Baby Showers

What if no one offers to throw you a shower?

I don't mean to sound greedy or presumptuous because I?m not, I?m just the type of person who likes to plan ahead and be well organized so my question is?At what point do you assume no one is going to offer to throw you a shower and just start getting things yourself?  I?m in the military so I?m not near any family that would throw me a shower so it would only be a friend/co-worker who would offer.  People have casually talked about it but no one has come out and said they were going to throw me a shower, its like everyone talks about it assuming someone else will do it.  I would hope someone would but I don?t want to assume that and then no one does and at the last minute run around to get things I need because I didn?t get a shower either.

Re: What if no one offers to throw you a shower?

  • image rheannesmomma:

    I don't mean to sound greedy or presumptuous because I?m not, I?m just the type of person who likes to plan ahead and be well organized so my question is?At what point do you assume no one is going to offer to throw you a shower and just start getting things yourself?  I?m in the military so I?m not near any family that would throw me a shower so it would only be a friend/co-worker who would offer.  People have casually talked about it but no one has come out and said they were going to throw me a shower, its like everyone talks about it assuming someone else will do it.  I would hope someone would but I don?t want to assume that and then no one does and at the last minute run around to get things I need because I didn?t get a shower either.

    I would say if you're almost 7 months pregnant and no one's seriously mentioned it, you aren't having one. 

  • Start buying the big things now. Save your receipts. If you get a shower and have doubles, you can take things back.

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  • image panicked228:

    Start buying the big things now. Save your receipts. If you get a shower and have doubles, you can take things back.

    I agree with this.  People may also give you a few gifts here and there without a shower and if you have a Meet the Baby after it is born, you will most likely receive items, and having receipts will making returning any extras should they happen much easier.  Also, if you haven't made a registry because of no shower planned, do it now--the completion coupon is also a great way to save money  :)

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  • If no one offers to throw you a shower, you don't get one. Don't throw your own.  End of story.
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  • image JMack1117:
    If no one offers to throw you a shower, you don't get one. Don't throw your own.  End of story.

    God people jump at every chance to get up on their pedestal and declare this....! 

    How about we get down off our high horse and try a little reading comprehension!?!

    She is not asking whether or not she should throw her own. She never even mentions it. She wants to know when to start buying her own items.

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  • Anytime you're ready, you can start getting your big items.  I would hang on to all receipts (of your own and any gifts you might get outside of a shower) just in case.
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  • I think it's pretty safe to assume that no one is going to throw you a shower at 7 months.  I would just create a registry or two, and when people ask if you are having a shower say something like, "No...I don't think so, but I've registered online at _______________ for some of my out town family and friends."  I think people would get the hint.  Then if they want to buy you a gift, they know where you're registered.
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  • image BabyTime01032012:
    I think it's pretty safe to assume that no one is going to throw you a shower at 7 months. 

    Eh, I wouldn't assume this. Showers don't take THAT long to plan. I haven't had mine yet -- my mother and S/O's mother wanted to co-host one, and the only weekend that worked for everyone is 11/6 -- I'll be 36 weeks at that point.  

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  • I would start getting the things you need.  If someone does throw you a shower, you can use the gifts as extras and probably end up with lots of clothes, blankets, and hooded towels.

    You can keep receipts and keep things unopened so anything can be returned if you are concerned.

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  • image EvenAngelsFall:

    image JMack1117:
    If no one offers to throw you a shower, you don't get one. Don't throw your own.  End of story.

    God people jump at every chance to get up on their pedestal and declare this....! 

    How about we get down off our high horse and try a little reading comprehension!?!

    She is not asking whether or not she should throw her own. She never even mentions it. She wants to know when to start buying her own items.

    Hello Pot, I would like to introduce you to Kettle. Also, in JMack's defense, I first read the OP to mean that she was going to plan her own shower. I had to reread it to understand what she meant.

     

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  • We are starting to buy the big things needed now, we have 6 weeks left. I think a meet the baby party does sounds great.
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  • I only had to read the OP once and never did I think she was even considering throwing her own shower...she was only asking when she should start buying things since no one has offerer to throw one yet. 

    OP...if you only have 6 weeks left I would start buying the large things (crib, carseat, stroller - or combo, etc).  Like the others said just keep your receipts so you can take anything back that is a double (if some people get you gifts).  You will need clothes but most things can wait until you have a "meet the baby party" if you plan to do one.  At those events a lot of people buy clothes or diapers even though gifts are not required like they are at a shower.  You might be surprised by a work shower...who knows.  I had my showers late in my pregnancy so you never know.  You said you were in the military and away from family...has anyone sent you anything yet?  It's possible everyone is waiting until the baby is born.

  • image couliegirl:

    Hello Pot, I would like to introduce you to Kettle. Also, in JMack's defense, I first read the OP to mean that she was going to plan her own shower. I had to reread it to understand what she meant. 

    1. Your pot / kettle reference does not make sense nor apply to the context in which it was used.

    2. Seriously? You had to reread it? What, too many big words? She had a pretty simple question. It would only be confusing to hose who came into the post with pre-conceived notions... judging before they even read it.  

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  • image EvenAngelsFall:
    image couliegirl:

    Hello Pot, I would like to introduce you to Kettle. Also, in JMack's defense, I first read the OP to mean that she was going to plan her own shower. I had to reread it to understand what she meant. 

    1. Your pot / kettle reference does not make sense nor apply to the context in which it was used.

    2. Seriously? You had to reread it? What, too many big words? She had a pretty simple question. It would only be confusing to hose who came into the post with pre-conceived notions... judging before they even read it.  

    1) the pot/kettle reference only doesn't make sense if you are oblivious to the fact that you were on a total high horse when you called JMack out on her post.

    2)Yes. Seriously. I originally read it to say something to the effect of when do you stop waiting for someone to throw you a shower and start planning it yourself. I re-read it and understood what it meant. Do not assume that I am stupid or ignorant. Also, I find it odd that you would accuse others of judging, when in both posts on this thread you have been extremly judgemental towards others. Although, I wouldn't expect that you could see that.

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  • image couliegirl:
    image EvenAngelsFall:
    image couliegirl:

    Hello Pot, I would like to introduce you to Kettle. Also, in JMack's defense, I first read the OP to mean that she was going to plan her own shower. I had to reread it to understand what she meant. 

    1. Your pot / kettle reference does not make sense nor apply to the context in which it was used.

    2. Seriously? You had to reread it? What, too many big words? She had a pretty simple question. It would only be confusing to hose who came into the post with pre-conceived notions... judging before they even read it.  

    1) the pot/kettle reference only doesn't make sense if you are oblivious to the fact that you were on a total high horse when you called JMack out on her post.

    2)Yes. Seriously. I originally read it to say something to the effect of when do you stop waiting for someone to throw you a shower and start planning it yourself. I re-read it and understood what it meant. Do not assume that I am stupid or ignorant. Also, I find it odd that you would accuse others of judging, when in both posts on this thread you have been extremly judgemental towards others. Although, I wouldn't expect that you could see that.

    I wish I could shake the hand of whoever first had the idea to make message boards for pregnant women.

    Seriously...take women who were probably total bishes before they got pregnant and add in tons of hormones and it always adds up to quality entertainment for everyone.

  • image rhubarb123:

    I only had to read the OP once and never did I think she was even considering throwing her own shower...she was only asking when she should start buying things since no one has offerer to throw one yet. 

    OP...if you only have 6 weeks left I would start buying the large things (crib, carseat, stroller - or combo, etc).  Like the others said just keep your receipts so you can take anything back that is a double (if some people get you gifts).  You will need clothes but most things can wait until you have a "meet the baby party" if you plan to do one.  At those events a lot of people buy clothes or diapers even though gifts are not required like they are at a shower.  You might be surprised by a work shower...who knows.  I had my showers late in my pregnancy so you never know.  You said you were in the military and away from family...has anyone sent you anything yet?  It's possible everyone is waiting until the baby is born.

    All of this.

    If you want to respond to a post, you should read more than just the title.  The OP never hinted at throwing her own shower at all. 

    There is a great list on the alphamom website that tells you what you need to buy now and what can wait until later.

    Here's the link

    http://alphamom.com/pregnancy/our-ultimate-baby-registry-checklist/

     


  • Yeah, I didn't see anywhere that said that she was going to throw herself a shower.

     Good God, why do people have to pull the the b!itch out all the time? The woman was just asking a question. 

  • image JMack1117:
    If no one offers to throw you a shower, you don't get one. Don't throw your own.  End of story.

     

    Agreed.

  • image EvenAngelsFall:

    image JMack1117:
    If no one offers to throw you a shower, you don't get one. Don't throw your own.  End of story.

    God people jump at every chance to get up on their pedestal and declare this....! 

    How about we get down off our high horse and try a little reading comprehension!?!

    She is not asking whether or not she should throw her own. She never even mentions it. She wants to know when to start buying her own items.

    Agreed!  She isn't even considering throwing her own shower!  Sheesh!

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  • yeah, you don't want to be out last minute trying to buy everything.  Just try not to buy much clothes until later as you'll probably receive a lot of that as gifts. People love to give cute outfits!

    I sure hope someone does offer to give you a shower or at least a lot of gift cards to help set you up!  

     
  • I agree that if no one has offered yet, then it may mean that you aren't getting a shower. While it might seem like a bummer, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't register! I know that babies r us told me when you register, once you are 3 weeks from your due date you will receive a coupon to come in and get anything off your registry for 10% off. Perhaps you could register and then just take advantage of the coupon to purchase some of the big ticket items? Also, you can watch for some good deals online and pick up what you need. Assume you aren't having a shower, but then hope that maybe someone with surprise you with one! Smile  I was also thinking that you could register, and then once the baby is born you could throw a celebration party and include party details on baby's birth announcements. Then if anyone RSVPs and asks you if you need anything, you could mention something like, "Oh, well I actually am registered at Babies R Us. We would be so grateful if you could pick up anything from our list, but don't feel like you have to bring anything." Again, you will know that YOU have to foot the bill for items but you might get lucky and have someone purchase a few things for you too!  Big Smile good luck!
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  • image BabyTime01032012:
    I think it's pretty safe to assume that no one is going to throw you a shower at 7 months.  I would just create a registry or two, and when people ask if you are having a shower say something like, "No...I don't think so, but I've registered online at _______________ for some of my out town family and friends."  I think people would get the hint.  Then if they want to buy you a gift, they know where you're registered.

    Please don't do this. It's seriously tacky. 

  • image Jim&Jaime:

    image BabyTime01032012:
    I think it's pretty safe to assume that no one is going to throw you a shower at 7 months.  I would just create a registry or two, and when people ask if you are having a shower say something like, "No...I don't think so, but I've registered online at _______________ for some of my out town family and friends."  I think people would get the hint.  Then if they want to buy you a gift, they know where you're registered.

    Please don't do this. It's seriously tacky. 

     

    I agree. I think is someone OFFERS to get you something, like "oh, is there anything you need for the baby?"  then that would be an appropriate time to say "well, actually there is still ____ that I need. It's on my Babies R Us registry".  Even in that situation, I'd still feel bad ASKING for something, but we all have that one relative that won't take no for an answer lol 

    It's a girl!

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  • Throw your own shower...etiquette schmetiquette. Everyone deserves to celebrate their childs birth. Don't put registry info on the invite letting them know a gift is not required.
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