Babies: 9 - 12 Months

MIL and birthday cake problem--clicky (long)

So DH and I have had Cedrics birthday cake all planned out for his 'Green Eggs and Ham' birthday party. I plan on making cupcakes to look like the green eggs and a small green ham smash cake (in the shape of a ham). 

So the problem is this...my MIL makes wonderful cakes (she even made our wedding cake as well as a lot of other peoples) and now wants to make Cedrics cake.  I was very insistant on making his myself, and DH told me from the begining that I would have "to share", but he is now behind whatever I want.  She was over today and was asking about his cake, I explained what I was planning on making, and she asked to make his smash cake.  Not the one that I was planning...she wants to make a small sheet cake with a design of my choice on it.  She was very insistant that she needs to make it, that everyone would be asking why she didn't make his cake (and her family probably would ask).  She went on that she made all the kids cakes and needs to make Cedrics as well.  I really want to make his cake myself, I have always enjoyed making fun cakes and even though they are nothing like hers I still wish to make his cake and cupcakes as planned.  But we have a good relationship and hate to tell her no when she so obviously wants to make it.  I am getting upset thinking about what to do...so wish she didn't ask and waited to see if we would ask her:(  Her cakes are always the rich wedding cake icing that I don't care for (although a lot of people love it), and she needs to use that icing to decorate with.

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Re: MIL and birthday cake problem--clicky (long)

  • Is his party on his birthday? Would she possibly be okay with making a little cake for a small family celebration on his actual birthday, that she can attend?

    If that's not an option, I'd tell her that she is welcome to make a cake of her choosing, but, that you'll be making his smash cake and the cupcakes because it's a tradition that's important to you. Say it sweetly, and it would take a real b!tch to deny you that, as his mom. :)

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  • I would explain the need, as the mother, to make the baby's first cake.  She doesn't NEED to do that as grandmother.
  • I would let her make SOMETHING, but definitely stress the need for you to make his smash cake!
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  • Well, since you are being very gracious about considering her feelings, how about you doing the smashcake and letting her handle the cupcakes? I would have more connection to the smashcake personally since that is the one the the LO will eat. If she is unwilling to follow your theme, then (nicely) let her know that you will be handling the cakes for the party. GL! =)
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  • Have you thought about making the cakes together?  I'm not sure how well you get along, but you might want to suggest that it's really important to you to make X, but that she's welcome to help you make Y.  She might even have some tips for you.
  • If you really want to make the cupcakes and smash cake then do it. Tell her "Thanks, but no thanks."

    Like PP said, just explain that you feel, as a mother, you want to make his 1st birthday cake. End of story.

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  • image DanielsWife:I would explain the need, as the mother, to make the baby's first cake.  She doesn't NEED to do that as grandmother.This. Your baby, your party, your cake. If she wants to help, let her do something else, like help decorate your place or something. 
  • image smerka:
    Have you thought about making the cakes together?  I'm not sure how well you get along, but you might want to suggest that it's really important to you to make X, but that she's welcome to help you make Y.  She might even have some tips for you.

    I think this is a good compromise.  Tell her that it's important that you make the cakes, but that you would love her help with them and would like her to teach you her tricks!  If she's not up for that then that's her problem!

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  • I voted other because I would say forget about the cupcakes, you make a cute less rich smash cake for LO and she can make a sheet cake for everyone else. However, if the cupcakes are super important to you I'd vote for option two, and just make cupcakes for the other kids there, the smashcake for LO and MIL make the sheetcake for the other adults.
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  • image Daisy582:
    Well, since you are being very gracious about considering her feelings, how about you doing the smashcake and letting her handle the cupcakes? I would have more connection to the smashcake personally since that is the one the the LO will eat. If she is unwilling to follow your theme, then (nicely) let her know that you will be handling the cakes for the party. GL! =)

    Ditto.

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  • image Daisy582:
    Well, since you are being very gracious about considering her feelings, how about you doing the smashcake and letting her handle the cupcakes? I would have more connection to the smashcake personally since that is the one the the LO will eat. If she is unwilling to follow your theme, then (nicely) let her know that you will be handling the cakes for the party. GL! =)

    I think this is a great compromise.  My MIL is also a big cake person and her cupcakes are equally tasty and elaborate.  She should do a great job making little "egg" cupcakes.  Very cute theme, btw

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  • I would have her make a smaller sheet cake and his smash cake.  You should still make your cupcakes as well.  There is no problem with having a variety.

    As for the icing, I would ask her to use whipped icing (like the dairy free coolwhip kind) for your LOs cake.  I think really rich icing will be too much for him. 

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  • image Daisy582:
    Well, since you are being very gracious about considering her feelings, how about you doing the smashcake and letting her handle the cupcakes? I would have more connection to the smashcake personally since that is the one the the LO will eat. If she is unwilling to follow your theme, then (nicely) let her know that you will be handling the cakes for the party. GL! =)

    This was my thought too.

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  • I'd let her make a cake, and you make the cupcakes and smashcake as planned.  Let her have her tradition and you get to do his "real cakes."  If you have to throw it out, who cares?
  • "She went on that she made all the kids cakes and needs to make Cedrics as well."

    Kids as in her kids? Or other grandkids?

    Try to help her to understand that as it was important for her to do this, it's important for you also. She's had her turn with her kids. Your turn with your kids.

    I understand though. My mom makes great cakes and I have inherited that love from her. It's hard to not let her do it but I want to do it too! :) 

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