the less live sperm your DH will have. 

    Right, I didn't mean old sperm as in... has been marinating in the balls for a long time, I meant sperm produced (even day-of-boning) by older men.

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  • I'm 34 but finished with babies after this one.

    I just escaped the AMA designation but that didn't factor into our TTC plans or schedule, per se. We just didn't want to be chasing little kids in our 40's and I wanted to be all done with the really work intensive early years sooner rather than later.

    This pregnancy has been a bit rougher than the previous one, however, and I can't help but wonder if my being older has to do with that or has contribued to the blood pressure issues I have had. I wonder if I were like 24 instead of 34 would this be an issue? No way to tell, really. After all, there are plenty of 20-somethings with way worse complications than I have had so it's not a guarentee of an easy pregnancy.

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  • image HilarityEnsued:
    image krptcmschfmkr128:
    image HilarityEnsued:

    Also, I've heard a lot of the factors of having kids older come from issues with older sperm, not older eggs.  

    Men are constantly producing sperm. So this applies to sperm that's "old" as in you haven't had sex for a while, not relating to your husband's age. The longer between sex, the less live sperm your DH will have. 

    Right, I didn't mean old sperm as in... has been marinating in the balls for a long time, I meant sperm produced (even day-of-boning) by older men.

    Lol I think we're backwards here. But either way, the man's age doesn't come into concern until they're much older than a woman's age of "concern." You learn these things on TTGP.

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  • I just turned 30 and was hoping to be done having kids by now. We started talking about having one more 2 or 3 years from now. I guess what I'm saying is life doesn't go as planned and you adapt. Modern medicine allows more monitoring and I think it's a matter of personal choice. If you really want more kids, go for it!
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  • I am 33 right now and we would like to have one more.  But I, too, have decided that at 35, I am done having kids.  For me personally, I know many women have babies well into their 40's but it's just not for me.  

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  • I'm 32 and pregnant with our 3rd in 3 years.

    Age a little bit of a factor for me.  I don't feel super urgent about it, but I know that we're not done having kids and I feel like the sooner the better.

    But I have a little bit different situation.  I have past fertility issues that seem to have resolved themselves, but they're still in the back of my mind, and my little brother has Down Syndrome. 

    My mom was of advanced maternal age when she had my brother (41), but the fact that I have such a close blood relative with it does cause me a little concern.

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  • I'm 32 right now and most likely I'll be 35+ when I actually have kids.

    It's not what I wanted, but it's my reality. 

  • Thanks for the responses because I was curious how other people approached this.  My mom was 44 when I was born, but I wasn't planned.  My oldest sister was 38 for her first and 40 when her second was born.  I went my whole life thinking there would be no issue getting pregnant even if I waited.  I don't blame my fertility issues on my age, but having gone through the miscarriage last year I think that I am a little more nervous about the risk factors as I get older. 
    Background: Dx with PCOS 11/08. IUI #1 w/follitsim and trigger = B/G Twins, born 8/09 at 33 weeks. TTC #3. Round 2 of Letrozole and TI. BFP Due June 7, 2013 Diagnosed with missed miscarriage 10/30/2012 at 8 1/2 wks.
  • trizzietrizzie
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    I am a lurker here, but I am ttc #3 and I am 36. My doctor told me that 40 is the new 35 and has promised never to use the term AMA around me. ;)
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  • image trizzie:
    I am a lurker here, but I am ttc #3 and I am 36. My doctor told me that 40 is the new 35 and has promised never to use the term AMA around me. ;)

     Love this!  

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  • image krptcmschfmkr128:

    Lol I think we're backwards here. But either way, the man's age doesn't come into concern until they're much older than a woman's age of "concern." You learn these things on TTGP.

    Maybe not with achieving pregnancy, but there are some studies pointing to increases in the rates of autism and even schizophrenia and "older" dads.

    http://archpsyc.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=668208

    http://www.nature.com/news/fathers-bequeath-more-mutations-as-they-age-1.11247

     http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/23/health/fathers-age-is-linked-to-risk-of-autism-and-schizophrenia.html?_r=0

     

     

     

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