Is anyone else depressed?

albentley42

I hate being pregnant. I've gotten soo fat. My boyfriend doesn't even have sex with me anymore because he just doesn't get excited. He used to be so attracted to me. My back hurts. I can't sleep. I feel lazy and have headaches and am really depressed all the time. I know... A lot of complaints. Am I the only one that feels this way? I hear people talk about how they love being pregnant... It makes me want to puke. I want my third trimester to be better. I've gotta makes some changes. Is anyone else going through this? Any suggestions??

Whitfry

Beep beep!

MalVough

Dear Diary...

lawsonellis

Jaxon.

mangomimosa

I'll bite.

Of course you're not the only one who has felt this way. You're right - you've gotta make some changes. 3rd tri is supposed to be the worst. Don't look for things to just magically change. You're going to have to learn to cope. Try being active (30 min walking every day, yoga...) and focus on loving baby instead of hating pregnancy. You can still hate pregnancy, but you have to change your internal dialogue about it or you'll be miserable for the next 3 mo. And talk with your partner about how you're feeling. Getting "fat" is part of making his baby -- and if you're feeling lazy/depressed/fat you might be giving off a vibe that you don't want sex. 

Alternatively, the stomach flu is a stellar way to feel less fat. Worked for me.

goofygoff

mangomimosa

^^ omg that gif is killing me.

ruemorgan

I'm depressed you didn't use the search engine or read through any other threads.

mwerren

Opened thread thinking this was a genuine post of a lady needing help with depression.
Your sob story is ridiculous OP. Pregnancy is a miracle. Be happy that your baby is healthy. Who gives a shit if you are gaining weight??

janda426

Yeah um can you NOT misuse the term depression? Thanks

Also if your bf really isn't having sex with you because of your weight gain he sounds like an asshole

ngolimento

mwerren said:

Opened thread thinking this was a genuine post of a lady needing help with depression.
Your sob story is ridiculous OP. Pregnancy is a miracle. Be happy that your baby is healthy. Who gives a shit if you are gaining weight??

Apparently her massive douchebag of a boyfriend. Methinks her problem isn't pregnancy.

Bluebell0315

Maybe a little rainbow?

mwerren

The problem I have with the OP is her post sounds more like whining than an actual problem. It was all superficial complaints.
If anyone struggles with depression and bad self-image issues, then they really need to seek help from a professional and get a more supportive SO than the one she's got. Just my opinion.

mwerren

It is sad that a drive by poster has caused such strife between long time, active M15 members. We are all entitled to our opinions, and none is more correct than any other.
I'll reiterate what I said before, if she truly is depressed and not just complaining...then she needs to seek professional help.
I've had a long road myself with professional counseling and it helped me tremendously.

janda426

You're right that I don't even know if she's really dealing with depression. In this context, it really sounded like she was exaggerating leading me to assume as such.

mwerren

ToasterCat said:

mwerren said:

It is sad that a drive by poster has caused such strife between long time, active M15 members. We are all entitled to our opinions, and none is more correct than any other.
I'll reiterate what I said before, if she truly is depressed and not just complaining...then she needs to seek professional help.
I've had a long road myself with professional counseling and it helped me tremendously.

If that is what you truly think, you did a good job of hiding it with your first response to the OP.
I'm sorry you're feeling strife, but I don't care if a person has been here for six months or six seconds, if they are acting an ass, then they are acting an ass.

Wow really with the name calling??
*sigh*

mwerren

ToasterCat said:

katydid2014 said:

Out of curiosity I looked up OP's past posts and the previous thread she posted was the one where she was asking about boy's names including Cohen.  When she was told that the use of that name could be offensive to some she responded by saying she didn't care if it was offensive or not.  I realize this has nothing to do with the issues she is dealing with now but she did not come off very well in her previous interactions here.  She also made a pretty asinine statement about circumcision.  

I understand what you're saying, but this stuff was looked up about her after the fact. Trust me I love the snark train, I really do, but telling someone who is talking about depression to go barf to make themselves feel better, man, we can do better than that.

Who told her to barf?? I don't see that in any of the previous replies

And you quoted my remark and referred to it as acting like an ass...so that is a name calling.

Whatever...this is thread is going in a totally ugly tangent and I won't be a part of its further demise.

lawsonellis

What triggered my snark was that she listed a laundry list of vague issues- stated she needed to make "some changes", and then asked for suggestions and/advice and experience.

To me, all of us at some point have experienced much of what she's voiced to a small or large degree. I don't know exactly what kind of help she's expecting in regards to changes without being either 1) more specific or 2) coming back to respond.

I get that if she's truly depressed then our responses may discourage her participation, but having struggled with serious depression for much of my life that post didn't sound like what I'm used to. I also know that depression takes different forms for everyone and I don't think we should belittle it- I lost both my mother and ex boyfriend to suicide.

Looking back, I probably could've held back until I was CERTAIN it was AW- but we haven't heard back yet either so again, I'm skeptical of the asking for help.

ngolimento

mwerren said:

ToasterCat said:

mwerren said:

It is sad that a drive by poster has caused such strife between long time, active M15 members. We are all entitled to our opinions, and none is more correct than any other.
I'll reiterate what I said before, if she truly is depressed and not just complaining...then she needs to seek professional help.
I've had a long road myself with professional counseling and it helped me tremendously.

If that is what you truly think, you did a good job of hiding it with your first response to the OP.
I'm sorry you're feeling strife, but I don't care if a person has been here for six months or six seconds, if they are acting an ass, then they are acting an ass.

Wow really with the name calling??
*sigh*

Nobody called anyone a name.

ngolimento

happymamax2 said:

Peledreamsofrain said:

mwerren said:

ToasterCat said:

mwerren said:

It is sad that a drive by poster has caused such strife between long time, active M15 members. We are all entitled to our opinions, and none is more correct than any other.
I'll reiterate what I said before, if she truly is depressed and not just complaining...then she needs to seek professional help.
I've had a long road myself with professional counseling and it helped me tremendously.

If that is what you truly think, you did a good job of hiding it with your first response to the OP.
I'm sorry you're feeling strife, but I don't care if a person has been here for six months or six seconds, if they are acting an ass, then they are acting an ass.

Wow really with the name calling??
*sigh*

Nobody called anyone a name.

I believe she's referring to Toaster's comment: "if they are acting an ass, then they are acting an ass."

Exactly. It's well established on the board that saying " acting like X" is NOT violating TOU with name calling. The rule isn't malleable just because someone is having a hissy and can't take disagreement without a tantrum.

mangomimosa

Ok well my crack about the stomach flu was supposed to be funny after I gave her some real advice... OP I don't think you should really go puke. I do think you should try the other things I mentioned, though.

(seriously though a week of the flu did get me back on track weight-wise, which is funny to me -- OP hope that didn't come off badly to you & if so I'm sorry)

jnowosielski

I feel like you never really know when something is a cry for help. It could be whining but it could be a real issue.

It's not easy for everyone to go right to their doctor or professional and admit something like depression.

ngolimento

Chunkymonkeylvr said:

My thought after reading all of this is, it's not our place to placate this random poster. We have had a lot of depressed posters and drive by's that as a whole we have done a decent job in responding to, encourage to seek help, and to let them know they were not alone.
I initially chose not to respond because IDGAF. She sounds whiney and bratty imo, but kept it to myself. Just like every other drive by you don't just randomly bitch about your life and being depressed, it isn't our place to really to be her beacon of advice and light. She should have lurked and searched.

Over all she got decent advice you could expect from complete and some responses that might appear a bit rough.

IMO, it's not societies responsibility to take every post "seriously" and it's not our responsibility as a board to do the same.


Not sure if my post makes sense or not.

I'm of two minds as well. On one hand, the OP did sound like a whiny teen with a shitty boyfriend. Also, a driveby which I detest.

On the other, I hate the sanctimonious "pregnancy is a miraculous gift, how dare you complain!". The fact that someone doesn't enjoy gaining weight, being nauseous, getting hemmies, getting stretch marks, having back pain, having acid reflux, not being able to sleep, and an almost infinity additional list of shitty things...does not make them some sort of callous ungrateful monster. I personally am in this to get a baby. That doesn't mean I need to hemmorage rainbow diarrhea propaganda about how wonderful pregnancy is along the way. I am not enjoying the process. If there was a way for me to just harass a stork or go dig one up out of the cabbages, you bet your ass I'd do that instead.

Aeml1985

I'm not even getting involved in this discussion about real vs fake depression but I LOVE that people spoke their minds and stood up for what they believe in regardless of WHO was saying it; newb, regular, etc. and as someone who had struggled with infertility I will never be able to get behind someone being so negative about a process that is bringing you a miracle many wish for and never get; pregnancy can suck but you knew that before you got pregnant and if you weren't prepared to deal with the less glamorous parts of becoming a mom then maybe you should have thought twice before getting pregnant.

KD32412

Today I listened to Christmas songs and ate a beef gordita from Taco Bell. That made me feel a little better. Maybe you can do the same.

ngolimento

Aeml1985 said:

I'm not even getting involved in this discussion about real vs fake depression but I LOVE that people spoke their minds and stood up for what they believe in regardless of WHO was saying it; newb, regular, etc. and as someone who had struggled with infertility I will never be able to get behind someone being so negative about a process that is bringing you a miracle many wish for and never get; pregnancy can suck but you knew that before you got pregnant and if you weren't prepared to deal with the less glamorous parts of becoming a mom then maybe you should have thought twice before getting pregnant.

This shit is exactly what I was talking about, and why people with depression brought on by pregnancy get dangerously ignored. Because if you dare complain that if you feel awful and sad, someone will come at you using their experience like a weapon to try to shame you. It's like the lady on The Knot who used to use her breast cancer to nastily shut down anyone who tried to share a problem they were having. They were never allowed to have a shitty day because she survived cancer.

jap618

Peledreamsofrain said:

Aeml1985 said:

I'm not even getting involved in this discussion about real vs fake depression but I LOVE that people spoke their minds and stood up for what they believe in regardless of WHO was saying it; newb, regular, etc. and as someone who had struggled with infertility I will never be able to get behind someone being so negative about a process that is bringing you a miracle many wish for and never get; pregnancy can suck but you knew that before you got pregnant and if you weren't prepared to deal with the less glamorous parts of becoming a mom then maybe you should have thought twice before getting pregnant.

This shit is exactly what I was talking about, and why people with depression brought on by pregnancy get dangerously ignored. Because if you dare complain that if you feel awful and sad, someone will come at you using their experience like a weapon to try to shame you. It's like the lady on The Knot who used to use her breast cancer to nastily shut down anyone who tried to share a problem they were having. They were never allowed to have a shitty day because she survived cancer.

I don't see this as what she was doing. Maybe it's because I feel the same that she does. This isn't about the Pain Olympics. I, personally, cannot bring myself to complain about any of the negative experiences that I've come across during pregnancy since I know how much I went through and others have gone through for this. On the other hand, I can also appreciate that my experience (outside of having anxiety related to being pgal) has been relatively easy and that others have it much more difficult. But because I can't relate to OP I typically opt to not respond.

That being said just as people are having difficult pregnancies and complaining about them, people had difficult journey's to get here and are choosing not to complain about pregnancy.

ngolimento

etoille said:

So again, this thing got side tracked but folks - this whole thing was over someone who just pops in to use us as google and reads the first 5 responses, and comes back once every two months to leave us gems like this.

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/85398507/#Comment_85398507

This person is just not worth anyone's effing time.  Personally I don't have any interest in getting to know someone who would call any part of a newborn baby boy 'disgusting' and validate teasing of said boy as a teenager, and frankly IDGAF if she is really depressed or just using the word inaccurately.  

I don't know about others, but I am not really in the discussion for OP. She just happens to be here .

joanned99

I find it very sad that people are being so negative and mean to a woman who is just being honest about how she feels. We should encourage positive behavior not make someone feel worse. If you're feeling bad about your body (which is normal when you gain weight for any reason) make an effort to be more active. I still exercise weekly when I'm up to it and eat healthy. When you eat fresh fruits and vegetables you're going to feel better and more positive.

StowerBaby

Everyone needs to start being more supportive of eachother. We have the most important job in the world ahead of us. Stop being negative and bitchy to eachother. Only leave advice that is supportive. Every pregnancy is different and we need to be respectful of eachother. I am absolutely shocked and appalled with some of the responses in some of these posts. Treat others how you would like to be treated and stop trying to find things to bitch about.

joanned99

I'm joining the April baby month you guys are mean