Attachment Parenting

How would you explain this to my husband?

LO is very attached to me (which is great! ;-)

He claims I've spoiled her since I've always used a Moby wrap when we're out and about. He thinks this is why she always just wants me / freaks out when other people hold her and when I leave to the room.

I've been interested in getting a wrap since the Moby is not going so good now that she's heavier and he thinks it's a bad idea.

I don't know how to convince him since it is true she isn't exactly a "social" baby ;-)

"If you find a mate in life, you should be loyal. In your case, grateful."
SAHM to two sweet girls, both born at home; Baby #3 in 2013!
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Re: How would you explain this to my husband?

  • Ditto separation anxiety.  I've heard that it usually starts happening around 8-10 months for most babies and is just a phase...DD has been like that since she was 8 weeks old.  Luckily my H knows that is just how she is and he wears her almost as much as I do.
  • separation anxiety is a completely normal phase for infants. it can be anxiety at being away from the primary or both parents. or it can be anxiety when being around any new caregiver/person.

    even at 1 year old, it took DD 1 week to get comfortable with her new classroom teachers at daycare when she switched rooms. your LO needs time to become familiar with the other people.  

    I've read before that biologically from an evolution standpoint it makes sense because it usually happens when LO is becoming more mobile. so it's kind of nature's way of keeping the LO close to you (as in, they won't tolerate you being far away) just at the time when their motor skills are kicking in and they have the ability to get into trouble if left alone - like crawling somewhere. kind of interesting.

    wearing her when you are out and about has nothing to do with it.

    regular babywearing has nothing to do with spoiling. trust me, the LO will let you know when they are ready to be put down and explore on their own.

  • Think about how frazzled she would be if she needed this closeness and she hadn't gotten it all these months.

    You don't "toughen-up" a baby.  You either meet their needs or you don't. 

    And if you don't, you have a miserable, crying insecure child.  Not one that suddenly finds social skills and loves strangers and being apart from their caregiver.  The social skills come after they have secure bonds and trust.

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • Thank you, livinitup. I agree entirely. It's how we react as parents -- starting at Day One -- that undercuts our children's confidence.
  • Since we're recommending -- best, most civilized discussion (okay, maybe it's an argument) re pro's and cons of attachment parenting and raising confident kids is at http://bit.ly/bzWyAZ.
  • image McDume:
    Since we're recommending -- best, most civilized discussion (okay, maybe it's an argument) re pro's and cons of attachment parenting and raising confident kids is at http://bit.ly/bzWyAZ.

    Are you Janet?

  • Definitely separation anxiety - and is considered a milestone. Completely normal & expected from a child that is well bonded to the mother (or primary parental caregiver).
  • image MissyOlivePants:
    Definitely separation anxiety - and is considered a milestone. Completely normal & expected from a child that is well bonded to the mother (or primary parental caregiver).

    This. 

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  •   "I want my mommy" syndrome is 100% normal and there will come a time when she will want him. see posts above for back up info : )  hope he sees the light
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