1st Trimester

Hiding pregnancy from friends who ask

Before we got married, we told people we were going to start trying right away (when we were asked). Now, I wish I hadn't said anything. I'm pregnant (only 5 weeks along) and my friends keep asking if I'm pregnant yet. We don't want to tell anyone other than our parents until the end of the 1st trimester since this is our first, but I can only say "I don't know" for so long. Any ideas?

Re: Hiding pregnancy from friends who ask

  • I know - it's so hard to lie about it.  I had to do this just yesterday when someone asked when we were having children.  Just say that you aren't pregnant yet - point blank.

    I also have to say that I think it is so unbelievably rude that people ask those things.  It can be really hurtful to someone who is maybe having fertility issues and whatnot...  

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I have a friend who is dealing with this right now. She did tell me, but she hasn't told anyone else besides her parents. Our friends are baby crazed and very excited for people to start having babies. They keep asking and she's been forced to lie. She's anxious to get through the first trimester and be able to share the news, but she'll just have to keep lying to them until then. Good luck! I hope the time goes fast for you.

  • They are crossing the line by getting into your business.  Just tell them, "no"
  • "as soon as there are any pregnancy announcements to be made, I will be happy to tell you!"
  • "Sorry, nothing to report on the baby front"

    Followed by (if they keep pushing)...

     "As soon as there is baby news, we'll let you know!"

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  • I had a lot of friends asking me too because it had been several months since our miscarriage and they knew we were trying.  For the first couple of weeks after my BFP I just said "we're working on it".  Once I saw/heard the heartbeat at 7w1d I told a few very close friends, but I have been avoiding the subject as much as possible with everyone else.
    image image
  • I say we'll see, or I'll let you know when I have something to tell you.
  • image mamaofboys:
    "as soon as there are any pregnancy announcements to be made, I will be happy to tell you!"
  • image mamaofboys:
    "as soon as there are any pregnancy announcements to be made, I will be happy to tell you!"
    I like this
  • its hard but they are just excited for you. I told any of my close friends who asked (this is my 2nd pregnancy). I was surprised how many asked me- didn't see me drinking :)

    Personally, i cant keep it from close close people in my life. if anything happened I would need them to be there.

    so i guess to some it seems rude, but not so much in my world.

  • I have a friend who always just said - oh - it's too soon to tell about that.  Which was so true!  SHe wasn't telling yet!  Wink  I thought that one was clever!
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  • I'm so glad someone posted this.  I have a friend who keeps calling and I'm avoiding answering the phone b/c I know she will ask and I was afraid to tell her.  I guess I'll just try my best at lying lol.
  • I've had no problem lying to people who ask, I normally say something like "nope, not yet!" (even in church lol). I know they're friends and they're only asking because they care, but it's not their business until my hubby & I choose to tell them.

    I'm sure I'll have a lot of people saying "oooh, you lied!" but it doesn't matter, we're going to announce it when we're comfortable...it's our news to tell! =)

    Good luck in whatever you decide to do...just make sure it's on your time, not other people's.

    BabyFruit Ticker

    BFP #1 5/5/2011, EDD 1/12/2012

    Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

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  • I understand they are just excited and caring...but they are also putting you in the position to choose between telling before you are ready or lying...which makes it mean it is all about them and what they want and not about them considering your feelings... I just lied and I feel awful about lying but we haven't even told our parents yet!  
  • I also used a vague non-answer like "I'll definately let you know as soon as there's something to tell".  And it made me uncomfortable to be forced into the position of having to say that.  I do think it's rude to ask somebody, even if you know they are trying...they will let you know any updates when they wish.  Pushing is just pushy.

  • I agree with the earlier posts... its not their business. My hubby slipped up and now word has gotten around and pretty much everyone knows I'm pregnant know and I hate it. I'm only 5 weeks and I've miscarried before at 11 weeks. So if you're like me you'll regret telling people now.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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