AGREED: NO vagina, NO INPUT. Why do men feel like that is any of their business (or anyone, for that matter?!)? The only men who are allowed to ask me about my birth plans are my husband and my doctor. I have had men ask me about breastfeeding and other pregnancy things, and I feel like Pam in the Office, telling Michael "Please dont talk about my breasts."
My hubby and I are planning to go without meds or an epi, but Im not going to tell you to or warn you about a the risks if you get an epi--thats YOUR body, YOUR baby, YOUR CHOICE! And I dont blame you, I've never had a child and I have no idea what I am getting myself in to...I might be begging for total paralysis a few hours in!
I hope dad is not invited to the delivery room....what he doesn't know will never hurt him:) Plus, perhaps the only people (other than medical staff) who should be in the delivery room are those present at conception:)
Wow! I wonder why he, who has never given birth, has such a strong opinion about a topic he obviously knows very little about? And I must say, I don't really believe animals experience the same kind of pain during birth that people do. Genesis 3:16 says that God would greatly increase women's pain (not that of every living thing) during childbirth as punishment for eating the forbidden fruit. That's my personal interpretation -- do with it what you will.
LMAO!!! I cannot believe what some dads, DHs, and even some mothers tell you what to do for the birth of your child!
My husband says I can do what I want...my body. Well for me I would love to go all natural, but I have a pain tolerance of about zero. So unless somebody wants to get hurt I NEED that epi.
I also love how I get advice from women that have never even had a child. My older cousin raised her sisters kids...but never actually had any of her own. She insists on always telling me on what foods to eat while pregnant, that I should never get an epi "cause it's just wrong" and my personal favorite... why would you want to know the sex of the baby? Personal preference lady. I would love to tell her off and ask how she gets these ideas when she has never been pregnant and why is it any of her business?
It is nice however that there are some people that say...your baby your business...in which I completely agree!!
You should tell you Dad that when HE is ready to deliver your baby, THEN he can decide on an epidural or not LOL!! I would have loved to have done a natural birth, but to tell you the truth, after the 2nd wave of intense labour pains, I opted for an epi myself...My son turned into an emergency C section, so I was all prepped for the full epidural and all..I don't know how anyone does it naturally. I will be using as many drugs as I need for this baby... Kudos to the amazing women who can do it naturally, but take the time to check out your options, and feel comfortable with the decisions you have made...No one will hold it against you!And I agree, if you don't have the option of having a baby, keep your sacred opinions to yourself!
I'm 26 weeks with my second child and I am pro epi. In my case I am such a softy. I hate pain and anyway I can get rid of it the better. I do realize that there are people that can take a knee scrape without calling an ambulance, unlike me... lol... So since this is your first child try the epi. If you don't like it ask the doctors to turn it down or completely off. The epi is actually a very flexible method of pain control. When I had my son the doctors told me that at any point they could adjust the flow of the meds so I could feel more or less. I chose to all but paralize my lower half. You can chose how much you'd like to feel just tell the doctors soon enough so that can adjust it for you.
Men and their advice...too funny! I had my first baby on March 28 and I was just going with the flow. I was going to try and go natural like my mother. I was getting through the labor pains the whole day, but my water still had not broken and I was dilating slowly. Eventually I agreed to some pain meds so that I could sleep. When they told me they were going to break my water and give me pitocin, I told them I wanted the EPI asap because I knew the pain was going to get worse. The only thing is, after 20 hours of labor, when it was time to push the Epi had worn off, therefore it ended up kinda being natural anyway...lol...and I pushed for 2 hours...
OK, I'm going to be the stick in the mud with some advice you can trash if you want...
Guys generally don't know how to appeal to our womanly emotional side, especially since childbirth is probably one of the most scary experiences of our lives. But I wouldn't say they don't have input. My husband was very supportive of me, my dad, brother and grandfather were not. But I listened to their concerns and it drove me to learn more about birth and the risks/benefits of interventions.
No one's birth is the same as another. And each mother needs to do what makes her feel safest to give birth. How can you make informed choices without the wisdom of others? Yeah, a guy has never given birth, but if he's witnessed it several times, he may be worth a listen. He wouldn't have said anything if he didn't care about you.
But what's soooo important is that each mother is responsible for her own birthing experience--making her own plans and being informed about the risks of "routine interventions" like epi. I had my first child 4 months ago, and was robbed of my home birth due to a physical limitation no one could foresee (yes, I had all my prenatal visits and ultrasounds)-- so I went the gambit of 42 hours in what I would call a wonderful labor (and naturally managed pain with walking, massage, positioning, birth tub and "singing") to end up in an emergency c section--the epi has left me with stabbing pains in my right leg and migraines ever since.
The best book I ever read was "Ina May's Guide to Childbith", by Ina May Gaskin. Her book shows you both the natural side and the medical side of birthing so you can be fully informed. A great documentary called "Pregnant in America" would really help to watch, in addition to "The Business of Being Born".
There is a place for medicine in tough situations, but in the majority of cases, childbirth is natural and a woman's last rite of passage. The natural hormones I experienced were wonderful and just as good as the epi I had when I needed them the most. I remember, it was not long ago. Trust yourself, your body works!
PS--Although we're not cows, you sure feel like one afterwards when breastfeeding ) So worth it though!
Ever since last night I've been seeing a lot of new posters. Trolls?
Anyway, I'm very pregnant and very irritable. If ANY guy (and my FIL is totally the kind of guy to pull that crap) told me not to do something during MY delivery I would kick him in the balls.
I also love all the assumptions that women don't do proper research on their own births. I'm also loving all the suggestions to watch "the business of being born" when we've been ripping on that movie for months around here.
And you can tell this to all the men in your life who think they're being scientific by telling you that "cows do it so you don't need drugs"
Because we walk upright, our pelvises are completely different from other mammals. Cows (and other animals) have a straight shot - push baby through that big hole in the pelvis, head to butt, and you're golden. The human pelvis is widest at the top side to side, narrow in the middle, and then wide again front to back - which means baby actually twists like a corkscrew on the way out. NOT easy!
Personally, I'm not doing an epi, because I reacted really badly to anesthesia and pain meds when I had my wisdom teeth out, and I don't want to take the chances of something going wrong with my first baby.
But birth being as complicated and personal as it is, you do what's right for you. I would have told Dad to stuff it. (But I can talk to my Dad like that!)
i have a friend who had a nature birth because her husband wanted her to. when i visited her at the hospital one of the first things she told me to do was get the epi. so i asked if she would next time. she said no because of her husband.
The movie talks about how things have changed over the years, what doctors and OBG's may not tell you about the negative effects on the drugs and the fact they they may have NEVER seen an actual "natural" birth. I will admit, it plays up a LOT on natural birth and midwives/doulas. I merely suggest you watch the full documentary as an informational piece for the birth plan of choice.
You certainly aren't the first to be harassed by male input about how us pregnant ladies should go about labor! I told my husband some of the ridiculous things I had heard around the Bump before... you know what he said? "Request that you can grab them by the balls and pull with all your strength. Repeatedly. And THEN ask if they would like some pain relief." It made me happy to know he was open to whatever I am open to.
On the plus side, my sister just had her baby today! She ended up having an epidural and said it was smooth sailing from then on out. I was impressed.
OMG...my dad would never dream of telling me how to have a baby! COWS...really, dad????? I too am pretty sure that if the vet asked them if they wanted drugs they would say HELLLL MOOOO!!!!!!
Also, to Judith...I am so glad I don't fall under your belief of a medicated birth. I felt wonderful after BOTH of my medicated births and was able to breastfeed BOTH immediately....I also didn't feel them stitching me and all that other wonderful stuff!
Every woman is different and must listen to HER own body
Your dad is just looking out for you and the baby. An epidural has the potential to slow down your labor, cause fetal distress, and even do weird things (if they don't stick you right, your entire body can go numb, and even cause breathing problems). The epi is not free from risk and definitely not the safest route.
Although natural birth hurts like hell (I speak from experience), the after effects are worth the pain. Actually, the pain of labor isn't constant. The contractions start, last 60-90 seconds, and stop. Then about a minute later, they start again. Your body knows how much pain you can handle and doesn't give you more. You can handle it, especially if you have good support from your husband and doula.
There is an incredible high after giving birth without medication. You will feel absolutely terrific afterwards. You will be tired, but alert and engaged. Your baby will also be alert and ready to nurse right away. This isn't the case with a medicated birth.
After labor, I was all about getting some Ibruprofen to ease the soreness. But while the baby is inside you, s/he is extremely vunerable to what you put in your body. I recommend going without the epi for the safety of both of you. Medication is the beginning of a very dangerous road that leads to dangerous births, even c-sections.
Your dad is just looking out for you and the baby. An epidural has the potential to slow down your labor, cause fetal distress, and even do weird things (if they don't stick you right, your entire body can go numb, and even cause breathing problems). The epi is not free from risk and definitely not the safest route.
Although natural birth hurts like hell (I speak from experience), the after effects are worth the pain. Actually, the pain of labor isn't constant. The contractions start, last 60-90 seconds, and stop. Then about a minute later, they start again. Your body knows how much pain you can handle and doesn't give you more. You can handle it, especially if you have good support from your husband and doula.
There is an incredible high after giving birth without medication. You will feel absolutely terrific afterwards. You will be tired, but alert and engaged. Your baby will also be alert and ready to nurse right away. This isn't the case with a medicated birth.
After labor, I was all about getting some Ibruprofen to ease the soreness. But while the baby is inside you, s/he is extremely vunerable to what you put in your body. I recommend going without the epi for the safety of both of you. Medication is the beginning of a very dangerous road that leads to dangerous births, even c-sections.
Wishing you a wonderful birth experience,
Judith
I had an epi, and my total labor was 3 hours. I walked into the hospital at 5 and was holding him by 8. If it slowed me down any I don't think that would have been an issue. Also, I was in a great mood right after the birth! It was this complete and total feeling of elation. We were both awake, alert and starving! An epi is actually one of the safest ways to go as far as meds are concerned. A spinal or IV drip can have more side effects than an epi. Every birth is different, and natural is not the way to go for some women.
Re: No vagina? NO INPUT
AGREED: NO vagina, NO INPUT. Why do men feel like that is any of their business (or anyone, for that matter?!)? The only men who are allowed to ask me about my birth plans are my husband and my doctor. I have had men ask me about breastfeeding and other pregnancy things, and I feel like Pam in the Office, telling Michael "Please dont talk about my breasts."
My hubby and I are planning to go without meds or an epi, but Im not going to tell you to or warn you about a the risks if you get an epi--thats YOUR body, YOUR baby, YOUR CHOICE! And I dont blame you, I've never had a child and I have no idea what I am getting myself in to...I might be begging for total paralysis a few hours in!
LMAO!!! I cannot believe what some dads, DHs, and even some mothers tell you what to do for the birth of your child!
My husband says I can do what I want...my body. Well for me I would love to go all natural, but I have a pain tolerance of about zero. So unless somebody wants to get hurt I NEED that epi.
I also love how I get advice from women that have never even had a child. My older cousin raised her sisters kids...but never actually had any of her own. She insists on always telling me on what foods to eat while pregnant, that I should never get an epi "cause it's just wrong" and my personal favorite... why would you want to know the sex of the baby? Personal preference lady. I would love to tell her off and ask how she gets these ideas when she has never been pregnant and why is it any of her business?
It is nice however that there are some people that say...your baby your business...in which I completely agree!!
OK, I'm going to be the stick in the mud with some advice you can trash if you want...
Guys generally don't know how to appeal to our womanly emotional side, especially since childbirth is probably one of the most scary experiences of our lives. But I wouldn't say they don't have input. My husband was very supportive of me, my dad, brother and grandfather were not. But I listened to their concerns and it drove me to learn more about birth and the risks/benefits of interventions.
No one's birth is the same as another. And each mother needs to do what makes her feel safest to give birth. How can you make informed choices without the wisdom of others? Yeah, a guy has never given birth, but if he's witnessed it several times, he may be worth a listen. He wouldn't have said anything if he didn't care about you.
But what's soooo important is that each mother is responsible for her own birthing experience--making her own plans and being informed about the risks of "routine interventions" like epi. I had my first child 4 months ago, and was robbed of my home birth due to a physical limitation no one could foresee (yes, I had all my prenatal visits and ultrasounds)-- so I went the gambit of 42 hours in what I would call a wonderful labor (and naturally managed pain with walking, massage, positioning, birth tub and "singing") to end up in an emergency c section--the epi has left me with stabbing pains in my right leg and migraines ever since.
The best book I ever read was "Ina May's Guide to Childbith", by Ina May Gaskin. Her book shows you both the natural side and the medical side of birthing so you can be fully informed. A great documentary called "Pregnant in America" would really help to watch, in addition to "The Business of Being Born".
There is a place for medicine in tough situations, but in the majority of cases, childbirth is natural and a woman's last rite of passage. The natural hormones I experienced were wonderful and just as good as the epi I had when I needed them the most. I remember, it was not long ago. Trust yourself, your body works!
PS--Although we're not cows, you sure feel like one afterwards when breastfeeding
) So worth it though!
What's with all the under 10 posts posters?
Ever since last night I've been seeing a lot of new posters. Trolls?
Anyway, I'm very pregnant and very irritable. If ANY guy (and my FIL is totally the kind of guy to pull that crap) told me not to do something during MY delivery I would kick him in the balls.
I also love all the assumptions that women don't do proper research on their own births. I'm also loving all the suggestions to watch "the business of being born" when we've been ripping on that movie for months around here.
I'm ready to throw something out a window.
Of course you're not a cow!
And you can tell this to all the men in your life who think they're being scientific by telling you that "cows do it so you don't need drugs"
Because we walk upright, our pelvises are completely different from other mammals. Cows (and other animals) have a straight shot - push baby through that big hole in the pelvis, head to butt, and you're golden. The human pelvis is widest at the top side to side, narrow in the middle, and then wide again front to back - which means baby actually twists like a corkscrew on the way out. NOT easy!
Personally, I'm not doing an epi, because I reacted really badly to anesthesia and pain meds when I had my wisdom teeth out, and I don't want to take the chances of something going wrong with my first baby.
But birth being as complicated and personal as it is, you do what's right for you. I would have told Dad to stuff it. (But I can talk to my Dad like that!)
I can understand your father's concern after recently watching "The Business of Being Born"
The movie talks about how things have changed over the years, what doctors and OBG's may not tell you about the negative effects on the drugs and the fact they they may have NEVER seen an actual "natural" birth. I will admit, it plays up a LOT on natural birth and midwives/doulas. I merely suggest you watch the full documentary as an informational piece for the birth plan of choice.
Please let me know if it helped.
Krista C.
LOL - this!!!
but... how did this post end up with so many replies from people that rarely post here??? I just thought that was odd....
You certainly aren't the first to be harassed by male input about how us pregnant ladies should go about labor! I told my husband some of the ridiculous things I had heard around the Bump before... you know what he said? "Request that you can grab them by the balls and pull with all your strength. Repeatedly. And THEN ask if they would like some pain relief." It made me happy to know he was open to whatever I am open to.
On the plus side, my sister just had her baby today! She ended up having an epidural and said it was smooth sailing from then on out. I was impressed.
Its linked in the bump emails.
OMG...my dad would never dream of telling me how to have a baby! COWS...really, dad????? I too am pretty sure that if the vet asked them if they wanted drugs they would say HELLLL MOOOO!!!!!!
Also, to Judith...I am so glad I don't fall under your belief of a medicated birth. I felt wonderful after BOTH of my medicated births and was able to breastfeed BOTH immediately....I also didn't feel them stitching me and all that other wonderful stuff!
Every woman is different and must listen to HER own body
haha!
Took the words right out of my mouth
I had an epi, and my total labor was 3 hours. I walked into the hospital at 5 and was holding him by 8. If it slowed me down any I don't think that would have been an issue. Also, I was in a great mood right after the birth! It was this complete and total feeling of elation. We were both awake, alert and starving! An epi is actually one of the safest ways to go as far as meds are concerned. A spinal or IV drip can have more side effects than an epi. Every birth is different, and natural is not the way to go for some women.
OMG, that is hilarious. Sounds like you have a good sense of humor about it. I wonder why he cares so much? Seems odd to me but who knows!