Anyone TTC #1 through DE?

jul76

hello. I'm new here. Starting my fresh cycle soon. Looking for friends and insight and community.

Xoxo
P

jul76

Wow I can hear a pin drop on this board :-(

refeek1

Hi.  Not many people here anymore. I am still trying for #1.  I'm on to my 2nd donor.  The one I chose this time didn't pass testing, so now I chose another and haven't heard back.  I'm hoping to transfer by October.  Where are you in the process?

naarnold

I am starting my first IVF cycle with DE. I start my estrogen patches tomorrow! When did/do you start?

jul76

Oh cool glad I checked back.

I've been trying for #1 for two years+

Actually, I was going to transfer in August, but the I found out two days ago my anonymous donor backed.

I'm so sad because I was finally in place where I was cool with moving ahead. I'm so bummed out. I looked at the available donors and I just didn't feel the way I did about my first donor.

Glad to meet you both naarnold, is this your first as well? Best of luck, let's keep in touch.

refeek1

I'm sorry about your donor backing out. It is so hard finding the right one, then being disappointed.
This time around my first pick (that I was so excited about) didn't pass testing and my second got a promotion at work and may not be available anytime soon. I have two others I like, so hopefully one of the three will be available by the end of the year! Two of them are cycling now with other couples.
Good luck to you.

naarnold

I am TTC my first (and most likely only- don't want to get too greedy, just want one beautiful little one)... I arrived here after being diagnosed with ovarian failure in November. After waiting a while to wrap my head around everything i started to move toward DE... We secured our donor in May and just started our cycle. So far things are going well. My donor's next check up is on Wednesday. Crossing my fingers I get a good report. Sorry your cycle has been postponed. Even though mine has started I still feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop and for the cycle to be cancelled or fail. I think that feeling comes with the territory. It has been a lot of heartbreak and reimagining that has brought us here. I am sure the right fit will come along. It was a tough decision for us because each donor carries their own family history and risiks. But ultimately it is just a leap of faith, beliving that everything will work out and you will receive a beautiful miracle that makes your life full. Best of luck to you. Keep us posted.

jul76

naarnold said:

I am TTC my first (and most likely only- don't want to get too greedy, just want one beautiful little one)... I arrived here after being diagnosed with ovarian failure in November. After waiting a while to wrap my head around everything i started to move toward DE... We secured our donor in May and just started our cycle. So far things are going well. My donor's next check up is on Wednesday. Crossing my fingers I get a good report.
Sorry your cycle has been postponed. Even though mine has started I still feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop and for the cycle to be cancelled or fail. I think that feeling comes with the territory. It has been a lot of heartbreak and reimagining that has brought us here.
I am sure the right fit will come along. It was a tough decision for us because each donor carries their own family history and risiks. But ultimately it is just a leap of faith, beliving that everything will work out and you will receive a beautiful miracle that makes your life full.
Best of luck to you. Keep us posted.

Wow! I had my diagnosis in November as well. Looks like it took us the same amount of time to get here.

Tell me, did you try Ivf with your own eggs first? I did. I had one canceled cycle. Now I am going to have a phone consultant next week with a clinic out of state. There success rate is 77% and they have a lot of donors. Price is the same as it is here.

So that's where I'm at.

GOOD LUCK!!! Keep me posted!

jul76

Good luck to you as well. And also, same question: did you try Ivf with your own eggs?

Thanks for responding

naarnold

I did not try with my own eggs first. My husband and I had been "not, not trying" since we got married in April of 2012. In November of 2013 at my yearly OBGYN exam I talked to my Dr, about moving from the "if it happens, great" mentality to "trying". At that time I mentioned my periods had been a little irregular, but I was not charting so he wrote it off as stress since I travel a lot with my business. My family Dr. Also seemed to write off my complaints of being tired and irregular periods to work. So off I went to try to get pregnant and start our family. By August 2014 I started realizing something was not right. Again at my yearly physical my family dr. Wrote off my complaints of being tired and irregular periods as all my blood work came back looking great, my OBGYN listened more and felt it was time to talk to an RE, his thoughts being my numbers were probably a little off and an RE could straighten them out and get me preggers. After my day three labs it became clear that it was a miracle I was functioning. My FSH levels and estrogen levels were in menopausal levels and my AMH was non detectable. No sooner than my labs were done my cycles completely stopped. i was told my only option was donor egg. So, after that huge blow we took some time for me to go on HRT and feel better. Plus I needed to come to grips with the diagnosis. I am so glad we did not have to pour a lot of money into treatments that would not work. However, now that I have started my cycle I almost wish I had gone through it before because I feel so overwhelmed. I am so glad that we waited though. I felt so much better after several months of HRT. I could actually get out of bed in the morning and wasn't having terrible mood swings any more. It was amazing. Plus I felt so much better about going through the process. My clinic has in house anonymous donors and an over 70% live birth rate with DE. In addition they had discount programs that we qualified for. How did you arrive here?

jul76

After complaining to my gynecologist for 9 months, he finally sent me to an RE. AMF undetectable/FSH 13.3.

I had one canceled IVF cycle in February. Picked my donor out in March. Was expected to cycle we DE in August. But she backed out.

I have an appointment out of state over the phone next week. Part on me is thinking one more shot with my own eggs. This would all be so much easier if insurance covers it.

I'll post what ever happens after I speak to the out of state clinic (Chicago).

refeek1

jul76 said:

Good luck to you as well. And also, same question: did you try Ivf with your own eggs? Thanks for responding

 

I did try one time with my own eggs.  It was a cancelled cycle because I did not respond to the meds. 

 

ETA:  Apparently I do not know how to use the quote button.

jul76

I don't know about the quote button, either, I'm new to this site
:-)

Were you ok with one time? I'm 39, how old are you? I didn't respond at all. I hated IVF--the price, the low success rate, the STRESS. I was so ready to move on.

I'm just as devastated over my donor backing out as I am my failed cycle :-(

refeek1

jul76 said:

I don't know about the quote button, either, I'm new to this site
:-)

Were you ok with one time? I'm 39, how old are you? I didn't respond at all. I hated IVF--the price, the low success rate, the STRESS. I was so ready to move on.

I'm just as devastated over my donor backing out as I am my failed cycle :-(

I give up on this quote thing!

I had just turned 41 when we started with the RE and my own egg IVF. I didn't respond to the highest dose of meds, I had only 1 follicle. I was so sad until I learned about donor eggs.

We chose our proven donor and had to wait a few months to cycle because she was in the middle of another cycle. She gave us 10 beautiful blasts and we transferred 2, but it was an ectopic. The rest of our history with her eggs is in my signature ( I guess you can't see it on mobile)

We are now waiting to match with another donor. I am 43 and have chosen 4 different donors, but have not matched with any of them, yet.

I'm so sorry about your donor backing out. That is so hard. I never knew how hard this journey would be.

I hope you find a new donor soon.

jul76

Aw thanks. I actually was flirting with the idea of traveling to an out of state clinic & giving it another go with my eggs. Turns out RE will not even consider anything but DE. Never been turned down before. I booked a phone consult with him. He has a 77% live birth rate with donor eggs.

In the meantime, I may do one more cycle locally with my own eggs. Not that I have any faith it will work.

I guess, if all goes well, I might be transferring around October as well. We can be cycle friends :-)

refeek1

Good luck with your own egg cycle!  That would be awesome if it was the one.  Looks like the soonest I will be cycling is November now.  All the donors I picked are currently in a cycle and my clinic makes them wait 8 weeks between retrievals.

naarnold

Wow. I am surprised you found an RE that would let you cycle with your own eggs.my RE would only do a DE cycle for me. And I am only 27. When they did my baseline ultrasound for this cycle my RE looked at my ovaries and sure enough, they were very small, similar to that of a post menopausal woman. So he felt confident we had made the right call to do DE. Good luck!

smartiann

I am currently pregnant with my first child with donor egg. We were pregnant twice before with the same donor and had miscarriages due to chromosomal abnormalities. This time we did pgd testing on our remaining embryos. I am carrying a healthy little girl. I am 8w 3d and I pray every day she decides to stick around. I chose to use donor egg after years and years of dissapointment. It was the best decision I ever made.

krhandmg

I just started my first DE cycle.  I'm just on the pill right now - I'll start lupron in a few weeks - so we're looking at mid-September to do the transfer. 

We had 4 failed IVFs with my own eggs.  I'm 39 - everything besides age on my side of things seemed to be ok.  My AMH was probably the lowest end of the normal range according to the RE.  Problems with DH led us to do IVF with ICSI.  Every cycle gave us 2 good embryos to transfer - 3 CPs and 1 BFN.  Now RE thinks DE is our best option.  Our second opinion also recommended DE.  We'll have 8 frozen eggs from our donor for this cycle. 

It's been almost 2 years since we started this process.  We've decided if these 8 don't work we'll call it quits.  It has been a physical, emotional & financial roller coaster!!   

@smartiann - I hope everything is going well for you!!  You give me hope!  And for all the others on this string - I am praying that everything works out!!

Jzyla

Joining in a little late but I suppose better late than never? I'm back dabbling on these boards (and others) and we've started actively pursuing DE after almost a year since our last failed IVF. We secured a donor through an agency in Canada and are waiting for our first consult. The donor is proven and semi-known. We are hoping to line up around October if everything goes as planned.

peregrinefalconx

Hi!

I am TTC#1 as well. BTW, it took me forever to even find this board...whatever changes they made the site all those months ago made everything impossible to find.

jul76

Nice to see a little activity on here. How is everyone doing?

I backed out of my local RE. Long story short--doctor wasn't there at baseline (which I knew) so I was in the care of the nastiest nurse who insisted on changing my protocol. I only had two follicles at baseline :-(

So I've picked a new donor while I'm actively looking for other donors who are available asap. The one I'm wait listed for isn't available until November. I've learned not to put my eggs all in one basket ;-) consulting with a new clinic this week--once I pay the fee they will give me access to donor profiles.

Hope everyone's doing well and I wish you all a good week!

peregrinefalconx

@jul76

refeek1

Seems like we are all in the same boat! Very similar stories. I did not even bother to try with my own eggs...the doc said he could maybe get one out of me and the odds of it being a good one were obviously not high. My AMH went from being very low/FSH normal to AMH negligible/FSH high in the middle of trying to do several natural, medicated cycles. We then moved on to DE and I'm about 1 month out from transfer (doing lupron and starting del-estrogen prob this Thursday).

jul76

It's all so crazy. One minute I'm embracing de Ivf, the next I'm thinking I want to do another OE IVF.

Can I ask you all some questions: how do you feel about telling family and friends. I come from an ultra consevative family (they are collectively against Ivf for religious reasons). Now that I'm almost 40, everyone has probably figured we can't have kids.

I'm so scared that if I go thru with it, they will find out. I've been in therapy. I know I shouldn't care what others think. My husband sure as hell doesn't. And at times I don't care. Then I think: this child will look nothing like me. He or she may not even look like my husband.

As I mentioned, I had a donor back out. It was a pretty "sure thing" and when she backed out I was crushed. There was a tiny piece of my that felt relieved. It's all so hard. :-(

refeek1

Hi!

@perigrinefalconx- we all do have similar stories!  1 month out, how exciting!

 

@jul76- I am embracing de ivf, because it's my only chance at having a baby.  I've had 2 ectopics (one tube removed) and my eggs are crap!  I will tell family when I feel the time is right (who knows when that will be!)  I'm afraid of not telling and then something happens and people find out and think I lied.  I will pick and choose who I tell because, like you, I have people in my life that would freak out.  The donor I chose looks nothing like me.  She is 5 inches taller than me and beautiful. 

 

AFM:  I finally matched with a donor.  She has a cycle before me and she is currently going through testing.  She will cycle in September, then with us in November/December.  I'm focusing on losing all the weight I've gained over the last couple of years doing IVF.  I've lost 35 so far and have some more to go.  I wish you all the best in your choices!

jul76

Refeek1--Oh congrats on the weight loss. Thanks for chiming in. I know what you mean about embracing DE. I'm there most of the time and then sometimes I'm overwhelmed with feelings I can't quite put my finger on. Deep in my heart I feel it's the only way to having a baby.

Congrats on finding a donor. That's an exciting moment when it all feels right. I'm consulting with several REs in the Midwest and south to look through all the donor profiles.

Thinking I might cycle again with my own eggs in the meantime.

peregrinefalconx

jul76refeek1

That must be very difficult to worry about telling others and not having the support of potentially your close family members. I guess it is just an added layer of resilience you would need. I guess I have been very fortunate that I have had everybody in my life support my choices/never diminished my MCs. I'm having a hard time recalling, but there must be literature on how to handle this. In the end, the most important people to know will be the child (which you start early), obviously a partner, and the doctor. I think trusted people after that are secondary. And then put a big coat of "mind your own business" on for disapproving family members.

My own story of DE went a little like this. I go into RE after my 3rd MC, first one with a HB, my little boy who made it 12 weeks. And they tell me "something must have gone wrong" and you should do DE. I freaked, distrusted them, did natural cycles with a new RE and although they didn't know/tell me, my numbers went even worse...so by the time I got back to RE#1 for OE IVF, they didn't even want to put me through it. I cried. I knew this was coming and it was a huge fear. DH and I talked for hours; I went to bed. And woke up the next morning RELIEVED beyond belief. I didn't have to fight a losing battle anymore.

My donor does not look like me, nor does my husband. I grieved this. And it is of absolutely no consequence to me now. I did a lot of work in therapy and internally to the point that I think I would almost be disappointed to get my own genetic kid at this point. LOL. So I'm on board. I do like that genetically she is like me. Her mom is a full blooded "dark haired" ethnicity and her dad is standard american, so technically any child would be 1/4 "dark haired", which is what my child would be--no matter if it was my OE or DE. I really hope she works/this works bc I am quite attached to her as a donor at this point

jul76

Hi ladies. I was wondering if there are any updates. None for my, still waiting. Whenever I find a donor i like, she is cycling and I have to wait :-(


Hope everyone is doing well

refeek1

Hi there. I am waiting too. I chose a donor and then a new donor that we previously chose became available last week and we could cycle sooner. Unfortunately I found out today she is a carrier for cystic fibrosis so she is being dropped from the program. Luckily, the donor I was with earlier is still available for a December/January cycle. This wait is hard! 

ETA:  What luck.  The second donor is also a carrier of cystic fibrosis.  Not sure where to go from here.  The first round, I was able to pick a proven donor, just didn't get pregnant.  This time I've had nothing but trouble.  I've chosen 6 donors and all of them have either not passed genetic testing or not available for a long time and won't commit.

peregrinefalconx

I have an update! My first transfer is on Monday, 9/21. I am pretty much running the gamut on emotions.I think I've had them all. Hope, fear, anger, anxiety, anticipation, excitement, happiness, sadness. I have been getting calls every single day for over a week now in terms of my donor's cycle.Like "she's got 50 follicles! she's got 20 measurable eggs, etc." So I think I really got my hopes up. I'm doing a 1:3 program, meaning I get 1/3 of the eggs. I got 6, 4 fertilized and today is Day 2.

I just really pray this will work the first time. I'm second guessing my "I absolutely only want one embryo implanted" stance. Worried that they won't make it till day 5 (apparently, they do wait for them all to get there and have found that many that they thought would only be good Day 3s do make it to Day 5). Worried that if there some to freeze, they won't make it out. I have to just stop and be positive. Not sleeping isn't helping. T+Ps needed!

jul76

Pereg--that's great news good luck getting your dreams come true!

asmith0115

Got my BFP today. Beta is 445 (13dpft). Best of luck ladies!

jul76

That is awesome!! Congratulations!

asmith0115

Second beta results are in. 1,376.4! Tripled!

jul76

Twins!!! Woot woot!

peregrinefalconx

Just got my (very early) beta (9dptf). Positive!

1 perfect embryo put in on the 21st. Please stick around kiddo!!

asmith0115

@peregrinefalconx Congrats on your BFP!

LisaLelik

Hi ladies, just wanted to pop in to say hang in there! It took me a while to find the right donor but today I'm almost 26 weeks pregnant! So happy and hardly even remember that this baby is from a DE. I'm so in love with my LO. Good luck to all of you. Sending positive vibes you way! Xx

asmith0115

Got to see and hear our girl for the first time today. 6 weeks 4 days, heart rate is 121!

LisaLelik

Wonderful news. Enjoy the journey.

plumeria05

I guess I'm late to this party but I'm somewhat new on this forum and after 2 failed IVFS (in the summer) I took a break from the Internet. I was depressed. We're using a donor this time around and we're going through the legal stuff. Looks like we will be starting the meds in 2 weeks. Had no idea screening donors is a lot of work. We had to go with our donor option 3; my first choice wanted more money and the second choice, she didn't produce as much eggs.

I'm excited and nervous as well that something will go wrong. After reading the strories on this thread, I'm hopeful. I pray and hope that after all the heartbreaks we're going through that we will all be blessed with beautiful healthy babies God bless everyone :x