Parenting

"Advanced Maternal Age"

I'm not sure what the reason is but ever since I turned 30, I've seemed to block out what my actual age is.  Last year we had a miscarriage and since then we're thinking maybe we'd ttc next year - but more likely two years from now.  I don't think I did the math, and now the thought of ttc at 35 scares me.  Not sure if it's because we already had problems, or because the dr's always comment "have them before you're 35".

What are your thoughts on this, ladies?  Did that magic number come into play and did you decide not to ttc after 35?  Or did you just figure there were some increased risks but not enough to prevent you from trying? 

And seriously, would someone please explain how time moved so fast b/c it seems like I was just spending my 20s trying not to get pregnant and now somehow I have to hurry up if I want more kids? WTH?

*Siggy Warning*

About me  2007: Started TTC. 2008: OB prescribed clomid, went to RE and was Dx with PCOS. 2009: IUI #1 w/follitsim and trigger = BFP. B/G Twins born at 33 weeks. 2012: TTC #3, Round 2 of Letrozole w/TI = BFP, missed m/c at 8 1/2 wks. Currently on the bench as we make plans for a new home. Anxious to start TTC #3 within the next year!

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Re: "Advanced Maternal Age"

  • I'm 36 and one and done due to circumstantial factors. I had my DD at 33 and at the time was planning to have another in a few years. I would have no problem getting pregnant past 35 though. Its different than being, say 42 and TTC. GL to you with your decision!
  • I'm probably one of the oldest on this board, and I was 38 when I had DS. My pregnancy was easy. PP was not. 

    The best part of AMA is you get additional ultrasounds and appointments (which was covered by our insurance) so you get a lot of pictures. Smile

    I'm sorry about the m/c last year. GL to you guys! 

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  • I had N at 37 after 3 1/2 years of trying.  That said, the issues were not mine (we are MFI) and my pregnancy could not have been easier.  Sure, overall there may be some increased risks (for people over 35 as a general rule, I mean) but I wouldn't worry too much.  We are TTC now and I'm almost 40 and I'm not concerned.
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  • EVA116EVA116 member

    I am done after this one because of my age, but not because I think about risks or that it is too old to have one......

    I just want my kids out of the house by the time I am a certain age....so just for selfish reasons, I guess. :)

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  • I feel a lot like you.

    I am 33 and we would like at least one more, possibly two.  We are trying now, but if I wasn't already 33 I would maybe wait another year.  If we want 2 more I will almost definitely be over 35 for at least one pregnancy and birth.  I have already had 2 early losses, so I am afraid to experience another.

    On the other hand, I live in an area that delayed marriage and motherhood is the norm, so many of my similarly aged friends have yet to have their first.

     

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  • EVA116EVA116 member

    FYI I am 31

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  • suv75suv75 member
    I was 34 when I conceived my first and 35 when I delivered. It was a relatively easy pregnancy except for nausea and vomiting first tri and the usual 3rd tri aches and pains. I'm 37 now and expecting no.2 in Aug. This pregnancy is sooooooo much rougher. Not sure if age, having a 2 yr old to take care of, or because later pregnancies are known to be tougher. Probably a combo of all three!

    Ideally, would have loved to start earlier and be done earlier, but didn't work out timing wise. It's hard chasing kids around the older you get.
  • It's just an age that statistically many women's fertility drops dramatically so it can be harder to get pregnant and the quality of the eggs can be diminished creating a higher chance for chromosomal abnormalities such as Down Syndrome.  I'm sure there's a higher risk of complications during pregnancy yada yada.  Anyway, there is nothing magic about turning 35 and they can do some testing to determine your actual reproductive health and age to see if you're going to have trouble conceiving etc...  I don't like the concept of applying a hard age to all these risk factors but I guess it's based on the numbers.  

    I was 36 when I gave birth for the first time.  I didn't really worry about this magic number as I was doing my family planning.  However, all the women on both sides of my family go into menopause really late (late 50s early 60's).  And all the women on both sides of my family have had healthy babies in their 40's.  So I guess I felt like I had genetics on my side as far as the biological clock was concerned.  Now if my mother had gone through menopause in her 30's I may have taken a different approach.  As far as the concern for increased risk of chromosomal defects, I know a woman who had her first child at 23 and he is a beautiful boy with Down Syndrome.  Sure the risk increases as we age, but I don't think that it's enough of an increased risk to have children before you're ready in order to avoid it.   

    I give up trying to get a ticker.  I have a DD that is 2.5 years old and is awesome.  Maybe I'll add a quote to distinguish myself.  Hmmm.  How about...

    "It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?" - A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
  • imagenancy30005:

    I'm probably one of the oldest on this board, and I was 38 when I had DS. My pregnancy was easy. PP was not. 

    The best part of AMA is you get additional ultrasounds and appointments (which was covered by our insurance) so you get a lot of pictures. Smile

    I'm sorry about the m/c last year. GL to you guys! 

    This is a good point.  I didn't take advantage of all the prenatal testing offered to me, but when you're over 35, you don't have to argue with the insurance company for anything pregnancy related.  If you want a test done for ease of mind, it's automatically approved. 

    I give up trying to get a ticker.  I have a DD that is 2.5 years old and is awesome.  Maybe I'll add a quote to distinguish myself.  Hmmm.  How about...

    "It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?" - A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
  • I had DD1 at 34 and DD2 at 36. Pregnancy sucked for me because I was sick the entire time, not due to age. Other than that, the only difference between the two was the genetic counseling they made me do. I refused the gestational diabetes on the second go around, but that has nothing to do with age.

    I do think that in your thirties you don't have the energy you did in your twenties, but I was in no way ready to have children in my twenties.

    I hated the way they threw the term AMA around like it was an actual condition. I say go for it.

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  • I just turned 30, but I plan to TTC our second next year via FET or if need be, another IVF. My RE also strongly encourages being done before 35 if you have the option.

    Because of this, and the fact that I want my LO's close in age, I plan on being out of the baby making game before 35.
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  • imageHelenahhandbasket:

    I feel a lot like you.

    I am 33 and we would like at least one more, possibly two.  We are trying now, but if I wasn't already 33 I would maybe wait another year.  If we want 2 more I will almost definitely be over 35 for at least one pregnancy and birth.  I have already had 2 early losses, so I am afraid to experience another.

    On the other hand, I live in an area that delayed marriage and motherhood is the norm, so many of my similarly aged friends have yet to have their first.

    It's very normal here too.  I was the youngest in my Mom's Group at 31 when I had DD (I am 32 now.)  If we do end up wanting 2 more kids, I will definitely be over 35 for the last one.

    Edit:  I just realized I was 30 when I had DD.  Apparently I can't keep track of my age either.

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  • I just turned 30 and was hoping to be done having kids by now. We started talking about having one more 2 or 3 years from now. I guess what I'm saying is life doesn't go as planned and you adapt. Modern medicine allows more monitoring and I think it's a matter of personal choice. If you really want more kids, go for it!
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                               photo photosig3_zps92919c91.jpg Just said good bye Sept. 19th (MMC at 12 weeks)
  • I'm 32 and pregnant with our 3rd in 3 years.

    Age a little bit of a factor for me.  I don't feel super urgent about it, but I know that we're not done having kids and I feel like the sooner the better.

    But I have a little bit different situation.  I have past fertility issues that seem to have resolved themselves, but they're still in the back of my mind, and my little brother has Down Syndrome. 

    My mom was of advanced maternal age when she had my brother (41), but the fact that I have such a close blood relative with it does cause me a little concern.

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  • I'm 32 right now and most likely I'll be 35+ when I actually have kids.

    It's not what I wanted, but it's my reality. 

  • Thanks for the responses because I was curious how other people approached this.  My mom was 44 when I was born, but I wasn't planned.  My oldest sister was 38 for her first and 40 when her second was born.  I went my whole life thinking there would be no issue getting pregnant even if I waited.  I don't blame my fertility issues on my age, but having gone through the miscarriage last year I think that I am a little more nervous about the risk factors as I get older. 

    *Siggy Warning*

    About me  2007: Started TTC. 2008: OB prescribed clomid, went to RE and was Dx with PCOS. 2009: IUI #1 w/follitsim and trigger = BFP. B/G Twins born at 33 weeks. 2012: TTC #3, Round 2 of Letrozole w/TI = BFP, missed m/c at 8 1/2 wks. Currently on the bench as we make plans for a new home. Anxious to start TTC #3 within the next year!

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  • trizzietrizzie member
    I am a lurker here, but I am ttc #3 and I am 36. My doctor told me that 40 is the new 35 and has promised never to use the term AMA around me. ;)
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  • imagetrizzie:
    I am a lurker here, but I am ttc #3 and I am 36. My doctor told me that 40 is the new 35 and has promised never to use the term AMA around me. ;)

     Love this!  

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  • I was 30 when I was pg with my first - it took us 6 months and I was induced due to pre-e.  When we finally got around to conceiving our 2nd (I was 36), it took us one month and I didn't have any pg issues.  I could tell the difference between my pgs but I don't know if it was b/c he was 2 lbs heavier than my dd or my age but my back was killing me. 

    I agree with pp's - 35 is not a magic number.  It just happens to be the age when risks go up.  The only additional care I rec'd was an ultrasound at 36-38 weeks and NSTs starting at 36 weeks. My doctor did have opinions on how long to let an AMA mom go and was totally OK with inducing me at 39 weeks.  That's a whole other story, though.

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  • I had DS1 when I was 38 and DS2 when I was 40.

    They are close together partly because of my age.

    I did not get additional scans or anything because of my age, my pregnancies, labours and deliveries were easy/trouble free.

    For me it was either try now or not try at all.  We started trying for kids when I was 36 or 37.

    promised myself I'd retire when I turned gold, and yet here I am
  • It's definitely in the back of my mind.

    I'm 29. We hope to have two more, but with 2u2 now, we want to wait a few years. Realistically, I'll probably want to ttc 3 and 4 between age 31 and 35.

    I don't think I'd ttc after 35. My first kid? Yeah, sure. Maybe even my second. But I don't see myself having baby 3 or baby 4 after 35. So hopefully it happens when we want, but if not I am 10000000 percent content with my family as is.
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  • I had DD at 34. I'm 36 now. We might TTC#2 later this year, or we might me one and done. My age isn't the reason for possibly being OAD, though.

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  • imageBootsyLou:

    imagetrizzie:
    I am a lurker here, but I am ttc #3 and I am 36. My doctor told me that 40 is the new 35 and has promised never to use the term AMA around me. ;)

     Love this!  

    My doctor told me the same thing when I had S. Other than age, no other risk factors. AMA can suck it. I actually found it easier the last go around, despite having a baby elephant.
  • I would like to be done by 35. I had my kids at 31 and 32 and we would like one more.
    I have a couple of high risk factors regardless of age though and feel like I don't need to throw the statistic of AMA into the mix. Other than that....no reason to speed stuff up, IMO.
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  • Mentally, I've already decided I want to be finished having kids by 35.  I find all the pregnancy "stuff" - including the poking and prodding - stressful enough as it is, and don't need to be adding any kind of "high risk" or AMA components to the mix.  I think it would be too much for me to cope with, especially as there's enough to worry about when you have a regular, low-risk pregnancy.

    I'm really basing my decision heavily on my mom but I would like to finish the child-bearing phase of my life within the next three years (she was 30 and 33 when she had my brother and I, and that seemed to work out relatively well)... IF we decide to have a second.

    Part of me wishes I'd finished this "having kids" business before reaching 30, but mentally I wasn't ready.   

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