Toddlers: 24 Months+

For those who do time outs

DS gets 3 min time outs in his room.  A few times, he's take his pants & undies off and pee on the floor during the time out.  He's only been in undies for maybe 3 months I think, so accidents do occasionally happen.  But this he's definitely doing on purpose.  I'm at a loss on what to do and how to react.  Any advice is much appreciated!

 

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Re: For those who do time outs

  • ugh, my bad grammar above is horrible!  I edited "sometimes" to be "a few times" then all grammatical hell broke loose.  Sorry, we just had a time out pee incident so I'm a tad frazzled.  I'm sure you get the point...
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  • I would not use a bedroom to do time outs. Move your time out place to somewhere else where you can keep an eye on him and stop him before he does that.
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  • DD tried this a couple times, as an attempt to get out of doing the timeout.  I made her help clean it up, and then she had to start the time all over again.  After the second time, I put a plastic potty right next to the time-out spot.  Once she had no excuses and realized the cleaning up would only extend the time-out, it wasn't a problem anymore.

    And I'd second the suggestion to find a time-out spot where you can keep an eye on him, instead of using his bedroom.  

  • Can you do a time out chair?  Maybe a chair that isn't in a room with a television or other form of entertainment?  We can't do this with DD because she would just get right up. Maybe she is too young to understand that "type" of time out.  We still put her in her crib for time outs.

    As I read this, I'm not sure this is helpful at all :/

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  • image KathrynMD:
    do t/o in the bathroom

    I personally wouldn't do this, because if you associate the actual bathroom with "I'm in trouble/bad bad bad" it could possibly lead to anger, or even regression, over the potty itself.  Then again I have ridiculously stubborn kids, but that doesn't mean it couldn't work for others.  

  • image KC_13:
    I would not use a bedroom to do time outs. Move your time out place to somewhere else where you can keep an eye on him and stop him before he does that.

    This. We have an inexpensive bath mat (turquoise) that is the "time out mat". It generally lives near the kitchen because while I'm cooking/cleaning there seems to be when S is most likely to need a timeout. It's great because when we travel, I can take it with us and S knows it's for time outs. Also, if she DOES have an accident, it's even an easy clean. 

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    AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class.  "Sex is between the legs.  Gender is between the ears."
  • DD's time outs are in the dining room, with a chair facing the wall.  She gets four minutes there.  I am there cleaning the kitchen, interneting, or doing bills in the dining room during this time.  If that time she has to go potty, she tells me, we stop time out and go, then we come back, and she starts where we left off. 

    I used to do TO in her room, but then she realized she can have fun in there with her stuffed animals and books.  We quickly changed that routine to a chair in the dining room.  I wouldn't do it in the bedroom any longer if I were you. 

  • image KC_13:
    I would not use a bedroom to do time outs. Move your time out place to somewhere else where you can keep an eye on him and stop him before he does that.

    This. Move him somewhere he's seen.

    DS started doing this shortly after PTing , though not during time outs, and making him clean up his own mess definitely helped curb this bad habit.  

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  • Ditto a chair or somewhere he can be seen. We have a chair in the  living room and when he has to go sit in it he has to hand me his car (he always has one in his hand...lol) and the TV goes off. Nothing burns him more than having to do that!


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  • Guess I should have mentioned that I don't have the type of child that will stay in a time out chair.  We tried forever super-nanny style with the replacing, replacing, starting time out time over each time.  That was a huge failure for us.  We switched to the bedroom with childproof doorknob because he won't stay in.  But next time I will definitely make him help clean it up, and maybe he'll have to do the time out over again too.
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  • image KathrynMD:
    do t/o in the bathroom

     

    I was totally thinking this! 

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  • image fiasco:
    Guess I should have mentioned that I don't have the type of child that will stay in a time out chair.  We tried forever super-nanny style with the replacing, replacing, starting time out time over each time.  That was a huge failure for us.  We switched to the bedroom with childproof doorknob because he won't stay in.  But next time I will definitely make him help clean it up, and maybe he'll have to do the time out over again too.

    Put him in the corner and stand in front of him so he can't escape.

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  • image KC_13:

    image fiasco:
    Guess I should have mentioned that I don't have the type of child that will stay in a time out chair.  We tried forever super-nanny style with the replacing, replacing, starting time out time over each time.  That was a huge failure for us.  We switched to the bedroom with childproof doorknob because he won't stay in.  But next time I will definitely make him help clean it up, and maybe he'll have to do the time out over again too.

    Put him in the corner and stand in front of him so he can't escape.

    This. It's part of the control thing. The only reason he doesn't stay is because you want him to. 

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    AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class.  "Sex is between the legs.  Gender is between the ears."
  • image KC_13:

    image fiasco:
    Guess I should have mentioned that I don't have the type of child that will stay in a time out chair.  We tried forever super-nanny style with the replacing, replacing, starting time out time over each time.  That was a huge failure for us.  We switched to the bedroom with childproof doorknob because he won't stay in.  But next time I will definitely make him help clean it up, and maybe he'll have to do the time out over again too.

    Put him in the corner and stand in front of him so he can't escape.

    He only gets time outs when he hits, kicks or throws things.  So usually if it gets to that point, he hits.  Then what? 

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  • image fiasco:
    image KC_13:

    image fiasco:
    Guess I should have mentioned that I don't have the type of child that will stay in a time out chair.  We tried forever super-nanny style with the replacing, replacing, starting time out time over each time.  That was a huge failure for us.  We switched to the bedroom with childproof doorknob because he won't stay in.  But next time I will definitely make him help clean it up, and maybe he'll have to do the time out over again too.

    Put him in the corner and stand in front of him so he can't escape.

    He only gets time outs when he hits, kicks or throws things.  So usually if it gets to that point, he hits.  Then what? 

    Hold his arms by his sides (so you are essentially holding him in a tight hug).  

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    AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class.  "Sex is between the legs.  Gender is between the ears."
  • image KC_13:

    image fiasco:
    Guess I should have mentioned that I don't have the type of child that will stay in a time out chair.  We tried forever super-nanny style with the replacing, replacing, starting time out time over each time.  That was a huge failure for us.  We switched to the bedroom with childproof doorknob because he won't stay in.  But next time I will definitely make him help clean it up, and maybe he'll have to do the time out over again too.

    Put him in the corner and stand in front of him so he can't escape.

    This is what I have to do with DD. Then she only gets a couple steps before I put her back. She gets bored with it much quicker and will sit for the TO.

  • This seems like a very obvious solution to your problem, but don't put him in his room for time out!  Put him somewhere you can see him!  Time outs are best done in a single spot that is always the same at home.  Like a specific step, chair or corner.  If he tires to get out just keep putting him back in and starting the timer over.  It may take awhile but he will get it and eventually sit quietly for the whole 3 min.  If you do time outs the right way every child can get it.  My 2 year old sits quietly for a time out and I know she understands what she is doing there because we do exactly the same thing each time. 
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