Birth Story- warning- complications mentionned

mskeenan

Oh. My. Word. Your little guy is just precious !! I literally squealed out loud he's so cute (sorry the raging hormones are making me reactions to babies a little cray ) . But seriously , what a beautiful child . I am so happy you get to go home . You have been working your ass off and I continue to be amazed by your strength and positivity through all of this . I know it can't be easy . Will you be doing outpatient rehab from here on out ? 

KidShrink

Thanks ladies! I have to agree, the kid is pretty darn cute. And he's SO cuddly! We just spent the evening watching a movie and he was cuddled up to my chest the entire time until I had to get up because my back was hurting and it was time for me to pump. He's since been on his daddy's chest. I hope he always stays this cuddly. 

I'll be getting outpatient therapy at home for the next few weeks (we're waiting tonfind out how much, should be getting a call on Monday), and then I'll be getting it at the hospital nearby. I also have an exercise program given to me by the physio in rehab, so I'll continue doing that in the meantime. What's fun now is that today, I was able to use our stroller as my walker Apart from the fact that I don't walk super fast, DH said you would never know (although he said that clearly there's something wrong with me because I was losing the maternity jeans I was wearing...I guess one of the advantages of eating too much hospital food is that I'm back to my pre-preggo weight and you probably couldn't tell Inwas pregnant juat a few weeks ago). Hoping to go on short walks in the neighbourhood over the next few days. 

emsmama15

So happy you're home with your family @KidShrink.  We always say babies do better at home (I work in NICU).  I'm guessing Mamas do too.  Your recovery will surely go faster/better with your little one right there as motivation every day!!  

DSTtots4lyfe

So happy to read the updates and see you home, healthy and happy!

Drove2u

@kidshrink how has it been being home?

KidShrink

@Drove2u : it's been nice to get into our own little routine and to be in our things. I'm just extremely frustrated with not getting the in-home therapy I've been promised. There are cons to having publicly funded health services I guess...I got a call today for some physio, but turns out the person isn't available til Monday at least and hadn't realized I've been getting nothing for a week...so now it's up in the air. We were also hoping to get some support for me in the house as my husband needs to be able to go the the office every now and then. Doesn't seem like that's something that's offered, so we need to figure something out. I've been getting pretty creative with ways to transport our little guy from one place to the next, using our Peg Perego Siesta high chair (reclines for newborns to 'sit' it and has wheels). We're trucking along, but some days are harder than others, on me emotionally, just wanting my old life/legs back, and on DH...it seems like the stress from the past few weeks has caught up to him now that the adrenaline from the beginning has gone. Hopefully I'll have some happier news to share soon (oh, how I'd love to say that I have normal sensation back in my legs/feet...my life is having my feet 'asleep' all the time, and it's annoying). I'm also struggling with back pain after bending down to tend to our little guy or picking him up, which is really hard.  Thankfully, our little guy is super cuddly, and sleeping with him on me is just the most awesome thing. 

tvh1982

I'm sorry to hear that the in-home therapy has let you down @kidshrink. 
Let just hope they'll do a better job next week.
Way to go on finding ways to move your little cuddly baby, and so happy to hear he's making things easier for you.
Even though you feel like you shared happy news, I still believe you making tons of progress.
Hope the three of you get a little break soon from all of what has happened and that help will be on its way.

KidShrink

Little update: the in-home therapy really wasn't worth waiting for and so we'll be seeing someone for private physiotherapy. We had a pretty good weekend: on Saturday, we went to a street festival in our town and I managed to walk a total of about 6km over a few hours, with a nice break to eat out on a patio. It was a beautiful day, I felt great, and our little guy was amazingly cooperative. The weather wasn't great yesterday, so we stayed in and relaxed. DH is 'officially' back at work, but will be working from home most of the time. A good friend who's also on mat leave will be coming to hang out with me tomorrow and Thursday so DH can go to the office. We had a planned trip back home in two weeks which we're going to try to make happen provided I'm given the okay from my doctor on Friday. I think some time with friends and family will do us good. I also arranged for DH to go back to his martial art in Wednesday by having a friend come over...anything that brings us closer to a normal life helps right now. The two physios I saw reiterated how I needed to give my body time to heal, so I'm trying hard to be patient (that doesn't come easy to me!). I think it's especially hard because of how quick the improvements were in the beginning (new things each day), and now it feels much slower. 

mskeenan

Awesome @kidshrink ! I'm glad you were able to get out of the house a bit and that you have such good support to help you out as your DH returns to working . 

I know it must be so hard to stay patient with yourself when you want things to just return to normal asap . i would be the same way . But keep up the amazing work ! You really have come such a long way in such a short period of time . How often do you have therapy ? 

DSTtots4lyfe

@kidshrink so glad things continue to improve! The milestones may be farther apart, but they're larger and everyday sounds like you are taking all the joy you can. Glad the physiotherapy is set up, hope it is a better fit!

Colleen0516

@KidShrink you are an AMAZING person. You have been through hell and back, several times, and yet you speak with such poise and grace- it's inspiring. 
You're story makes my heart heavy and happy all at once. I am so happy to hear about all the great progress you are making!
Your son is ADORABLE and I'm so happy  that you and him have a long and healthy life togehter wishing you all the best! 

mskeenan

How you doing @kidshrink ?? 

KidShrink

I keep on trucking! Physio continues to be a joke, but I can do a pretty decent job on my own...I have to call this place my doctor has referred me to tomorrow...they've been supposed to call me for a week. They offer pool physio, which the neurosurgeon has recommended. I spoke with him last week to get his okay to carry our growing boy (he's now over 10lbs, so the physio that came home- who discharged me because I'm doing too well- worried that maybe I shouldn't). We went back home this weekend and it did me good to change scenery and see friends and family. I'm now walking pretty well, without any support. We went to the zoo last weekend and I managed to walk 9km pushing the stroller (which I use for support for longer walks). I even managed to go up 3 stairs with the little guy in my arms today. I don't have too much back pain, except when I'm overdoing it. All in all, things are looking up, and to most people, I probably don't look like there's anything wrong. The only annoying thing is that I haven't (yet?) recovered full sensation in my legs (especially in my right knee and my feet). I've been given the okay to try to drive again, so I need to just go and try it. We just haven't had a chance. Hopefully that'll give me some more independence, and would also allow me to go to appointments on my own. Hubby is back at work, but working from home on days where I or the baby have appointments, so it's been tough for him to manage it all. Thankfully, his bosses continue to be amazingly understanding. 

I have an appointment with the neurosurgeon this Friday, and we'll be scheduling an MRI to see whether another surgery will be necessary in the short term to remove the part of the tumour that is still there. I'm hoping that because it is slow growing, we'll be able to put that on the back burner for 5-10 years. My OB has said that provided that I got the okay from the neurosurgeon, we could try for #2 in a couple of years. I will most likely need to have a RCS, this time under general anesthesia. Not ideal nor my dream birth, but if that's the only safe way for me to have another little one, I'll take it. I also just got back on the pill (mini pill) in order to keep my endometriosis in check as much as possible- there's only so many surgeries a girl can take (I've had 4 surgeries all in my abdomen or back in 1.5 years...). 

emsmama15

@Kidshrink - you're amazing.  I'm so happy for you!  Just wanted to pipe in that general anesthesia isn't in anyone's birth plan, but it can still be an amazing experience.  I found out about 2 weeks prior to my first delivery that I'd have to have general anesthesia due to a congenital brain malformation (Chairi) that I was told would have zero impact on my life and was an "incidental" finding on a brain MRI I had for migraines.  Yeah right.  Seriously though, that'll be nothing but a blip after what you've already been through!  

Drove2u

Wow you are doing so well. So happy to hear about your progress. Hang in there! 

AdorkablePixie

@KidShrink I am glad to hear that you are doing so well!! I am so glad to hear of your progress. It makes me so happy for you. I hope the MRI results come back in your favor so you can put off a surgery a little bit.

mskeenan

Wow @kidshrink ! Loving all the progress still . I'm sorry physiotherapy hasn't been good but that aquatic therapy sounds like a wonderful option . 

Im sorry you haven't gotten all the sensation back in your legs . What do your docs say about it ? Or can they give you any idea of what to expect ?

good luck with your appointment on Friday ! Thanks for continuing to keep us updated . Your strength and perseverance through all you have been through is truly an inspiration !! 

KidShrink

Thanks everyone! @mskeenan I'm curious to see what the neurosurgeon says on Friday. What I've been told from the beginning is that whatever I gain back within the first 3-6 months after the surgery is what I will be recovering. At the same time, it takes a while for nerves to regenerate (1 inch per month). So I'm told I need to be patient, yet I see a bit of a deadline coming up... My husband finally let me try to drive again last night (on my own, while the LO was sleeping) and I can absolutely do it! He wants to test me as he's still worried about me driving with the little guy in the car. It felt so good to have that independence again! 

KidShrink

Update from my appointment with the neurosurgeon: he's very happy with my progress and think I can continue to improve for a few months still (at least to 6 months post surgery). He was trying to test just how well I was doing and asked me to walk on my heels, then walk on my toes. I hadn't practiced either and managed to do both  

I'll be getting another MRI within the next two months to see where things are at. From there, I'll be meeting with him again, but likely I'll just continue to have MRIs every few months for a while. My tumour is what they call a dumbell tumour- a piece in the spinal canal (which was removed), and then a piece passing through the foramen (where the nerve comes out of the spine- in my case, this has become enlarged because of the tumour, showing it has been there for a long time), and the last piece on the right of my spine, the size of an egg. I actually had never asked what side it was on, so it was reassuring to know I don't experience any pain from it still. When I do get back pain, it's always on the left. At this point, I would need another surgery if the tumour became too big and created issues, or if it grew back in the spinal canal. So fingers crossed I don't need this for a long time! As long as things look good, he doesn't have concerns about another pregnancy, but agrees that erring on the side of caution with a RCS and general anesthesia might not be a bad idea even though from his perspective, an epidural wouldn't be an issue if there's nothing in the spinal canal. I just don't think I could handle the stress of what if something happens... 
I also got an email from the RE's nurse asking about pregnancy outcomes for their stats. One question was about complications...so I got a call from the nurse and the RE will be in touch with me when he's back from vacation concerning the management of endometrosis. 
And just because he's too cute, he's our little guy who turned 8 weeks old yesterday  

Drove2u

Oh my goodness too cute is right. He's adorable!! Glad things are continuing to look up. 

tvh1982

Your such a rock star @KidShrink! Amazing to read how you are doing! 
Keep up that great work you do.

And oh boy, did my internet just broke down due to a cuteness overload! Oh my, he is just so adorable!

mskeenan

Omg ! He is sooooooo precious . You made my baby fever go even more out of control with that pic . He has such a sweet face !!

I'm really glad to read that your neurosurgeon is so pleased with your progress ! You should be really proud . Having a newborn is already hard enough , from what I hear . The fact that you have managed that along with making such huge strides with your physical recovery is truly amazing . Keep it up . 

krbjoy

@KidShrink so glad you are doing better! I think of you often and am happy I checked in to see your progress! Your little one is so dang cute!!! 

KidShrink

Thanks ladies! I keep on getting a little better each day. I'm now going out with our little guy (driving and takimg him in/out in the carseat is now no problem)- this morning, I managed to go to the doctor with him (unfortunately he's got a bad case of cradle cap that got infected), do a return at BRU and go to the dentist. It makes me feel great to be able to be so productive and 'normal'. I've been going to the pool and that helps a lot, on top of the exercises I do daily. We also ended up at a salsa festival last weekend. Baby slept through it (yes, he's that awesome! And if I have a single piece of advice, please do yourself the favor of exposing your little to all kinds of noise right from the get go. Our little guy seems to have gotten used to noise having spent so much time in the hospital with people coming in and out, and he can sleep through just about anything). And, because he was sleeping, daddy and I decided to give dancing a try because it was killing me to feel like I couldn't. So it still feels weird in my legs a little and I couldn't do some moves I used to, BUT it apparently looked just fine. So I now dance in my house...added physio! 

ETA: This post got cut, but I meant to add that they grow up so fast, and I'm now able to embrace it rather than feel like I'm missing out on him somehow. My second and last piece of advice is to enjoy the little moments with baby as much as you can. So here's our LO's latest skills: being able to hold his head up nicely in tummy time!

dragonfaerie

@KidShrink You are amazing! It has been wonderful to keep up on your journey and see you (and your little one's!) progress.

tvh1982

Thats wonderfull to ready @kidshrink. And yet again we have a cutness overload on this post. He is really adorable
Totally agree about getting them used to noise. My little brother is 13 years younger then me, and grew up with older sisters..we had music, fights and other noise going on and the poor fella had to sleep through it.
At my aunts so many years of marriage he was sleeping on a blanket on the floor in a greek restaurant next to a live band
Problem is..he is now 20 and we still have trouble waking him up..throwing in my nieces (5-7) to wake up uncle Bjorn is not always doing the trick either

KidShrink

@tvh1982: I'll probably kick myself once he's a teenager, but I'll enjoy the next 12 years of nice sleep for everyone first
Did you end up finding out whether you're having a boy or girl? 

tvh1982

Edit as text didn't post

Definitely enjoy the next 12 years @kidshrink...so much easier to dance Salsa when your little one is asleep.

I fought out I'm having a girl. Which had some getting used to as I was convinced I would get a boy.
Now I'm caught up and very thrilled:)

KidShrink

@tvh1982: congrats! I still remember the moment we found out what we were having as if it were yesterday. I had a boy feeling but both DH and I were going back and forth between boy and girl. Even though then I thought it'd be easier to have a little girl (I know what that's like), now I wouldn't have it any other way...I absolutely love my cuddly little boy. Hopefully we'll be blessed with another one or a cuddly sister at some point down the road  

Piperella

I cannot believe how much he has grown!  Lifting his head up and all!  I can't believe it.  It feels like yesterday I was reading the beginning of his "birth" story and yours... I'm amazed at how far you both have come!  I love reading your updates!

tvh1982

Its funny how that works isn't it @kidshrink. One has an idea how it will be, and like you I thought a daughter would be 'easier' as it will just be me..and how much boy stuff do I know...but eventually, once they there, in any way or form..the just fit and one doesn't want it any other way

KidShrink

So I figured I'd share this update here...our little Eliott is 12 weeks tonight, and I decided, as I was pushing the stroller on our walk tonight, that I should attempt jogging. And...I did it! Not super fast, my legs still feel a little heavy, but I did it! 
And this is my motivation

tvh1982

Fantastic! Way to go @kidshrink! Oh yes that handsome little boy is indeed a great motivation! So damn proud of you and your persistence and progress.

Drove2u

@kidshrink amazing!! You are amazing!! And he is adorable!!

mskeenan

Damn @kidshrink !!! That is amazing !!! Love the pics of your lil cutie 

AdorkablePixie

Good for you. @KidShrink!!

Binnie505

@KidShrink I am so glad about your progress. All the best.

KidShrink

Hello ladies!! Hope you're all doing well! I haven't been here in a little while, but figured I'd you an update since I got such amazing support here  

I had my first follow-up MRI since my surgery two weeks ago and had to wait all this time to get the results today. So thankfully, what is left of my tumor hasn't grown since the surgery and the surgerybwas successful in removing everything that was in the spinal canal. I also learned that when I got the surgery, the tumor occupied 90% of my spinal canal, which meant my spinal cord was completely squished...I was essentially a ticking time bomb. It's still unbelievable that I had no symptoms. In terms of my progress, I can't say there's been all that much lately, but that's likely because they're more subtle changes. I now need to work on strengthening my back and hope that over the next 6-12 months, I finish recovering all normal sensation in my legs. 

Time has been flying and Eliott is getting so big. He started sitting unassisted and we just started introducing food- he's saying hello from his high chair . 

Thanks again for all the support throughout this crazy ordeal! 

tvh1982

Look at that little handsome fella! 
Thank you for your update @kidshrink.
Nice to hear you are still making progress, even though they may seem little. You did well.
And wow, hearing one was a ticking time bomb is kinda scary...guess it had to be going this way to get you back on your feet.
Keep up the good work and enjoy that little baby of yours, as seeing on the picture they grow up way too fast!

mskeenan

So great to read your update @kidshrink . It is crazy how time flies ! Your lil man is getting so big !! He is too cute !! 

Im so glad to hear that your tumor hasn't grown and that the surgery was successful . It is so scary to think what could have happened if more time had passed and you hadn't known about it . I'm so glad you are ok !! I hope you continue to make progress and that the next coming months you will get some sensation back . You are so tough and are a great mama