Questions about privates

SuperFudge00

In my childhood our "privates" were just that and covered everything where "strangers shouldn't touch". This mentality led me to be unable to use certain words without them feeling "dirty" and I don't want to repeat that cycle.

I'm wondering if you ladies have any suggestions or experience to share regarding how your LO refers to their bits or how you plan to introduce this subject?

shayrenee86

I plan on doing the same as the PP. I hate the term "pee-pee", I think it causes confusion. Is that an action or a noun?? Penis and vagina are not "bad" words, they are accurate words.

redneckmomma25

I use the tern vagina with my daughter. More so to help me be more comfortable with the word. Ha. She calls everything butt at the moment though. I'll use penis for this kid. We may throw in a peepee or something as well but they will know correct terminology.

bmblebea

I believe I read somewhere that teaching your kid the proper names helps with empowering kids and reporting abuse. Let me search a second...

Here's one: https://m.today.com/parents/just-say-vagina-using-correct-body-part-names-empowers-kids-6C9551650

From that article-
"Sex abuse prevention educators want kids to know that their private parts are off limits to others and to be able to talk about them in ways everyone can understand, rather than using euphemisms like cha-cha or wee-wee."


Makes sense I think and might be enough of a reason to use proper names for those who are squimish.

nomesy

My husband calls his penis his newee (pronounced new-wee, it's from his childhood naw) I reckon he will use this term with our son , but I like the idea that yes it's a penis , I asked what he was gonna call the testicles . He said balls... So penis from me and whatever from him I'm not phased we'll figure it out , got a little way before we need to explain anyway , I mean he isn't even out yet

miracle4x

I know everyone says you should tell them the correct terms right away, but......I have three boys, and a fourth boy on the way. I think it's fine to tell them the correct terms, but you have to keep in mind what you want them possibly shouting out in public. For that reason, we call it "boy part." My oldest knows the correct term, and of course I will tell them when they are old enough, but seriously. My boys are 8, 5, and 3, and when they are all playing together, all I hear is, "Underwear!" Giggle giggle. "Butt!" Giggle giggle. "Boy part!" Giggle giggle. "Poop!" You get the idea.

Boys just love saying those words, and they love bathroom humor. Thankfully, they seem to know better than to say it in public, but when they're around 2 years old and shout something out in the middle of church, well...I think "boy part" doesn't grab as much attention as "penis." Just my opinion, but I think there's an appropriate age to introduce certain terminology.

jk3610

miracle4x said:

I know everyone says you should tell them the correct terms right away, but......I have three boys, and a fourth boy on the way. I think it's fine to tell them the correct terms, but you have to keep in mind what you want them possibly shouting out in public. For that reason, we call it "boy part." My oldest knows the correct term, and of course I will tell them when they are old enough, but seriously. My boys are 8, 5, and 3, and when they are all playing together, all I hear is, "Underwear!" Giggle giggle. "Butt!" Giggle giggle. "Boy part!" Giggle giggle. "Poop!" You get the idea.

Boys just love saying those words, and they love bathroom humor. Thankfully, they seem to know better than to say it in public, but when they're around 2 years old and shout something out in the middle of church, well...I think "boy part" doesn't grab as much attention as "penis." Just my opinion, but I think there's an appropriate age to introduce certain terminology.

Then teach them not to say it in public.  I can't think of a single benefit for a child of teaching them to call it weewee or hoohah.

be888

We use the correct terminology for body parts. The only one I cannot use with a straight face is vulva, because really I'm a a 12 year old boy. 

hillbillywife

We started off calling DS's penis a "Peter" because we were immature but now that he's talking and curious we call it his penis. We'll probably call DD's vagina a Vagina from the getgo because DS will be around.

Mushibamboo

I use both with my daughter because she had a really hard time saying vagina when she was little. She thought it was China, which was way too confusing (especially as we lived in and east Asia and she knew China was a place). So we use our family nickname for the part casually, but now that she is six she uses vagina as well.

rosemama116

justagirl86 said:

Too lazy to scroll back up to quote but if my kid yelled penis in a public place I would laugh. I don't know if I should laugh but my first reaction would definitly be laughing.

I was just thinking about that possibility. My ds is 2 so we are apparently in the danger zone for when he will yell it out at church. If it happens, I will most definitely laugh. And I know at least one of my pastors would as well. Just sayin'

I would laugh too, but I don't think it's a bad thing.  Everyone giggles and moves on.  We use proper terminology, sometimes I use "lady bits" but for the most part, it's vagina.  

On the topic of the reasoning posted above regarding empowerment...another article I read talked about how predators will rarely use anatomically correct terminology, and that if your child is used to using penis and vagina but all of a sudden starts using cutesy words, it may raise a red flag.  Granted, it very well could be because their teacher or BFF at school uses the cutesy words, but it's still a signal that they're talking about those things with someone else and to ask questions.

dana1047

When I was young (think 8-10) my best friend's little brother was named Tyler. He called his privates a "tallywhacker". For well into adulthood, anyone I met named Tyler made me think of penis/tallywhacker.

I'm super glad I got over it bc DH is named Tyler.

I figure I'll teach this little boy to call it a penis. It's actually a pretty cool word.

julievdm12

miracle4x said:

I know everyone says you should tell them the correct terms right away, but......I have three boys, and a fourth boy on the way. I think it's fine to tell them the correct terms, but you have to keep in mind what you want them possibly shouting out in public. For that reason, we call it "boy part." My oldest knows the correct term, and of course I will tell them when they are old enough, but seriously. My boys are 8, 5, and 3, and when they are all playing together, all I hear is, "Underwear!" Giggle giggle. "Butt!" Giggle giggle. "Boy part!" Giggle giggle. "Poop!" You get the idea.

Boys just love saying those words, and they love bathroom humor. Thankfully, they seem to know better than to say it in public, but when they're around 2 years old and shout something out in the middle of church, well...I think "boy part" doesn't grab as much attention as "penis." Just my opinion, but I think there's an appropriate age to introduce certain terminology.

I am a FTM, so please don't think I am telling you how to parent. I do nanny 5 kids, 2 of which are boys, 6 and 4 and I personally do not agree with the parent's way of parenting in this matter and in light of that have formed opinions on how I think I would do things differently. With our own child, hubby and I would say while boys may like bathroom humour, it is still inappropriate and i would say it should be reinforced that it is unacceptable if overheard.
As you already stated, thankfully they know not to speak about it in public, so if they have learned that very important lesson, what is beneficial to having them refer to it as a "boy part" instead of "penis" when it's in private anyway?
And I know it still could be embarrassing if shouted out in public, but personally I would almost be happier to hear "penis" shouted in public rather than some other cutesy word, because it means kids are being taught things in an honest and matter of fact way. And depending on the age of the kid I would probably be pretty quick to excuse it as a kid still learning what is acceptable.
I wish I could find the article that I read this in, but someone said that when you call body parts by something other than it's proper name, and then they learn the truth elsewhere, you establish yourself as an unreliable source and run the risk of them going elsewhere for further info on private/sexual matters. And to me, that makes total sense. I grew up with slightly "prudish" parents and I ended up getting most of my knowledge from friends (a lot of it wrong, in the early years) I don't want my kid to do that. My hubby and I hope to establish ourselves as the confident source our kid can come to so we can give them proper info as well as have open honest discussions about what is appropriate.

angelike81

I'm Hispanic and as a culture we are very conservative. So penis and vagina would have been a bad word. Definitely something you wouldn't say in front of your dad. So I grew up with nicknames for vaginas. All the girls in my family referred to it as a Cookie Monster. I have no idea what they referred to a penis. My husband has two daughters from his previous marriage and I kind of picked up on his nickname for a vagina which is a poochy. I don't see the harm in giving them nicknames when the kids are young but I definitely think they should also know the correct terminology before they start school. I can think of many nicknames for a vagina but I can't think of any that I would use for a penis. I agree with many who dislike pee-pee or wee-wee for penis. Does anyone have other suggestions on a nickname for a penis besides those two

lindsayanne14

I call it his penis, he calls it pee pee. He's 16 months and much of what he says at this point is a garbled attempt at whatever I've said. We plan to be straight forward and honest in an age appropriate way with sex and body info.

I'm also in the no forced hugs and kisses camp. I can see it being an issue with my in laws as they always request them when we leave, DS is agreeable at this point but when he's older I will tell him he doesn't have to give hugs and kisses to anyone (even DH and me) if he isn't comfortable.

bmblebea

@trollsniper‌ your text post made me laugh! Sounds exactly like my husband. He's on board with calling genitals by their proper name but whenever I bring up not giving an iPad to our kids until they are older he has the same reaction of laughing and then saying he's going to find articles that prove me wrong lol. I don't care how many articles he finds, we are not getting an iPad for our infant

kitc101

We will be calling body parts by their proper names (penis, vagina, etc). We don't make up words for an arm or a leg, and I was raised to call things by their proper names. 

I understand parents wanting to use other terms, if they are uncomfortable saying penis/vagina/breasts. HOWEVER- I'd like to share a short and sad story so please watch what you nickname your child's private areas... 

This happened with a child when I was going through college to get my social work degree: 

Child started to HATE going to Grandma and Grandpa's. He kept telling his parents that he didn't like when he and Grandpa played with their trucks. Parents just assumed child was being a little turd. Child started really acting out and being skiddish, so parents took him in to see a therapist. Social worker got called. After a bit of interviewing, found out that Grandpa told the little boy his penis was called a truck... 

acrotzer

I say use the correct terms based on experiences with my nephew. I don't know why, but my sister called his penis his "hammer." When he was 2, he had an infatuation with all super heroes and wearing masks.

Enter Thor.

My DH, who had no idea about their name selection for privates (and how
Could he have ever have guessed?) said "Hey Thor, show me your hammer," to which my nephew promptly dropped his pants.

This could have created a lot of awkwardness and confusion if there wasn't an audience present.

clover28

My DH is a physician and I'm a nurse practitioner, and we still call our dogs penis a "peep". For example, he's in diapers (don't get me started) and last night DH told me to make sure to cover his peep when I put the diaper on. Obviously, we have some discussions to have before our little boy gets here.

epidemic

This is all I can think of right now:

jamiesc58

kitc101 I wish I would have never read your comment at all. It makes me want to throw up and isn't something you can just get out of your head once you read it. I am literally sitting at my desk almost in tears. People who can do that kind of stuff to kids (or anyone) do not deserve a place on this earth!

alexis95

I haven't really thought of what we'll teach our son to call his penis. When I was little, my sister and I used privates and pee pee for our lady parts, and for whatever reason po-po for our butts. I've never felt uncomfortable using the correct terminology and my mom always told us never to let anyone see or touch our private parts besides my parents or the doctor and that worked perfectly fine. So I'll probably use privates until he gets old enough to understand what a penis is if I explain it to him.

kitc101

@jamiesc58‌ if it helps at all, the parents had caught on to the odd behavior of their child fairly quickly and Grandpa is now behind bars. If it helps... at all.

picklesx

DS has just started referring to everything that is covered by hisdiaper as "my butt". He's learning to use the toilet now and has become more interested in his penis now but Idont know that I'm ready to teach him "penis" just yet. I might just refer to it as his privates until he is past the stage of repeating everything in public.

af2004rn

My DH and I had to take courses to be foster parents. One of the take aways that I remember was that you should NOT use cutesy words for private parts.  For example, "Soandso took my cookie." That  might be a literal statement or might not. Using appropriate words protects children. Personally, I think referring to them in general as privates, is pretty clear and unlikely to be mistaken.

Scarlettg

In my family we used "privates," which served as a blanket term for all parts of the nether-regions and reiterated that they shouldn't be uncovered in public.  My parents and grandparents also made clear that no one is allowed to touch your privates unless you give them permission.  I never felt weird about my body, or shameful, it just was what it was.  

I hadn't thought about what we'd call the baby's nether-regions.  We're team green, so we don't know which set of terminology we'd be looking for, but I'm thinking we'll start with "privates" and then move to specific anatomical references.  I totally see the potential issues in using cutesy euphemisms so thanks PPs for that!

jamiesc58

picklesx I think you have a while before you are safe in public with a small child lol. They will destroy in front of anyone they can! My little guy tells all to anyone who will listen and he is 5. His favorite stories are always the most embarrassing for me.

topaz7777

We use hiney and butt.  She knows the difference.  I didn't think I needed to get into the complexity of things quite yet.

bowman958

SharkFarts said:

We call them privates. I grew up doing the same and never felt a "dirty" connotation because of that. Better privates than some made up word!

This is our plan. We will explain, "that is your vagina. In public, we say privates instead of vagina. When you are talking to mommy or daddy, it's ok to say either vagina or privates."

redneckmomma25

trollsniper said:

We use hiney and butt.  She knows the difference.  I didn't think I needed to get into the complexity of things quite yet.

I'm not even sure I know the difference! Haha. I've only ever used "hiney" and "butt" to refer to a buttocks. And that's probably a main reason that the anatomical terms are suggested. There's no doubt what they refer to when you hear them! No judgment on the terms you use tho! Just my observation about other words--they're more open for interpretation.

Hiney has always been butt to me as well. 

My sister calls the girl's vagina a coolie (sp?). I hate that term since a coulis is a type of sauce.  

George2n

Ok, I might be over-thinking this, but I have been wondering this for a while. I know and have read that it is best to teach your children anatomically correct terms for their private parts. However, for a girl this is slightly more complicated. Everyone is saying "penis" or "vagina", except that wouldn't it be "penis" or "uretha" and "oh by the way girls have an additional hole called a vagina"? lol. I mean, we don't pee out of our vagina! So what do I really teach her, and when is it appropriate to go into that much detail? 

Ok probably way over-thinking this. lol.

Scarlettg

George2n said:

Ok, I might be over-thinking this, but I have been wondering this for a while. I know and have read that it is best to teach your children anatomically correct terms for their private parts. However, for a girl this is slightly more complicated. Everyone is saying "penis" or "vagina", except that wouldn't it be "penis" or "uretha" and "oh by the way girls have an additional hole called a vagina"? lol. I mean, we don't pee out of our vagina! So what do I really teach her, and when is it appropriate to go into that much detail? 

Ok probably way over-thinking this. lol.

I don't think you're over-thinking it.  Referring to a woman's privates as her vagina is misleading since the vagina is only one part of the area, and not the most prominent.  That's always bugged me, though, so maybe I'm weird.  Ladies, what do you think?

topaz7777

trollsniper said:

We use hiney and butt.  She knows the difference.  I didn't think I needed to get into the complexity of things quite yet.

I'm not even sure I know the difference! Haha. I've only ever used "hiney" and "butt" to refer to a buttocks. And that's probably a main reason that the anatomical terms are suggested. There's no doubt what they refer to when you hear them! No judgment on the terms you use tho! Just my observation about other words--they're more open for interpretation.

She uses hiney for the front area and butt for the rear.  She's two, so I didn't think I'd need to really get into detail on it.  When we get to that I'll be more anatomically specific.

justyouraveragemama

As a kid my parents used private parts as a blanket term for everything but we still called the penis and vagina exactly that because that's what they are. There was only one case of confusion for me, which was a female pro wrestler named china. I thought her name was vagina and so that's what I called her when we talked about wrestling. So I was confused on what was being discussed half the time. And cue the many questions about why her parents named her vagina.

Edit because it's still early and words are hard.

kitc101

Scarlettg said:

George2n said:

Ok, I might be over-thinking this, but I have been wondering this for a while. I know and have read that it is best to teach your children anatomically correct terms for their private parts. However, for a girl this is slightly more complicated. Everyone is saying "penis" or "vagina", except that wouldn't it be "penis" or "uretha" and "oh by the way girls have an additional hole called a vagina"? lol. I mean, we don't pee out of our vagina! So what do I really teach her, and when is it appropriate to go into that much detail? 

Ok probably way over-thinking this. lol.

I don't think you're over-thinking it.  Referring to a woman's privates as her vagina is misleading since the vagina is only one part of the area, and not the most prominent.  That's always bugged me, though, so maybe I'm weird.  Ladies, what do you think?

There's actually a scene is Orange is the New Black that covers this. It's pretty entertaining.

MudLover

We say girls have tooties and boys have ding dings. I don't know what it is but hearing a small child say penis or vagina just rubs me the wrong way. When I was a child we had nicknames for privates or just said privates. When I hit a certain age my mom sat me down and explained in detail everything to me. I plan on doing the same thing with my daughter. I never had body image issues, confusion or felt ashamed about anything. 

catlover790

I plan to be very open with our children and call parts their correct names/terms. My parents were very strict/didn't ever bring up topics about sex etc. I always felt that I didn't know anything until I had those school videos in elementary school! I don't want that for my child; I plan to talk about topics as they come up in an age-appropriate ways.

RNmama2b

DH and I plan on using anatomical terminology! I can see both sides. I grew up in a family where that was our "privates" and we didn't discuss it or anything to do with our privates unless we had an issue (medical) that needed addressed! I'm an ER nurse and it can be like translating a foreign language sometimes when children and adults alike are talking about their issues! An example: "my tootsie hurts" how is someone else supposed to know what that means! But no judgement either way, I could see either side of it! I'm sure I will eat my words the first time my little guy yells something out in public about his penis!

Edit: is to his (chubby finger problems)

doxiemom415

I'm gonna be real honest, currently, use of the word vagina makes me giggle. HOWEVER, just because H and I are 13 year olds doesn't mean we'll pass that immaturity on to our children, haha. We'll be honest with them and the correct terms for whatever they want to know, but also realistic in "in public, we say privates" or something of the sort. As kids are unpredictable and who knows when the word vagina is going to come out of their screaming mouths.