2nd Trimester

Since when does not finded out the sexes make me a poor planner?

So far, most people have responded fine when I tell them we're not finding out what the babies are until they're born.

Except 2. Who actually berated me, telling me I wouldn't be able to plan without knowing what they were. One was actually the father of twins.

Really? I mean, get real people! It's not like I'm not buying cribs or any baby supplies - we're just getting neutral big ticket items (which we would do regardless in case we have more children).

So basically the only thing I'm not doing is buying gender specific clothing. And THIS makes me a bad planner? Really?

BTW - this came from the same guy (who has b/g twins) who asked me if fraternal twins can even be the same sex Indifferent
 

Re: Since when does not finded out the sexes make me a poor planner?

  • I didn't even need to read anything other than the post title to say, my thoughts EXACTLY.

     But I did read the post, and that guy is an idiot.

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  • Since ultrasounds became routine, and everyone thinks that everyone else should find out the gender, because it will make buying stuff for showers easier.

    We were team green until baby decided, that we should know in NO uncertain terms that he was a boy!  But we still are not telling anyone else...well except you lucky ladies!

  • Yeah, sounds like very intelligent advice from a very intelligent man  Sleep

    I would say try your best to avoid throat punching them if you get more comments like this!

     

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  • Wow, I think it's impressive to hold out and not find out! I say good for you, and dont let the stupid people get you down.
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  • Don't let it get to you.  Everyone thinks their way is the only way.  I am sure that not finding out is fun!  :)
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  • He's a big stupid-head!
  • Eh, it goes both ways. Those of us who do plan on finding out get criticized that we are ruining the best days of our lives, etc etc

    Opinions are like azzholes...

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  • I don't get that at all.  You can be prepared with necessities!  And having gender neutral stuff is good if you want future children!  We are not planning to find out this time, and i can still plan.  I know a lot of people who didn't find out and they had everything they needed! 

    Rachel

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  • How can you possibly be prepared for a baby, much less two unless you know whether or not they like sports or princesses or farm animals or ice cream?!

    Oh wait.  Preferences come later.

    People are idiots.

    I found out DD was a girl after she was born. Aside from diapers, I didn't have to go out and buy anything new for her until after she was 3 months old.  Poor planning, indeed.  And on the bright side, since most everything we got prior to DD's birth was GN, I don't have to do much to prepare for this new LO, either.  I'd say that not finding out DD's sex ultimately made me a better planner.

  • It's really annoying. I am a huge, OCD-like planner and get that response all the time. People, I am PLANNING. I just don't have any desire for my kid to be born in a pink or blue world immediately, and I like surprises. And the gender neutral stuff will be awesome for more kids.

    I would be scared of the tech being wrong. I know people this personally happened to. Nooo thanks.

  • UGH! I don't see why waiting to find out the sex is such a big deal.  Get over it people.  It's not like I have to have my Childs entire life planned out for them even before they are here!  What's there to be prepared for?  There's really not much difference between a penis and a vagina.

    My Aunt asked me this weekend if I changed my mind yet about finding out the sex.  I said why would I?

     

  • image voelkels:

    Since ultrasounds became routine, and everyone thinks that everyone else should find out the gender, because it will make buying stuff for showers easier.

    We were team green until baby decided, that we should know in NO uncertain terms that he was a boy!  But we still are not telling anyone else...well except you lucky ladies!

    You're right, people think they need to know.  We didnt' share with people with either of our first two even though we found out.  My parents didn't want to know so it was fine.  My IL's were awful about it and gave us a hard time.  We are not planning on finding out this time,but both times before we saw without a tech even telling us-that's how not shy our kids were- so if we find out, we're still not telling anyone.

    I went to my BFF's shower and she got so many blankets and clothing and hardly nothing she needed and had registered for, so that really confirmed our decision to not tell with the first one.  People tended to stick with the registry since they didn't know what we were having.

    Rachel

    Kylee 9/20/06 Elijah 10/13/07 Adleigh 12/9/09 Micah 12/17/11

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  • image heather_09_15_07:

    I didn't even need to read anything other than the post title to say, my thoughts EXACTLY.

     But I did read the post, and that guy is an idiot.

    Same here.

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  • image Mrs.tlcS:

    How can you possibly be prepared for a baby, much less two unless you know whether or not they like sports or princesses or farm animals or ice cream?!

    Oh wait.  Preferences come later.

    LOL..seriously.For thousands and thousands and millions of years no one knewbefore hand.

    You are fine. Its weird how some people think that their way of thinking is the only way. DH's coworker was pissed that dh was going with me yesterday to find out the sex. He didn't so, why should my dh?

    People are so self centered sometimes!

    and that guy you mentioned is just an a-hole!

  • image Mrs.tlcS:

    How can you possibly be prepared for a baby, much less two unless you know whether or not they like sports or princesses or farm animals or ice cream?!

    Oh wait.  Preferences come later.

    LOL..seriously.For thousands and thousands and millions of years no one knewbefore hand.

    You are fine. Its weird how some people think that their way of thinking is the only way. DH's coworker was pissed that dh was going with me yesterday to find out the sex. He didn't so, why should my dh?

    People are so self centered sometimes!

    and that guy you mentioned is just an a-hole!

  • I feel the same way about team green-ers who use the argument that "I want it to be a surprise."  So do I, I just want to find out the surprise in a nice comfy room half way through, rather than when I'm ripped open and screaming and crying in pain.  The whole "it's not a surprise if you find out early" thing really irks me.
  • on the contrary, I have a friend who tends to be an over-planner and gets obsessive about everything, so she chose to not find out so she wouldn't stress out for 4-5 months about every detail! knowing yourself is half the battle, kwim?
  • Personally a lot of people don't find out the sex of their babies no matter how many there are. I think he is an idiot. And buying neutral stuff for the babies is just fine. Don't mind him do what you guys want..
  • Seriously?

    This is one of many decisions that is nobody's business but your own

    And buying gender neutral is probably smarter, but really hard to do once you know the sex

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  • Everyone in my family that I have told I want to find out, has said "NO DON'T DO IT. Just because you know the sex doesn't mean you can be better prepared for parenthood!" I'm not taking their advice and maybe next time I won't find out, but I don't think not finding out makes you a bad planner.

    Stick out tongue to that guy. He sounds like an idiot

  • I agree - that guy is an idiot.
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  • OMG that's crazy, I'm not big on surprises, but if I was...... I would defiently wait to find out the sex.  Best surprise of your life I think.

     

  • People are idiots.

    I actually had the opposite problem... 3 of my cousins all have 3 kids. None of them found out the sex, and when we told them we were finding out we were barraged with how could you, you ruin the surprise, that is so wrong, why would you do that, etc. Um, to each his own?

  • We're not finding out either and have had these type of comments,  they suck.  Only my SIL seems to be happy that we're not finding out,  she likes the surprise aspect of it
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  • Eh, this guy is obviously an idiot. I wouldn't have even given his opinion a second thought.
  • I am in the same boat! People are amazed that my DH & I don't want to find out! We want more than 1 baby, so of course I'm going to buy neutral things. I feel it's the one surprise nobody can ruin for you and I'm not turning back! As I say this, my ultrasound is tomorrow! I hope I can keep this mindset! Surprise
  • We found out what we are having but, we still bought everything nuetral so that we could reuse as much as possible with our future kids (Including clothes)  The only "boy" stuff I have so far is all hand-me downs from my brother.  So I do not hink that it makes you a bad planner!!! And anyways either way if you find out or not people like to voice their  opinions... my MIL and FIL along with many others were angry with us because we found out what we were having.  They said that we ruinied the biggest surprise of life.  But we wanted to know the same as you didn't it was our choice and they'll just have to get over it Wink
  • YES!! omg i got this too!!! we're team green and i was told "there is NO WAY you can be prepared if you dont find out"!! And this was coming from another PREGNANT woman! (who obviously is finding out).

    I didnt know what to say!! But apparently the color of the crib bedding = TOTALLY PREPARED!! ughhhhhhhhhh 

     

     

     

  • Right there with you....we are not finding out what we are having. People think we are totally out of our minds for some odd reason!! We just like the suspense and can overcome the urge to have to know. Plus it's one of life's only surprises and whatever we have we will be totally thrilled with ;-) Good luck with everything!!
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