# of future children?

docamy2011

So far it hasn't......we both still want 2!

spencerlynne

We want three. I've always wanted 3-4, DH only wanted 1 because he grew up in a family of 6 kids and HATED it. Once he saw that family can be different he upped it to 3. We had DS, would like to have one more biologically and then adopt from China in around 5 years.

Jska40

My loss has definitely changed my outlook on this topic. DH is an only child, and I am a middle child. When we first discussed children, DH put his foot down and said at least two, because he hated being an only child. I agreed as long as it was no more than two.

Now, after our loss, things have kind of flopped. DH has mentioned several times that one would be enough and I am now realizing that I don't care how many, as long as they are healthy and here with us.

I also used to make na?ve, immature comments about us only having boys because I wouldn't know what to do with a girl. Looking back, I wish someone would have slapped me silly to make me realize how ridiculous that was.

Jska40

PatientlyWaiting10:

DD Ment. 

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Growing up I always said I wanted four children.  I was a middle child and hated it so I knew I didn't want there to be a middle person.  When DH and I were starting to get serious about dating we talked about kids and he has always wanted two so we decided to stick with two.  After our third loss, the first after DD was born, DH said he would be ok with not having any more kids...  I took the loss so hard DH never wanted to see me that way again.  Now with having four losses and trying for so long I'm not sure we will have another one.  It absolutely BREAKS my heart to think we might never have a sibling for DD because she frequently talks about her "brother" and asks for a sister.  (We don't know what any of our losses are and have not talked openly to our DD about them so it always makes me tear up hearing her say "her brother".)

Sorry, that got long and kind of turned into a Pity Party for me...  Just been a tough week and emotions are high...   

 

((hugs)) that's got to be hard to hear.

SuzyQq02

We would still both like 2 children if it works out that way. We're both open to adoption should bio kids not be our path, but I'm not sure how it would effect our decision if we had one bio child and were unable to have another. I would be worried about the one and one dynamic and would at that point consider either stopping with one or adopting a sibling group and having 3.

Roxycc55

Depends on the day. I worry about being pregnant 3 more times, and having some losses on the way. I guess it will depend how the next one goes, and then the one after that. If I had more trouble, I would not want more than two, or one if that was too hard as well.

toomanycats1

DS Mentioned...

Up until last year we were really content with DS and we thought we might only have the one child.  Then last year we decided to have 1 more because DS was getting older and he was starting to ask for a sibling.  (We also wanted to go through the experience one more time).  We knew I had fertility concerns though, so we decided "if it happens it happens".    

Now that we've had the mc though, I feel more determined that ever that we have a 2nd child, whether it be through biology or adoption.  I also wonder now if I might want to go ahead and have 3 kids.  

If I'm blessed enough to have 1 more though, I'll be happy :-)

SoxFan777

Junebug060609:

Yes. DS mentioned Before the first pregnancy we'd thought 3. Now we would be thrilled with 2 and content [blessed beyond words, really] with the one we have. Having already had a loss before DS we've always been incredibly thankful for him. As each month goes on TTC after this loss we realize more and more what a miracle he is. ETA:My age is a big reason why it has changed our number. If I were 26 instead of 36 it probably wouldn't have changed.

DS Mentioned, too.

I agree wtih you... I originally wanted 3, but now after my most recent loss I'm becoming more open to the idea of having just one, since he's so awesome.  I don't want to be selfish with the universe...  We will try again, though. 

Also, I was always so ADAMENT about wanting to adopt, but two things have impacted my choice: 1) it's so, so expensive and I'd really want an infant, 2) DH isn't pro-adoption since we do have 1 kid.  He said he'd be open to it if we didn't have any.

LydsieMarie7

We want 4 kids still. Not sure if we'll do 2 biological and 2 adopted from the local orphanage or if we'll try for 4 biological? DH really would like to adopt a deaf child because he's hard of hearing himself and we do a lot of volunteer work with the local deaf school.

Lauren659

No, if anything it reinforces I want a bigger family [at least 3, but id love more]. I also have realized I'll start trying earlier between my kids because nothing is guaranteed.

doglover31

Its changed mine....before DH and I wanted 2. Now I think I will be happy if we can have just 1. Later on that might change but its hard for me to picture a big family when we are struggling to have just one baby.

ksyknelvr73

I don't really think so...although it has pushed me to consider adoption. We really want 3 kids but I am not sure I can handle the stress of TTC and worrying about loss over and over. If I can have 2 healthy kids on my own I think we will seriously consider adoption for a 3rd, if we can afford it. I haven't researched it enough to really know yet.