1st Trimester

Had pity sex last night.

I would say my sex drive is about a 0 right now.  I have been feeling so bad for DH since we have really only had sex like a hand full of times since my BFP... so last night we had sex.  I couldn't wait for it to be over.  Even kissing was making me nauseous.  Hope this buys me a couple of weeks.  LOL  :( 

How sad is that though.  Ugh.

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Re: Had pity sex last night.

  • you're a better wife then me! ha.

    We haven't had sex ONCE since my BFP. I feel awful but I'm so sick all the time.. I may cave and give in this weekend so he doesn't get too sad about it, lol.

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  • I'm so glad I'm not the only one in this boat.  I felt terrible the other night, but figured he was sick of hearing the "I feel sick" excuse, and just did it.  I'm praying this slump goes away soon.
  • image Rilly1212:

    I would say my sex drive is about a 0 right now.  I have been feeling so bad for DH ... so last night we had sex.  I couldn't wait for it to be over.  Even kissing was making me nauseous.  Hope this buys me a couple of weeks.  LOL  :( 

    How sad is that though.  Ugh.

    This is me too!  We did it last Saturday and it was AWFUL!  I just couldn't get into it and I was so dry.  I don't think either of us enjoyed it.  Shame too, cuz when we were TTC, things were just getting great in that department and now I have NO interest at all!  Poor DH. 

     

  • I prefer to call it "taking one for the team".  The best way to get your libido back is to just do it.
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  • image courtneybrooke921:

    you're a better wife then me! ha.

    We haven't had sex ONCE since my BFP. I feel awful but I'm so sick all the time.. I may cave and give in this weekend so he doesn't get too sad about it, lol.

    Ugh, we haven't had sex either.  I hope that seeing the hb yesterday and him getting excited may buy me some time.  My stomach is killing me today.

  • Haha thats exactly it! DF complains so much but Im like have any girl constipated, nauseas, crampy and with a headache and ask her if she feels sexy, Im pretty sure the answer is NO. lol

    All that being said we still do the deed every couple of days. I can tell you that I dont enjoy it at all but if it makes him happy....... *sigh*

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  • I would rather watch Real Housewives and lay on the couch with my cats than have sex.  But I "take one for the team" once a week so my husband will stop acting like a sad puppy.  I feel bad about it (ok, I really don't).  I am so glad I'm not the only one. 

    I"m 9 weeks 5 days (can't get the ticker to work).

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  • Me too!! I have zero intrest and then we did the deed a couple of days ago and I started spotting. So now  my doctor has told me that sex is a no no for me.
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  • Same here! We had sex twice in the past almost 3 wks..and last time I just felt so awkward and ready for it to be over with..and he was saying afterwards how it felt so different in a good way..ughh..that just grossed me out more!
  • Hilarious. My DH said he forgot what is was. Last time was the morning of the day we got the BFP, so we are probably over due, but the thought kinda grosses me out. My birthday is Sunday, but my first U/S is Monday, so I think I can get out of birthday sex by saying it might interfere......

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  • My interest isn't there intellectually but once underway (as it were) I actually quite like it. Just need to remember that DH has a normal appetite and that while I am happy to go on and on without a 'meal' he needs some to keep his strength up! ;o)
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  • I gave it up on Sunday, and the whole time he was like "Is this good for you?" and I'm like "This has nothing to do with me."  Bless his heart. 
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  • Ugh.. sex.. my husband hasn't even tried or hinted about it because he knows how miserable and barfy I am right now.  He's such a trooper.
  • You go girl! Between being hormonal.. aka kinda grumpy.. and having no Sex drive.. and not feeling fabulous we have done it like once or twice since we found out. I feel bad because he is starting to take it personally. I feel some pity sex coming on soon. You inspired me to suck it up ; )
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  • Our sex life was astounding before we got pregnant. But ever since I saw that BFP I have NOT been in the mood. We recently were told that we could not have sex for three weeks. Luckily he cares enough for our baby to not pester me for these three weeks...but I'm going to hate to see what happens when this ban lifts. :/

    BFP #1 05/25/2009, Blighted Ovum 07/10/2009, D&C 07/13/2009
    BFP #2 10/17/2010, Blighted Ovum 11/16/2010, natural miscarriage 12/03/2010.
    Dx with MTHFR 01/2011 with 2 A1298C mutations.
    BFP #3 03/06/2011 Chem. M/C 03/16/11
    BFP #4 01/05/2012, Please come out and meet us in September!
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  • I LOVE it that we ladies are all in the same boat!  I have to agree with one of the pp...when the deed is actually being done, it is kind of nice. Plus I feel so much closer to DH afterwards. If we go over a week I can feel us pulling apart a bit. So it's nice to have that few minutes (bahahaha) together to reconnect. We got busy this morning so I should be good for a week or so Wink
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  • My DH asked me if he was going thru a 11 month dry spell again now that I'm KU.  Last pg I was so dry and just not into it at all I think we only got together a few times.  This time he is traveling a lot so at least I get a break from the puppy dog eyes.
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    DD1, Kathleen 9/15/2007

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  • I feel like I'm going to need to give in to pity sex pretty soon. We have only done it once since our BFP. We did it the morning of the BFP, then again around 6 weeks. Haven't done it since. It's not even the nausea, it's the extreme exhaustion and bloating (plus no sex drive anyway) that makes me not want it. We haven't even slept in the same bed because of my sleep issues and his snoring. It sucks. He hasn't complained at all, though I've apologized for being "no fun" several times. He'll probably fall over if I initiate sex this weekend.....IF I do..we'll see.
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  • I have not been in the mood either. I dont feel sick, but I just am so worried its going to make me even more crampy...and ill just have one more thing to stress about. I just dont want to until our apt.

    but we did yesterday, and omg it was soooo good. I think by depriving myself of it just made it that much better.

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  • image Jessynlove:

    I have not been in the mood either. I dont feel sick, but I just am so worried its going to make me even more crampy...and ill just have one more thing to stress about. I just dont want to until our apt.

    but we did yesterday, and omg it was soooo good. I think by depriving myself of it just made it that much better.

    Sex (or I should say an orgasm) is usually a good way of getting rid of cramps. 

    Later in the pregnancy I got really 'interested' again last time. It was some of the best times ever. He felt like a superhero and I felt like the cat with canary feathers all around her!  

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  • I'm right there with you! I've let my DH 'go to town' on me a few times just to get him to leave me alone! Last night was the first night since the BFP that I actually enjoyed myself. When we were done I said "OMG I DO still like sex!! I'm so relieved!!" and high fived my DH. It was awesome.
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  • Sex has been the last thing on my mind, we had a amazing sex life before never going more than a day without it unless it was my time of the month. Now hes waiting at 3 days to get it, I still enjoy it but its still a chore somedays.lol  hopefully it gets better for all of us.
  • You girls are cracking me up.  I'm about to pop so I definitely don't want sex right now.  But, I had the opposite problem during most of my pregnancy.  My DH isn't interested in sex.  I guess the site of my belly is gross or something.

    Love reading your stories though.

     

    Angel

  • Same exact issue here, we haven't had sex in months and he has NO interest whatsoever. He's told me it has nothing to do with me (like that's supposed to make me feel better) but that he's completely grossed out at the thought of poking around when he knows his baby girl is in there. Lol.
  • I've been there too but once I did it, I enjoyed it and forgot how nice it was to be with my hubby!  The orgasm was pretty awesome too, which I read about but didn't think it would happen.  Try to do it when you're not feeling as sick and don't worry about the kissing...men don't really like to kiss anyway.
  • Though I am usually really sick most nights and we both know it would be a disaster, in the mornings I am less sick I offer to have to sex. It feels one-sided because of how nauseous I am, but I figure I can deal with it for him. In the first couple months when I am really, really sick we do it about every week to 10 days. Not really a big deal.
  • Tell me about it! I haven't been in the mood since I conceived. I don't know what to do to get in the moon.
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  • We had had sex once since the BFP and its was awful, I think we ened up fighting halfway through.....and that was 4 weeks ago.  Still no desire.....poor thing, he doesn't even ask anymore.  I hope this starts to change soon i 14-1/2 weeks preggers and still no libido! 
  • I am so thankful you posted about this!  I watched that cheesy J-Lo movie "The Back-up Plan" a few weeks ago.  I couldn't get over how "horny" she was at the beginning of her pregnancy blaming it on hormones and saying that a lot of women get like that.

    I am totally the opposite!  I normally have a very healthy sex drive and get very into.  Since becoming preggo, It's been the exact opposite.  I could care less if we do it.  We've only been doing it about once a week. I feel bad, but that's the most I can give right now.  I don't even care if I am "taken care of" or not, which is totally unlike me.

    Glad to hear I'm not alone.  Good luck ladies!  I hear it gets better later in the pregnancy.

  • I feel better that I'm not the only one.  I do it about once a week, for his sake.  I feel yucky and had a subchronic bleed with a previous pregnancy so Dr. says once I've had one, my risks are higher for having other one so I am cautious about that too.  I do also realize that having sex would not cause a bleed, but still, you ladies know how it is.

    Don't know about the rest of you ladies but I have been having really good sex dreams and I told hubby that was enough for me right now.  He wasn't too happy to hear that.

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