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March 2015 Moms
SharLovesAlex
member
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FINALLY STOOD UP TO MIL!!
SharLovesAlex
member
Last week, we were on our way to my husband's grandma's house for Rosh Hashanah when we got a flat. He called her to tell her we weren't going to make it, and guess who answered her phone? You guessed it. MIL. So he tells her, and she insists that he can drive on the freeway on a donut tire, despite him telling her it wasn't safe. She was persistent and insistent, even telling him his dad would come get us. He got so angry that his "No" was not good enough (she always second guesses our decisions) that he threw his phone, cracking the screen. She called me and I text her and told her he was very angry and had now broken his phone. He told me he didn't want to talk to her, so I said he shouldn't until he'd cooled off. Monday, she text me asking me to tell him to call her. He did not. So she called me, and I told her he was still upset and was not going to call. Meanwhile, he has no phone. She emailed him Tuesday asking him to call her. (He's been in no hurry to replace his phone, for obvious reasons) I encouraged him to stand up to her and hold his ground if he really did not want to talk to her at this time. He did not call, but responded and said he was still upset and didn't feel like talking to her. (Which is perfectly fine if he needs time to cool off) She emailed back saying she needed to speak to him if something is bothering him. He responded that he was upset that she continues to second guess his decisions, even when in regards to the safety of his family. He told her he still didn't feel like talking to her. So she calls me and asks if we'll be home this Saturday, and I tell her we have plans to attend my sis in law's baby shower. She asks is we want to come over after, and I explain to her hubby might not want to do that. Later, she texts me, reiterating that she wants us to come over. The next day, she emails my husband again, telling him to please call her, we're they going to get to see LO this weekend? He ignores her because he's already told her he needs some cooling off time. She texts me asking me the same thing, and I tell her no, he's still upset so I think not. She emails him again the following day and tells him she's "having a difficult time dealing with this, it can't go on, please call me." By this time, he's even angrier that she won't respect what he's asked.
So what does she do?? Have FIL call me. I tell him I'm trying to put the baby down and husband isn't home anyway. He asks me to have him call. I tell him I'll give him the message. He doesn't call. She texts me yesterday asking if we'd be home today, and I knew if I said yes, she'd say they wanted to come over and "have a talk" with us (this is not the first time they've felt the need to sit us down and talk to us like children). So I nipped it in the bud and said "Yes. We will be home. But it's not a good idea for you to come over. He is still upset and has said he does not want to talk to you, and I don't feel comfortable continually being put in the middle. I've done my best to respect what he's asked, but also remain respectful of you and FIL. Please wait until he reaches out to you to talk. Until then, it's best if you don't come over."
YAY ME! I've never been able to tell her to back off, but I felt it was time someone stood up to her. I know she will think we're withholding LO from them, but she needs to realize SHE is the cause of the problem, and her incessant emails/texts made it impossible for him to cool off. And it has nothing to do with Alex, no one is denying them time with them, but husband needs some space from her, space she's not giving. She calls him 2-3 times a day usually, not wanting anything, getting mad if he doesn't call her or answer her (duh. He's working), asking him why can't he answer his phone, why don't I video chat her, just blabbering about nothing, so he's had a nice reprieve from that. She has second guesses us both since Alex was born, but been doing it to my husband all his life. He just snapped. I wish he hadn't broken his phone of course, but he had had enough. I told him it was okay to not want to talk, and by her trying to force him before he's ready will result in him not being calm, not giving him time to fully understand why he was so upset and how he wanted to handle it so he didn't blow up again. She did not respect that at all.
No reply to my message (rude). Not even an "okay" to acknowledge receipt of them. I'm just so proud we both finally stood up to her. I'm sure she's super mad about it. Oh well. She should have let him be. No boundaries, this woman! But YAY ME >:D<
So what does she do?? Have FIL call me. I tell him I'm trying to put the baby down and husband isn't home anyway. He asks me to have him call. I tell him I'll give him the message. He doesn't call. She texts me yesterday asking if we'd be home today, and I knew if I said yes, she'd say they wanted to come over and "have a talk" with us (this is not the first time they've felt the need to sit us down and talk to us like children). So I nipped it in the bud and said "Yes. We will be home. But it's not a good idea for you to come over. He is still upset and has said he does not want to talk to you, and I don't feel comfortable continually being put in the middle. I've done my best to respect what he's asked, but also remain respectful of you and FIL. Please wait until he reaches out to you to talk. Until then, it's best if you don't come over."
YAY ME! I've never been able to tell her to back off, but I felt it was time someone stood up to her. I know she will think we're withholding LO from them, but she needs to realize SHE is the cause of the problem, and her incessant emails/texts made it impossible for him to cool off. And it has nothing to do with Alex, no one is denying them time with them, but husband needs some space from her, space she's not giving. She calls him 2-3 times a day usually, not wanting anything, getting mad if he doesn't call her or answer her (duh. He's working), asking him why can't he answer his phone, why don't I video chat her, just blabbering about nothing, so he's had a nice reprieve from that. She has second guesses us both since Alex was born, but been doing it to my husband all his life. He just snapped. I wish he hadn't broken his phone of course, but he had had enough. I told him it was okay to not want to talk, and by her trying to force him before he's ready will result in him not being calm, not giving him time to fully understand why he was so upset and how he wanted to handle it so he didn't blow up again. She did not respect that at all.
No reply to my message (rude). Not even an "okay" to acknowledge receipt of them. I'm just so proud we both finally stood up to her. I'm sure she's super mad about it. Oh well. She should have let him be. No boundaries, this woman! But YAY ME >:D<
Re: FINALLY STOOD UP TO MIL!!
So basically, her mother in law wants to see her son and her grandkid. But da mom (op) is all LYKE no way, husband doesn't wanna see u HA HA. He's da hulk so he basically broke his fone. So he started ignorin' his poor ol mammy. OP is so awesome for stand in' up to that poor ol mean heffer . Then yah that's basickally it.