Trying for 6 months or more, come in.

Eboom

Milliways:

Unpopular thought, but to be 100% honest, I don't even care any more. It isn't even that I feel hopeless, but I feel if we get PG, awesome, we are ready and would welcome it. But I am tired of spending every month thinking about what I don't have instead of enjoying what I do have. The love of a wonderful husband, the company of great friends and their children, a job that is challenging, charity involvement that makes me feel rewarded, the list goes on. I have spent too much time consumed with what is missing, yes something is missing, but my life is still worth living to the fullest.

Rant over  

 

 

 

very well put! I am getting to that point, and feel that way in waves. We've been trying for 13 months now and im going to an RE on the 15th to see whats going on or should I say not going on. I am trying to enjoy my new nephew (SIL got KU by mistake) and trying to think and concentrate on the positive things in life. I know Ill get to that point sometime, but right now its really hard to do.

meganruns

We're in month 8, cycle 7, and it's getting tougher each day.  Like a PP said, I feel like TTC is making me put my life on hold sometimes.  I always think, "hmm, should we plan on X, Y, or Z because what if I'm KU by then?"

Lately, I've been trying to shift away from that though, and just live my life.  I signed up for two marathons in the last month, one in May and one in October.  We're making plans to travel to the East Coast in April.  I'm perusing grad school catalogs for possible reentry into that world in the fall.  It's tough, but I can't keep staring at FF (hoping for an immaculate conception of some kind) or sighing longingly at friends' FB pics of their cute bumps or nursery themes.   

Thanks for this thread, OP, and thoughts and hugs to all of you 6+ ladies out there tonight!  

Gregermis

I'm on cycle #13... mine are short so it is still not quite a year yet.  I'm doing okay mostly because I've scheduled my yearly appointment with my OB and I know that we'll start testing soon if I don't get KU this cycle or next. 

DH has also started to be a little more proactive instead of "it'll happen when it happens".  He actually bought and WORE a pair of boxers!!!!

nursemama2be

I am on cycle #7, this has been a really emotionally difficult cycle. I "felt" pregnant in cycle 6 but it was a no go. I cried the whole weekend. Not only am I sad everytime a new cycle starts but I feel like I am letting our families down. I am starting to feel like my worst fears of not being able to be a mom may come true. It is really overwhelming.

loveypants

I am month 15 cycle 13. Looks like we are dealing with MFI.  For anyone that doesn't know, there is a weekly check in for those of us trying 6 months +.  It is called ATTGP check in.   I post it on Thursdays  

karaknr

:::STREAKS THROUGH 6+ NAKED FARTING BABY DUST!!!:::

 We started trying in June 10, but stopped after 7 months trying due to a deployment (so obviously didnt ttc then). But are about to start up again. Im hopeful though b/c my body is just not starting to do all that it wasnt before he left. On to optimal baby making I hope.

But I certainly hope we see a massive BFP wave coming from the 6+ crowd soon!!!

GREGERMIS: I know EXACTLY what you mean by being excited that your H is more proactive now. MH finally seemed to care about the fact that it didnt happen super quick and Im an just thrilled to feel like Im not alone in my feelings anymore. Its awesome. He is still his positive self, just more interested in the logistics of TTC. Which is nice.

brandywine2010

Ricola:

Lately I have been pretty down. We are on cycle #14 now and I am slowly but surely losing hope. I am taking Prometrium for the second time this cycle. I'm trying to get out of this funk, but seem to be stuck right now.

 

Awww. . .big hugs Ricola. ((((((<3<3)))))) 

[Deleted User]

I am on month 10 cycle 8. I am actually feeling pretty positive this cycle. I am re-committing to eating healthy, exercising, and enjoying time with DH. I am still waiting to O, though, we'll see how I feel in a couple of weeks.

tigerhearted

Hey ladies   Well last cycle was our 9th cycle.  We are currently TTA for 2-3 cycles.

It's kind of a paradox -- on the one hand, TTC has gotten easier...I'm not sucked into the extreme emotional roller coaster every 2 weeks like our first 5 or 6 cycles.

On the other hand...it is hard to keep a positive attitude, and not start worrying about what we can't control.

I'm currently feeling a bit negative tbh.  TTA has been emotionally rough on me, which I wasn't anticipating at all.  Not having as much sex has been rough too.  Hubby's been in a lot of pain, and we've only had sex once this cycle.  This is part of why we're TTA -- I didn't like that he was having to push himself to have sex when he was feeling so miserable...though we still managed to have fun and enjoy ourselves, I still felt a little guilty.  But now I'm kind of missing TTC because at least we were having sex at all!  I wasn't anticipating such a long dry spell...

Hubby has a blood draw tomorrow, another doctor appointment Thursday, and a colonoscopy consult in a couple of weeks.  I'm so tired of this...he's been in and out of the doctor for 8 months, and getting tests and procedures.  He's exhausted 24/7 from enduring the pain, and they still can't figure out what's wrong with him.  And I really wonder if they're taking him or the pain seriously...you'd think they'd speed it up a bit already!

Ah that turned into a rant, sorry girls.  I want my happy and healthy husband back

Jing22

I'm on Cycle 11.  Next month is the year mark for us.  I have tried to calm myself and let myself feel it is okay if it does not happen.  I've just come to this realization in the last couple of months though.  We were more lax about things last month and that seemed to help.  DH SA came back normal.  I have an appointment later this month with the specialist at my OBGYN office to talk about our other "options".  Lets see what that is a euphemism for;-)

faydre

Cycle 11 here.

What a long crazy ride this has been. I agree with PP that some parts of ttc are easier now, but the hopelessness is starting to kick in. Still waiting on biopsy Friday so I can figure out what happens next. Also I have an interview Sunday so that might slow me down a bit as well.

Some days it's so hard to be here, to read the bfp's, see your friends go through m/c's, watch people going through treatments month after month, and read for the millionth time some random drive-by post. Other days, I cant believe how lucky I am to have such a great support group, how happy I am to see a friend get a bfp or a plan, or even just to read those funny pip posts that make me laugh.

I hope you all get your bfp's soon. Edit: fix typing errors

tmsetzer83

Nikkoli110:

I've been trying since July 2010, on cycle #5. I was really down and frustrated at the end of last cycle (78 days), and got excited when we went and my RE put me on Clomid. I was excited at the beginning of the cycle, and then got frustrated when I didn't ovulate when I thought I would. Then I got a + OPK Sunday afternoon and Monday morning, but still don't have CHs yet. I hope they come soon! I am exhausted from all the sex lol, but DH sure is happy

Most of this!  We are in month 8, on cycle 6.  The last one was 69 days and anov..the RE isn't sure if the others were ovulatory.  I just wish my ovaries would work so I feel like I have a chance. My next monitoring appt is tomorrow, so hopefully things have progressed.

kscarlett5683

I have simply lost my patience and right now am even wondering if I should bother hoping anymore. I'm tired of this and I'm tired of being tired.

That's why I haven't been visiting TB lately.....that and I'm innundated with work so its a crazy time for me. *sigh*

Sorry I can't be more upbeat and helpful.

psubride1012

michaela080:

I'm right there with you guys with feeling down. I feel like I'm in a sort of limbo because I'm just constantly waiting. I'm not sure how to stop that cycle. It's really coming through in my eating habits. I've never so clearly seen myself emotionally eat as I have been recently, a clear feeling of trying to fulfill something I can't fulfill. I really don't want to feel like this, and I think I shouldn't feel like this but I can't seem to break out of it. I almost wonder if it's a kind of light depression, and I have never felt depressed before, not even when my first husband passed away. So then I kind of feel stupid for feeling "depressed" over TTC and still being in a normal time frame for it. Ok, vent over.

All of this. I am up 5 or 10 pounds since we started in July. I have been trying for 8 months, cycle 6. Had one bfp that resulted in m/c close to 6 weeks. I can't decide if I am comforted by the idea that I was able to achieve pregnancy or even more devastated that I had everything I wanted and it was ripped away. I switched to a new OBGYN (appointment next Wednesday) because my previous one was a total douche, and I am pursuing a consult with a pcos specialist to determine if that is still an issue for me. I am in a better place this cycle, but it was because we can finally start trying again after having to take off last cycle because of the m/c, so I am just happy to be back in the game. I think I will feel better once I can get answers regarding my longer cycles. It is super frustrating that most women get 12 chances per year to get ku and I only get 8 or 9 because my ovaries suck.

keiko2010

Thank you for this post.  I'm almost done my cycle 7 and it's definatley comforting to know that there are others out there. 

Believe it or not I'm becoming more optimistic and less stressed as the time goes by.  the first few cycles i was obsessed with every symptom...and i was worried that i would never get pregnant...i'm sure we've all been there!  I was really depressed and nothing seemed to cheer me up except to see that pink line...which never happened.

but I think that opening up to my family - my mom, grandmother and aunt - helped a lot.  They went through the same struggle (my aunt was trying for 5 years and my mom more than 6 months) and understand my feelings.  They assured me that the time will come for me and DH to have a baby.  Sometimes you just need to let things happen, and you shouldn't stress over things you can't control.   If the time comes for us to pursue further fertility treatment, then we will deal with that then.  Either way...we're going to have our baby....that's just how i feel now. 

 

jb2rn

thanks for the post. It's great to not feel alone and hear others stories.

this is cycle 8 for us. I went to see my PCP back in Dec, even though it had "only" been 5 cycles at that point. I was having spotting through my LP. They told me I had to wait a year for testing. I pushed, showed my charts and my concenrs. He got me into the GYN clinic after much pushing by me.

I am so glad he did. The NP couldn't do too much for me, but she did start the ball rolling. HSG was normal, dh's SA was normal, and then she ordered b/w, which was very abnormal.

All along I thought my post O Progesterone would be really low, due to the spotting. Nope, it was fine and showed I was ovulating, like my charts showed. Sadly, it showed an FSH of 15.6 (very high).

So, we are seeing an RE. We have been given little hope that IVF will even work, but hopefully we can try a few cycles, if we can afford it.

Soooo...it will be many more cycles before we have a baby. Hopefully we can have our own biological child. We aren't giving up hope, but the game has certainly changed.

I put my thermometer away, but we are still trying and basing if off CM and OPK's.

melissa721

I'll be starting cycle 7 when my period comes which I have to TTA. I'm still kinda sad about it all and I think I am putting too much stock in my first cycle where we can begin trying again which is not good. It will be an epic letdown if I get a BFN.

jenni888

Milliways:

romigu:

Milliways:

Unpopular thought, but to be 100% honest, I don't even care any more. It isn't even that I feel hopeless, but I feel if we get PG, awesome, we are ready and would welcome it. But I am tired of spending every month thinking about what I don't have instead of enjoying what I do have. The love of a wonderful husband, the company of great friends and their children, a job that is challenging, charity involvement that makes me feel rewarded, the list goes on. I have spent too much time consumed with what is missing, yes something is missing, but my life is still worth living to the fullest.

Rant over  

 

i think this is a fantastic way to think about and i am totally stealing your great attitude.  I am pretty sick of missing what I don't have and I agree that its important to enjoy that we are living right now.  

Don't give my attitude too much credit as it is far more indifferent than positive, like the little kid that doesn't get the toy that he wanted so he snubs the toy for candy or something 

I don't think so, at least not based on what you said. It's a wise way to think about it. There is a certain amount of taking what you do have for granted because you're focusing so much on what you want. We've only been at it for 6 months now, but I've already noticed that tendency in myself where I need to rein myself back in and remember, along the lines of what you said, that I have so much to be thankful for that I already have in my life. I can't imagine how much more difficult that must be after a year + of trying, but you are very strong to be able to keep that kind of focus on the things you have that matter.

bellaarchitect

We are at the end of our 6th cycle (which I am hopeful, as of a few days ago, isn't anovulatory).  If it doesn't happen this cycle, we are going ahead with an SA.  My husband is almost 39 and says he wants this done for his peace of mind.  I admit I am a little nervous thinking about all that though.  Seems like as each cycle ends I get progressively worse at dealing with the emotions.  Usually after my period is gone, I am definitely more up-beat and ready to make the most of it.  But, after this long cycle...I am starting to get "emotionally tired."