September 2011 Moms

How to nicely say please leave me alone? Entertaining/socializing at 40 weeks? sorry, a bit of a ven

I'm 40w5d. My DH and I are lucky to have a supportive group of family and friends and they are very excited to meet our LO. Emphasis on very.

Maternity leave just started last week for me, and I was looking forward to a little me time. Lazily read a book? Attempt getting crafty?  Yes, please! Instead, I've been on a rather exhausting schedule of visits, fielding phone calls, errands and projects. I didn't plan to be busy, it just sorta happened. And everywhere I go, I hear the laundry list of things I should do go into labor.

Yesterday, I was informed that DH had invited a group of friends over for a "casual dinner."  I'M POOPED and CRANKY, but I don't want to be that girl who calls off a party. So I cooked food. I ran errands. And today I get to clean up the big ole mess.

I feel bad being upset at my loved ones who mean well and just want to celebrate this new chapter of life with us. I think they honestly think they are doing me a favor by keeping me busy.

Anyone have any tips on how to nicely say "Please leave me alone, I'd rather be a hermit than speak/hang out with/do things for you today."

Thanks, and sorry for the rant :)

Re: How to nicely say please leave me alone? Entertaining/socializing at 40 weeks? sorry, a bit of a ven

  • For starters I would get your DH on board. If he invited people over he should at least help with the cooking and cleaning.

    I would just tell people you can not talk, go out, etc. Stop answering the phone. 

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  • Just tell people you have last minute errands you need to run before LO gets here.  Also, this gem, "Sorry, I'm just really too tired to do anything with you today.  I barely slept because of painful contractions/I couldn't get comfortable....etc."

    Good luck!

  • Definitely talk to your DH about it! You totally deserve some resting time/ time to yourself before LO arrives!

    If it's the in-laws keeping you so busy, I would make DH say some thing (nicely)

    If it's my own family, when they asked me how I'm doing, I would casually say something like "doing fine, just can't wait til (tomorrow, next week, etc) when I can sit around the house and be lazy for once!" I don't think anyone would take that as you not wanting to spend time with them, but they would hopefully get the hint :)

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  • Tell them it's "doctor's orders" that you get as much rest as possible before your labor starts-no company, just relaxing.  They don't have to know that you're the doctor.
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  • I feel for you.  It can seem like everyone thinks this is one big party.  What they forget is pregnancy can take a huge toll on a woman's body. 

    I agree with the pp's, you should start by talking to your DH.  My DH knew from the get-go that once I stopped working, it was going to be relaxing/me-time.  His mother just flew in this weekend and knowing I was going to be off work told him that she would stay with me to "keep me company".  I don't want company.  He spoke to her and thankfully she's now staying with a friend.  It sounds really selfish and I hope she's not hurt by it but we're going to have visitors coming out of the woodwork after this baby comes and I don't think it's too much to ask for a little me time. 


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