March 2013 Moms

Seriously Ladies, how often

do you and DH have sex?

I just do not understand why people look at me and my DH so crazy because we do not have a lot of sex.  In all honesty we have had sex 4 confirmed times and 1 time in question in 2012.  Other ladies hear that and they look at me like I am not telling the truth.  Like that is something to brag about.  Sex has never been a huge interest for me in any relationship I have had. It never has and i am sure at this point never will. 

Is it true.  Are all these ladies around me having sex 2x a week? 



Re: Seriously Ladies, how often

  • DH and I have sex maybe 45 times a week. I don't think it's strange that you don't.. I mean, everyone has their thoughts/feelings about it. If your hubby doesn't mind then no harm.

    ETA: Stupid bump mobile. It took out my hyphen! Lol. 4 TO 5 times a week!! Not 45! My goodness.
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  • 1-2 per week pre-pregnancy. In the last 17 weeks, we have only done it once. I'm high risk so we are being careful.

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  • Before getting KU?  3-4 times per week.  Now, I am on pelvic rest so it's not at all.  :(  But there are other ways to enjoy ourselves... 

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  • Normally 3-4 a month. I've never been super interested in it either, always had a low drive. It's been even worse because of IVF and all the lovely things that come with it. We just had sex yesterday for the second time since I've been pregnant. TMI: besides, the positions that feel best for me, make DH go a lot faster so I think it's pointless on my end.

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  • average three times per week. we've been together 13 years and have a daughter and this has pretty much always been our average. i initiate more than DH does though, he would be fine with twice a week b/c he works super long hours. i would probably like four times per week. to each his own though - if it works for you and you're both happy then why worry
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  • I'd say on average 2x a week pre-pregnancy. But there would be certain times where it was a lot more, like 4x a week (I think it depended on where I was in my cycle the week after my period was my "active" week) . But now we are down to once a week b/c after work and cleaning house I'm just too tired to be into it. It's usually just on the week-ends now.
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  • image covertxxamour:
    DH and I have sex maybe 45 times a week. I don't think it's strange that you don't.. I mean, everyone has their thoughts/feelings about it. If your hubby doesn't mind then no harm. ETA: Stupid bump mobile. It took out my hyphen! Lol. 4 TO 5 times a week!! Not 45! My goodness.

    OMG when i started reading this i thought 45 times? do they have jobs or leave their bedroom ever LOL  thanks for the laugh

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  • i would say an average of once a wk, he works out of town all wk too so that might contribute to it but i doubt we will do it any more often once he is laid off
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  • image covertxxamour:
    ETA: Stupid bump mobile. It took out my hyphen! Lol. 4 TO 5 times a week!! Not 45! My goodness.

    Lol, I think my jaw dropped there for a moment when I read that!

    If you and your DH are fine with the amount of sex you are having, try not to let other people make you feel bad. 

    DH has a much higher drive than I do. If it were up to him, we'd have sex every day. I'd totally be fine with once a week. I try to compromise and we average about 2-3 times a week. It's been hard for me lately because I'm so exhausted when we go to bed.

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  • I agree with everyone else that as long as you both are on the same page, I don't think the amount of times you do it compared to others should matter. 

    As for us, we typically have sex 3-4 times a week.  We go through phases though.  There have been times were we do it 5 times a week then others where it is once a week. I think it depends on our work schedules and mood that week.

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  • We're at 2-3 times a week, but DH would like more. We work opposite schedules though, which makes it difficult!
  • We average about once a month. I would blame DS, but we've always been at about that frequency.

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  • Before pregnancy, 1-2 times a week. Since being pregnant, 3 times. I had no sex drive the first tri...
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  • Pre-pregnancy about 2-3 times a week. Since becoming pregnant probably about once maybe twice a week.

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  • We were actively trying for 6 months, so about 5-6 times per week.  Now that my hubby works away from home 1-2 weeks at a time, it's 2-3 times per week when he is home. 
  • about 3 times / wk pre-pregnancy

    about 2 times / wk during this pregnancy. I am exhausted from working and having a toddler. 

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  • Well DH and I both have pretty high sex drives. Since I have hit my second tri it has been much higher. He works 12 hr shifts on a weird schedule so we only see each other t bed time maybe 2 days out the week but I know then that its going to happen. Sometimes I wake him up in the middle of the night. On the weekends he is off...on there is nit enough time for counting.

    As long as both of you are comfortable with doing it as little as you are, then everything is Aok!
  • I am just here to say amen to what everyone else is saying. There is NO reason for others to judge your sexual relationship with your DH! It is one of my favorite parts of my relationship with my Hubbs for the exact reason that it seems sometimes it is the only part of life that is exclusive to us...and only us!

    As long as both people are happy...why should I care how many times, or how long, or when it happens!

    I will share that my other pregnancies seemed to kick my drive into overdrive...but not so this time. I struggling to want any sexual contact. Thankful I have a loving patient hubbs who knows Thar pregnancy only last for a short while and we will be back to our old selves ;
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  • We used to have a lot of sex, but after DD was born my labido tanked.  Recently it's been about once a week, but were SO tired and there never seems to be a good time.  When we went on our honeymoon and actually spent some time together without a toddler, we had sex all week!

     We've also decided to not have sex the rest of the pregnancy, due to me being high risk now.  My OB never said we had to stop but we just both agreed that we don't want to take *any* chances.  I'd really like to get to the point where we have sex 3x a week after this LO, it's just so hard when your exhausted all the time!

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  • Pre-pregnancy 3-4x a week, sometimes daily. Now with my severe morning sickness, we're lucky if I can tolerate 1x a week (last two times I stood up and immediately puked). DH has a high drive, mine is up there... but his has gotten higher since he's started working a non-desk job.
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  • 1-2 times a week (sometimes a little more). I'm honestly still dealing with m/s and sometimes it is uncomfortable to have sex for me. We have sex mainly because I feel badly about it. He doesn't pressure me or even pout. It just isn't like pre-pregnancy so I initiate sex even when I'm not in the mood for it.
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  • Pre-pregnancy it was maybe 2 times per week (when we were not TTC) if Hubs was not out of town for work.

    Since being pregnant, I think it has been 3 or 4 times. Nausea and my evening "personal space bubble" are not conducive to lovin'.

  • As long as you and H are satisfied, then it doesn't matter. H and I averaged 1x a week pre pregnancy. We work opposite shifts, so usually on weekends. Now, however I am sooo tired I don't have the energy. Its probably close to 1x a month now! I'd like more, as I'm sure he would but I'm just so tired.

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  • I would say we average 2 times per week. I think if you're both satisfied with 4-5 times per year, that is all that matters. The only thing I will say, I think for us at least, is that the physical connection keeps that emotional connection stronger. I know when we're in a good pattern, we're a lot nicer to each other. ;)
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  • pre-pregnancy 1-2 times a week, now 0 since I'm on pelvic rest :(
  • pre-pregnancy, about once a week. Now, it's about once every other week. We both say we'd like to do it more often, but I think in some ways we're just lazy/tired.
  • We have sex maybe once a week - but it has always been like that because we both work full-time and we have a very crazy schedule. i feel like i havent been as "sexy: lately but i feel like im just getting bigger and bigger so i'm very self-conscious. i will say, on our honeymoon (when i got pregnant) we had sex 12 times in 6 days - that was a RECORD for us! no really surprised i got prego!

    just make sure your hubby knows you love him ;) 

  • I'm on the low end too (and always have been), for those of you out there feeling like crap for having no sex drive :(  I've always been super-sensitive down there (sex has always been uncomfortable) .. and it's just never been a big part of our relationship (which he says is just fine, but it still bothers me).

    We haven't had sex since getting pregnant as I'm now concerned DH is going to "bump" my cervix if we try, and I worry about spotting.  I was always at my most excitable when I was ovulating though, which hasn't happened in 4 mos., so what do you expect?!  I DO keep trying to muster the courage to surprise him in bed one night though, but it hasn't happened yet! 

    I think DH is just so deliriously happy that we're having a baby, that he hardly cares about the lack of sex.  Nobody would even have any clue that we weren't going at it like rabbits judging by the way he dotes on me now.  I do still make an effort to show him I care in bed, but in a way that's not so uncomfortable for me :)  

    Great thread, I feel like it's putting a lot of people's insecurities to rest! 


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  • Pre-pregnancy we had sex 3-4 times a week, now it is about twice a week. DH would like to every night, but I am just way too tired :/
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  • We were a few times a month pre-pregnancy. I also often find it painful so that is why we don't do it all that often. I have been on pelvic rest until now and am hoping the doctor will clear me at my appt. on Thursday. I am ready for some fun, although completely nervous too!
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