Short version: I'm pretty sure there's still a baby in there and wow, enemas really work woders when you need them.
Longer version: 5 hours in the ER last night which was a total waste of time. I had really bad abdominal cramping and pressure including shoulder pain, which is why we were worried about ectopic. Blood work was all fine and everyone there was pretty much useless. We never even saw a doctor, just nurses.
I went to my OB appointment this morning and after much poking and prodding, hemming and hawing, they decided all my discomfort was likely due to extreme constipation (it's been 4 days or so since I've gone). They suggested trying an enema. I also got all my bloodwork and pap smear out of the way while I was there. I didn't want an ultrasound so she couldn't rule out ectopic but she said without any bleeding, it's probably not likely. My uterus is soft as it should be for pregnancy.
As far as anyone can tell, I'm still knocked up and the nurse reminded us, no pregnancy ends without a heck of a lot of bleeding so if that hasn't happened, just assume everything is ok.
So far the enema seems to have done the trick (I'll spare you the gory details).
So yes, all of this pain and anxiety was probably caused by shiit. If you've ever had the urge to tell me I'm full of shiit, you were probably right.
Thank you all for the T&Ps and for worrying about me. I was worried about me too, but I think everything is going to be ok. Patience and faith. Patience and faith.