October 2011 Moms

*Unpopular Opinions*

This and FFFC may be the only threads that get any real action on this board these days!
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Re: *Unpopular Opinions*

  • Mine -

    I find it obnoxious that after 9 months of discussing every aspect of each other's pregnancies on this board and getting to know one another, the baby announcement posts only get about 10 replies each. Yet, when there is some sort of check-in where people get to talk about themselves, that post gets about 60 replies.

    I am not a very "puppies & rainbows" type but for some reason this irks me.

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  • All of the Occupy protesting has been a hot topic among my friends and FB friends (there is one going on in our city) and I think it is ridiculous. I admit that I don't fully grasp what they are attempting to accomplish, but I don't think they are accomplishing anything other than making themselves look foolish. The behavior of many protestors has been disgusting. The whole thing makes me feel a litte old, a little crabby and a little republican.
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  • I hate the concept of "you aren't making progress." I mean there is no correlation between being dilated weeks out and when you will go into labor. I just dont' get the idea of "well we have to schedule an induction becuase your body isn't making progress" I think it suggests to women that their bodies are inferior and don't know what to do ...and it seems like of like a sexist way of thinking (it doesn't help that the majority of physicians in the OB field are male).

    Moreover, I don't like the term failure to progress in labor. Largely becuase the labor time table (dilate a cm an hour ever hour after 4cms) is based on some old school chart that some man determined and there are people that fall on either side of that bell curve. So just becuase you don't dilate "on schedule" while in labor doesn't mean anything is wrong, you could just be someone that takes a long time.

    We just aren't all robots that are made to work in the exact same way. I get why hospitals have to treat us like that, they need some kind of guidance. I just find it frustrating.

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  • At this point, time off work is more of a motivation to go into labor than meeting my baby. I know she will come eventually and I will have her for the rest of my life but I'd really like to get out of that two hour conference call tomorrow morning.
  • image Brie2006:

    Mine -

    I find it obnoxious that after 9 months of discussing every aspect of each other's pregnancies on this board and getting to know one another, the baby announcement posts only get about 10 replies each. Yet, when there is some sort of check-in where people get to talk about themselves, that post gets about 60 replies.

    I am not a very "puppies & rainbows" type but for some reason this irks me.

    And they all get a ton of views from lurkers!!! I think pregnancy involves a lot of navel gazing and allows you to be pretty focused on what is going on with you. It's one of those things that the journey may actually be more discussion worthy than the destination! Until your baby starts confusing the hell out of you. With that said, I spend more time reading on Babies 0-3 and September.
    image

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  • image Brie2006:

    Mine -

    I find it obnoxious that after 9 months of discussing every aspect of each other's pregnancies on this board and getting to know one another, the baby announcement posts only get about 10 replies each. Yet, when there is some sort of check-in where people get to talk about themselves, that post gets about 60 replies.

    I am not a very "puppies & rainbows" type but for some reason this irks me.

    I read most of the birth stories, but I tend not to comment.  I just hate being the 10th person to say "congrats" 

    and I hate check in posts with 5 questions.  Everyone answers those, but I doubt anyone reads all the replies. 

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  • My UO today goes out to my co-workers, they keep asking why in the world am I still working.  Mind you I am working at home, virtually.  I can tell you for sure that I'm still feeling fine and probably feeling better than some people who are thereTongue Tied physically at the facility.  I will stop working when I want to stop working, get off my back!  Yeah yeah, they are looking out for my own sanity, but hey maybe I can't let go yet, and using work as an excuse to not be consumed with my anxious thoughts of labor.
  • image rkto:
    image Brie2006:

    Mine -

    I find it obnoxious that after 9 months of discussing every aspect of each other's pregnancies on this board and getting to know one another, the baby announcement posts only get about 10 replies each. Yet, when there is some sort of check-in where people get to talk about themselves, that post gets about 60 replies.

    I am not a very "puppies & rainbows" type but for some reason this irks me.

    I read most of the birth stories, but I tend not to comment.  I just hate being the 10th person to say "congrats" 

    and I hate check in posts with 5 questions.  Everyone answers those, but I doubt anyone reads all the replies. 

    This! I don't know what to say beyond what everyone has already said, so I don't comment, but I am very happy. Of course, I'm one of those people who might show up 4 days after the baby is born, IRL. So I get my own time to show mom and baby that I care and give them time to themselves. And I don't want to fight all the other spectators.

  • My UO after delivering a 10 lb 3 oz baby last week (my lazy azz is still working on a birth story): your body CAN make a baby that is too big for you to deliver vaginally.
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  • image CakeBatter:
    My UO after delivering a 10 lb 3 oz baby last week (my lazy azz is still working on a birth story): your body CAN make a baby that is too big for you to deliver vaginally.

    It absolutely can! I didn't understand why people on these boards kept insisting that your body can deliver any baby.

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  • image karinothing:

    I hate the concept of "you aren't making progress." I mean there is no correlation between being dilated weeks out and when you will go into labor. I just dont' get the idea of "well we have to schedule an induction becuase your body isn't making progress" I think it suggests to women that their bodies are inferior and don't know what to do ...and it seems like of like a sexist way of thinking (it doesn't help that the majority of physicians in the OB field are male).

    Moreover, I don't like the term failure to progress in labor. Largely becuase the labor time table (dilate a cm an hour ever hour after 4cms) is based on some old school chart that some man determined and there are people that fall on either side of that bell curve. So just becuase you don't dilate "on schedule" while in labor doesn't mean anything is wrong, you could just be someone that takes a long time.

    We just aren't all robots that are made to work in the exact same way. I get why hospitals have to treat us like that, they need some kind of guidance. I just find it frustrating.

    Well said! Until I started posting on TB, I had no idea that the majority of women in the US were induced whether they had a medical reason or not.  It's crazy to me that women's bodies aren't allowed to labor naturally, without the use of chemical agents (again, I'm talking about those without medical issues/reasons).  My midwife doesn't do cervical checks for this very reason...it raises false hope, which is usually followed by a scheduled induction.  I have no idea if I "progressed" at this point or when my baby is coming.  All I know is that she'll come when she's good and ready and not on some doctor's schedule.  

  • image karinothing:

    I hate the concept of "you aren't making progress." I mean there is no correlation between being dilated weeks out and when you will go into labor. I just dont' get the idea of "well we have to schedule an induction becuase your body isn't making progress" I think it suggests to women that their bodies are inferior and don't know what to do ...and it seems like of like a sexist way of thinking (it doesn't help that the majority of physicians in the OB field are male).

    Moreover, I don't like the term failure to progress in labor. Largely becuase the labor time table (dilate a cm an hour ever hour after 4cms) is based on some old school chart that some man determined and there are people that fall on either side of that bell curve. So just becuase you don't dilate "on schedule" while in labor doesn't mean anything is wrong, you could just be someone that takes a long time.

    We just aren't all robots that are made to work in the exact same way. I get why hospitals have to treat us like that, they need some kind of guidance. I just find it frustrating.

    I totally agree about making women feel like they're "failing" because they're not fitting the norm.  And it works the other way, too.  They told me I could go back home if I wanted because I was only 2cm and it would be a long time.  Nobody checked on me while they all went to do a c-section for another woman, came back an hour later and I was fully dilated and had been resisting pushing for a while.  And I've heard many similar stories where doctors/nurses/midwives tell a woman she can't possibly be ready to push because she was "only" 2, 3, 4 cm a little while ago.  When they finally check, she knows her body best and is fully dilated.

    BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010

    BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011

    BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013


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  • image Brie2006:

    Mine -

    I find it obnoxious that after 9 months of discussing every aspect of each other's pregnancies on this board and getting to know one another, the baby announcement posts only get about 10 replies each. Yet, when there is some sort of check-in where people get to talk about themselves, that post gets about 60 replies.

    I am not a very "puppies & rainbows" type but for some reason this irks me.

    I'll just say for myself, I like to read the birth stories, but I have a newborn at home now and don't have as much time to read the board as I did when I was pregnant.  I try to keep up and respond, but it isn't easy.  Just pointing that out - as people have their babies, the dynamics of the board will change, too.

    Congratulations to my BFPB - BonitaKaz
    Good luck to everyone, especially the ladies who chat!
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  • My UO is I really don't think that cervical checks hurt at all. Ya they are uncomfortable, but not painful.
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  • I think the whole pay before you deliver thing is absolute bullsh*t.  I realize there are plenty of people out there who don't pay but it's really starting to piss me off.  If I don't pay are you going to deny the delivery of my baby?  I don't generally pay for a haircut before I actually get the cut.  I seriously doubt my insurance company is sending you their money before I deliver this child, so why should I be expected to? 

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  • image UGADawg8:
    I think the whole pay before you deliver thing is absolute bullsh*t.  I realize there are plenty of people out there who don't pay but it's really starting to piss me off.  If I don't pay are you going to deny the delivery of my baby?  I don't generally pay for a haircut before I actually get the cut.  I seriously doubt my insurance company is sending you their money before I deliver this child, so why should I be expected to? 
    I called my hospital billing and the woman said as long as I paid the insurance admittance deductible ($150) not to agree to pay the rest because based on my insurance she thought my actual copay would be less than their estimate but Id be screwed if I signed the contract and agreed to pay the requested amount. And in reference to the induction/failure to progress thing, I still don't get seeing people on here with tickers saying they're 37 weeks wanting to ask for inductions or looking for ways to jump start labor.
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  • image jwls84:
    My UO is I really don't think that cervical checks hurt at all. Ya they are uncomfortable, but not painful.

    Holy crap!  Every time I had a cervical check at the end it was extremely painful.  Everyone's body is different and it's great that they weren't painful for you. 

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    BFP #1 1/30/09; Stopped growing at 5w 5d; D&C 3/10/09;

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  • image skruhmin:

    image jwls84:
    My UO is I really don't think that cervical checks hurt at all. Ya they are uncomfortable, but not painful.

    Holy crap!  Every time I had a cervical check at the end it was extremely painful.  Everyone's body is different and it's great that they weren't painful for you. 

    This!  It took my breath away!  I am not looking forward to my cervical check tomorrow.  

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  • image rkto:
    image Brie2006:

    Mine -

    I find it obnoxious that after 9 months of discussing every aspect of each other's pregnancies on this board and getting to know one another, the baby announcement posts only get about 10 replies each. Yet, when there is some sort of check-in where people get to talk about themselves, that post gets about 60 replies.

    I am not a very "puppies & rainbows" type but for some reason this irks me.

    I read most of the birth stories, but I tend not to comment.  I just hate being the 10th person to say "congrats" 

    and I hate check in posts with 5 questions.  Everyone answers those, but I doubt anyone reads all the replies. 

    I'm with you on both of these. I don't reply to the birth stories because oftentimes I'm on my phone and I can't, or because there are a bunch of people who have already said the same thing. I think the people writing the story are okay with knowing that a bunch of people have simply read it...I doubt they read every single "congrats" response they get.

    I never read all the answers to every reply to the check-in...I read the first few and then usually put mine in if I can!

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  • I don't know if mine is unpopular or not, but here goes.

    I really hate the way that fake bake or overly tanned women look. The orange or even very deep brown has never looked healthy to me. I'm not saying you have to be pale as the moon. A little healthy glow is ok, but the folks that I see doing this (here in CA) go ***-house-rat crazy with the bleach blond + deep tan thing.

    I'm going to be in a wedding this winter, and the bride (who I love dearly) is insisting that everyone fake bake. I mean, she is paying for the fake bake spray tan thing, but at the same time I'm thinking, "its winter for pete's sake, we are supposed to be pale!". I am afraid I'm going to come out looking like a carrot. Embarrassed

    I know that some folks love to tan/spray or lotion it up to be darker-- but sometimes it just looks really fake & barbaric. Add to this the caked on makeup and the crazy eye makeup.... oh my goodness.


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  • image BettyBookworm:



    I'm going to be in a wedding this winter, and the bride (who I love dearly) is insisting that everyone fake bake. I mean, she is paying for the fake bake spray tan thing, but at the same time I'm thinking, "its winter for pete's sake, we are supposed to be pale!". I am afraid I'm going to come out looking like a carrot. Embarrassed

    I would love a bride slightly less for forcing me to fake bake to be in her wedding.

    I would like to add that I think one of the best times to figure out if someone is really a nice person in their core or not, is to observe their behavior regarding their wedding.  True colors come out.

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  • It never ceases to amaze me that about half the women I see who are ADAMANT about a "natural birth" with no "medical intervention" were the same ones who used some form of medical intervention to help get pregnant.
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  • image sbrowarny:
    image Janimal:

    image BettyBookworm:



    I'm going to be in a wedding this winter, and the bride (who I love dearly) is insisting that everyone fake bake. I mean, she is paying for the fake bake spray tan thing, but at the same time I'm thinking, "its winter for pete's sake, we are supposed to be pale!". I am afraid I'm going to come out looking like a carrot. Embarrassed

    I would love a bride slightly less for forcing me to fake bake to be in her wedding.

    I would like to add that I think one of the best times to figure out if someone is really a nice person in their core or not, is to observe their behavior regarding their wedding.  True colors come out.

    THIS!  Wasnt this in an episode of Bridezillas??

    Yeah, I gave her a HUGE side-eye and told her outright that she was being unreasonable. Her response? "I'm paying for the photos, spray tan, hair & makeup so I can have the EXACT look I want for the bridal party. If you don't like it you don't have to be in the bridal party at all. "

    So yeah, I am thinking that this bride (who I've known for 10 years & I never really thought would behave like this TBH) may be already be on my drift apart list after this wedding is over.

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  • image blu-eyedwife:
    It never ceases to amaze me that about half the women I see who are ADAMANT about a "natural birth" with no "medical intervention" were the same ones who used some form of medical intervention to help get pregnant.

    I had a crapload of medical intervention to get pregnant.  And I wanted a natural birth.  It wasn't in the cards for me with my 999th percentile head size lollipop of a baby.  But why shouldn't I have just as much right to want to have a natural birth as anyone else?  Hell, given all the drugs, injections, procedures and thousands of dollars I spent to get pregnant, I would think that getting my body to cooperate a leeetle bit with the process might be a nice idea!

    That being said, if the safest way to bring my daughter into the world had been through my left nostril, that would have been fine with me.  I didn't get to have a vaginal birth.  But I did get a healthy kid.  So eyes on the prize it didn't get me down.

    But it's unfair to assume that since I had trouble getting pregnant, that I should forget the notion that I could have any kind of desires regarding delivery.

    Oh, and I'm having a C section this time.  Planned rather than emergency because apparently I make kids with big brains and it's not a good idea for me to try VBAC.  the METHOD of my conception doesn't and shouldn't dictate how my children should enter the world.  It's what is best and safest for them.  And for most women, that's whatever the hell they choose!

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  • image blu-eyedwife:
    It never ceases to amaze me that about half the women I see who are ADAMANT about a "natural birth" with no "medical intervention" were the same ones who used some form of medical intervention to help get pregnant.

    Ooooh, man. Why'd you have to go THERE? Tongue Tied

    I did not use medical intervention to get pregnant, but I might venture a guess that by the time they get ready to deliver these women have had enough of doctors? I don't think its unreasonable to want something that those who didn't use ART or other treatments can have, KWIM?

    It doesn't amaze me at all that these women would like to do something different and want a natural birth (with minimal medical intervention). Even if they don't and want the full monty with medical intervention etc. I don't know why that would be amazing to you? Could you elaborate?

    Every woman's situation is drastically different and I think that whatever the person giving birth wants should be up to them. Medically assisted or not it is a very personal decision, & whatever makes them happy makes me happy. FWIW, I am going to try for a natural birth. 

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  • image somebodysmama21:

    image CakeBatter:
    My UO after delivering a 10 lb 3 oz baby last week (my lazy azz is still working on a birth story): your body CAN make a baby that is too big for you to deliver vaginally.

    I totally believe your body can make a baby that is too big however I get concerned with the whole drs guessing and then being totally off and making a woman have a birth she would have not preferred becuase they were afraid it might be too big of a baby. I do believe it happens though. Which is weird isnt it it seems like your body wouldnt allow it but no I have seen some tiny women have babies (c-section of course) that were over 11lbs and their shoulders were broad enough to be a football player. Guess your baby didnt get the message you are petite.

    Actually, I'm not petite at all. My first was 8 lbs 13 oz and I had no problems (induced a week early due to pre-e). DD2 was induced 2 weeks early due to estimated size to avoid a CS. Estimates were spot on. I was able to deliver vaginally, but they had to do some extreme maneuvers and DD2 still had shoulder dystocia. Had we waited and tried to labor, I likely would have needed an emergency CS.

    ETA: DD2 also had a 15" head, which is on the very high end of the scale (normal is 12-14.5).
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  • image PitaBread:

    Well said! Until I started posting on TB, I had no idea that the majority of women in the US were induced whether they had a medical reason or not.  It's crazy to me that women's bodies aren't allowed to labor naturally, without the use of chemical agents (again, I'm talking about those without medical issues/reasons).  My midwife doesn't do cervical checks for this very reason...it raises false hope, which is usually followed by a scheduled induction.  I have no idea if I "progressed" at this point or when my baby is coming.  All I know is that she'll come when she's good and ready and not on some doctor's schedule.  

    Do you have source for the bolded because I'm having trouble believing it.

  • image BettyBookworm:
    image sbrowarny:
    image Janimal:

    image BettyBookworm:



    I'm going to be in a wedding this winter, and the bride (who I love dearly) is insisting that everyone fake bake. I mean, she is paying for the fake bake spray tan thing, but at the same time I'm thinking, "its winter for pete's sake, we are supposed to be pale!". I am afraid I'm going to come out looking like a carrot. Embarrassed

    I would love a bride slightly less for forcing me to fake bake to be in her wedding.

    I would like to add that I think one of the best times to figure out if someone is really a nice person in their core or not, is to observe their behavior regarding their wedding.  True colors come out.

    THIS!  Wasnt this in an episode of Bridezillas??

    Yeah, I gave her a HUGE side-eye and told her outright that she was being unreasonable. Her response? "I'm paying for the photos, spray tan, hair & makeup so I can have the EXACT look I want for the bridal party. If you don't like it you don't have to be in the bridal party at all. "

    So yeah, I am thinking that this bride (who I've known for 10 years & I never really thought would behave like this TBH) may be already be on my drift apart list after this wedding is over.

    I think I would respond to that "Ok then I won't be in the bridal party."  Seriously.  I wouldn't wait to drift apart after the wedding, I would start drifting away right then and there!

  • image crystalbaby:
    image read8068:
    image PitaBread:

    Well said! Until I started posting on TB, I had no idea that the majority of women in the US were induced whether they had a medical reason or not.  It's crazy to me that women's bodies aren't allowed to labor naturally, without the use of chemical agents (again, I'm talking about those without medical issues/reasons).  My midwife doesn't do cervical checks for this very reason...it raises false hope, which is usually followed by a scheduled induction.  I have no idea if I "progressed" at this point or when my baby is coming.  All I know is that she'll come when she's good and ready and not on some doctor's schedule.  

    Do you have source for the bolded because I'm having trouble believing it.

    I'm not sure which article Pita is referring to but I read this article recently that states, "the overall rate of induction of labor is rising faster than the rate of pregnancy complications that would lead to a medically indicated induction".  So, "majority" may be an overstatement. 

    I was reading about the increase of inductions in Today's Parent Pregnancy Edition. It is Canadian but had the same type of statistics, induction is definitely on the rise in North America!

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  • image UFCasey:
    image BettyBookworm:
    image sbrowarny:
    image Janimal:

    image BettyBookworm:



    I'm going to be in a wedding this winter, and the bride (who I love dearly) is insisting that everyone fake bake. I mean, she is paying for the fake bake spray tan thing, but at the same time I'm thinking, "its winter for pete's sake, we are supposed to be pale!". I am afraid I'm going to come out looking like a carrot. Embarrassed

    I would love a bride slightly less for forcing me to fake bake to be in her wedding.

    I would like to add that I think one of the best times to figure out if someone is really a nice person in their core or not, is to observe their behavior regarding their wedding.  True colors come out.

    THIS!  Wasnt this in an episode of Bridezillas??

    Yeah, I gave her a HUGE side-eye and told her outright that she was being unreasonable. Her response? "I'm paying for the photos, spray tan, hair & makeup so I can have the EXACT look I want for the bridal party. If you don't like it you don't have to be in the bridal party at all. "

    So yeah, I am thinking that this bride (who I've known for 10 years & I never really thought would behave like this TBH) may be already be on my drift apart list after this wedding is over.

    I think I would respond to that "Ok then I won't be in the bridal party."  Seriously.  I wouldn't wait to drift apart after the wedding, I would start drifting away right then and there!

    This. What a brat. I don't think I would even go to the wedding after being hit with a line like that. Especially since you'll have a newborn anyway. 

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