Baby Showers

My "Thank you" vent

Went to a baby shower a couple months ago.  It was co-ed and just knowing the couple AND the hosts- it was definitely more of a party than it was a shower.  So I wasn't surprised that there wasn't a gift opening.  I was having a good time, getting to see people I hardly ever see - it was all good.

Probably about 6 weeks later, the baby is finally born.  Still haven't gotten a thank you.

THEN we get the birth announcement.  A photocard from shutterfly and preprinted on it is a message to the effect of "Thank you for your support and generosity".

I read it a couple times and I realized - "THIS is our thank you".

Seriously?  There was no written message or signature.  Just a 100% pre-printed card.

And while I initially didn't care that they didn't open the gifts, when I got this as our thank you, I was actually now a bit annoyed.  I didn't even get a genuine thank you from them at any point. 

These are people who I really thought would know better.

 

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~Benjamin Franklin

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Re: My "Thank you" vent

  • Wow!  I don't mind when people take a while to get TYs out... but I would hate to get just something generic and pre-printed. 

    This is made more annoying b/c they opened the gifts at their leisure.  So they could've opened a gift, written a note, then gone to the next gift.

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  • We got one of those last year after a wedding. It annoyed the p!$$ out of me. Sadly, I'd even be happy to see a preprinted TY at this point in comparison to the lack of TY's I've gotten elsewhere.
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  • im not sure how i would feel about this, if it were me. I probably wouldnt care. I dont go to showers or weddings to get thank you notes (not saying anyone does) i understand its common courtesy.  If its a really great friend i automatically assume they are grateful. I wouldnt let it bother me. thats just one less person you have to write a thank you note for.
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  • image JayMOOMOO:
    im not sure how i would feel about this, if it were me. I probably wouldnt care. I dont go to showers or weddings to get thank you notes (not saying anyone does) i understand its common courtesy.  If its a really great friend i automatically assume they are grateful. I wouldnt let it bother me. thats just one less person you have to write a thank you note for.

    If they had at least opened the gifts in front of us and had given a heartfelt "thank you" at that time, I really wouldn't care.  But as showers are about the gifts, I really do think that people need to make a real effort to let their guests know that they do appreciate the gift.  A generic "thank you" simply doesn't convey genuine gratitude.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • I have never, ever liked and will never, ever do pre printed thank you notes. If a time comes when I want to include a picture in with thank you card, so be it. But there will ALWAYS be a handwritten card. Always. It boggles my mind that people think that is ok.
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  • image EastCoastBride:

    image JayMOOMOO:
    im not sure how i would feel about this, if it were me. I probably wouldnt care. I dont go to showers or weddings to get thank you notes (not saying anyone does) i understand its common courtesy.  If its a really great friend i automatically assume they are grateful. I wouldnt let it bother me. thats just one less person you have to write a thank you note for.

    If they had at least opened the gifts in front of us and had given a heartfelt "thank you" at that time, I really wouldn't care.  But as showers are about the gifts, I really do think that people need to make a real effort to let their guests know that they do appreciate the gift.  A generic "thank you" simply doesn't convey genuine gratitude.

    i agree. i can understand how you feel.

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  • It may help to think about the couple as taking the time to say thank you in some sort of fashion and maybe they are super exhausted but wanted to let people know they appreciated their generosity.  I don't know I always just give people leeway to help sooth my own nerves.  Sometimes it works sometimes not.  The last gift I gave at a wedding I didn't leave a tag or say who it was from.  I just wanted to share something with them for their enjoyment and not burden them to write me an unnecessary thank you.  I know they will like it and I am happy to see them happy.  I don't know if that helps.  I try to get thank yous out myself in a personal manner, but don't ever expect any then I know I will have no disappointment and if I do happen to receive a note in the mail its a wonderful surprise to hear from them.  
  • image pearlsnow:
    It may help to think about the couple as taking the time to say thank you in some sort of fashion and maybe they are super exhausted but wanted to let people know they appreciated their generosity.
    Sure, they may be super exhausted, but they had at least 6 weeks between the shower and the birth!  If we had gone to the shower, and then she gave birth the next week- I'd be more forgiving. :) 

    Honestly- I just think they are being lazy about it.  And it's disappointing. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • I received a similar "thank you" last week for a shower that was a little over three months ago. Even DH asked why it took them so long if all they were planning on doing was sending a generic message.


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  • I got a similar wedding thank you in the mail last week. Not only was it nearly 1 year to the day after they were married (I'm not exaggerating, they were married August 30th and I got it August 28th) but it was a printed photo card with "Thank You" on the front and a blank peel and stick label like the kind you buy at Staples for school supplies with the message "S&J; thank you for your gift it was greatly appreciated. M&A.

    Even lazier; I saw my moms thank you card from them since she was just as appauled by hers and wanted to show me....it was the EXACT same card, same message and all. All I could think was if you were going to be so lazy, why not just type out the message on the back and avoid the dumb looking lable. Or if it took a year to get the photo cards from your photographer for some unforseen reason, you had a year to write thoughtful messages on your stupid lables before sticking them on.

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  • image pearlsnow:
    It may help to think about the couple as taking the time to say thank you in some sort of fashion and maybe they are super exhausted but wanted to let people know they appreciated their generosity.  I don't know I always just give people leeway to help sooth my own nerves.  Sometimes it works sometimes not.  The last gift I gave at a wedding I didn't leave a tag or say who it was from.  I just wanted to share something with them for their enjoyment and not burden them to write me an unnecessary thank you.  I know they will like it and I am happy to see them happy.  I don't know if that helps.  I try to get thank yous out myself in a personal manner, but don't ever expect any then I know I will have no disappointment and if I do happen to receive a note in the mail its a wonderful surprise to hear from them.  

    So, you purposefully gave a gift without a card?  Your friend is probably driving herself, her husband, and her parents crazy trying to find it and figure out who the gift is from.  How very sweet of you. 

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  • image Liz4444:

    image pearlsnow:
    It may help to think about the couple as taking the time to say thank you in some sort of fashion and maybe they are super exhausted but wanted to let people know they appreciated their generosity.  I don't know I always just give people leeway to help sooth my own nerves.  Sometimes it works sometimes not.  The last gift I gave at a wedding I didn't leave a tag or say who it was from.  I just wanted to share something with them for their enjoyment and not burden them to write me an unnecessary thank you.  I know they will like it and I am happy to see them happy.  I don't know if that helps.  I try to get thank yous out myself in a personal manner, but don't ever expect any then I know I will have no disappointment and if I do happen to receive a note in the mail its a wonderful surprise to hear from them.  

    So, you purposefully gave a gift without a card?  Your friend is probably driving herself, her husband, and her parents crazy trying to find it and figure out who the gift is from.  How very sweet of you. 

    I so agree with Liz on this.  We got a gift from someone and it really made me feel bad that we had NO idea who gave it to us.  I don't think it was purposely done...but who knows (there are obviously people out there that do this).

    As for the preprinted (picture or not) that is just plain laziness.  I would probably call them and ask if they enjoyed using the gift I gave them.  Make them squirm...KWIM?  I'm mean like that sometimes.  lol

  • image Liz4444:

    So, you purposefully gave a gift without a card?  Your friend is probably driving herself, her husband, and her parents crazy trying to find it and figure out who the gift is from.  How very sweet of you. 

    This. I would be going through my guest-list and crossing off names, trying to figure it out. I'd be pretty miffed once I figured it out, and I would figure it out.

     A generic printed TY card is pretty lame. However, I'm still waiting on a TY from my cousin who got married 2 months before me, it will be 2 years now. You'd think my TY to them would be a reminder. Clearly I'm on the classier side of the family.

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  • I'm sure time is short because of the new baby, but I understand your frustration.

     I got a thank you card recently thanking me for the clothes I bought the child. UM, I bought a blanket and bibs. The bibs, to me, don't count as clothing. The mom got a lot of gifts and someone was keeping track of them, but still....... I know there's a chance the person keeping track of the gifts wrote it wrong, but who knows. 

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  • Even if they wanted to wait on the TYs so they could sent a printed card with a photo of the baby with it, they could have (and probably should have) handwritten a thank you note on the back of the card - problem solved. 

    My cousins SUCK at thank you notes for things I've bought them and their kids, they either never come at all or they're so late I forget I didn't get one until it arrives.  I'm hyper vigilant about getting TY's out as soon as I can.

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  • We got a preprinted thank you picture card for a wedding we went to over the summer.  I was honestly glad to get that, because it was the ONLY thank you we received out of a wedding, four baby showers, and two graduation parties I shelled out money for.  I even addressed my own envelope at two of the showers.
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  • I went to a friend's baby shower in April 2011-her baby was born in June 2011 and I never received a thank you.
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