We bought a house! It's just not finished yet and has been under construction in the meantime. We don't have the money to go anywhere else in the meantime.
can you rent something until the house is done? i kind of agree with @rsaj0807. he does sound like a super asshole, you aren't off base there. but it's technically his house. if he wants to be a messy asshole, it's not right to tell him how to run his house. (even if i agree that it's gross.) why continue to put yourself through the stress when you're pregnant?
Yes he can be a dick on his own home, some might not agree with my thoughts but I would simply turn around to the entire family husband included and tell them too sort there attitudes out and trying to bully and control you, I wouldn't be surprised if that creap was going through your clothes tell him to do one move out! And tell him and his daughter don't bother to try and be apart of your family until they keep there shitty comments to their selves and treat you like a human being and not less than a peice of shot underfoot.
I don't think you have a right to complain about how someone else keeps their house. It's their house. You especially don't if you are staying there for free. If you are paying rent then rent someplace else.
Two months. It doesn't stop there- I've had horrible, debilitating ms my whole pregnancy. It never went away. The other day I walked in and he was cleaning w bleach and vinegar and eating sardines. I immediately puked and then he got mad at me for puking. I lost my job Bc of my ms, hence us not being about to rent a place in the meantime.
Wow I can imagine the smell! Try and clean and tidy things away when he's not around or asleep be a bit of a creaper I would! And if I was you I would by some locks put your personal stuff in and lock it! With a sarcastic note on top for when he tries to give the it's my house nothing is secret blah blah!
I get it- you all think I'm nuts for living here but it is so far out of my hands at this point. I'm not going to a homeless shelter pregnant. The big question is how do I deal w these dicks in the long run? I basically want to excommunicate my daughter and I from this family but don't want to lose my husband.
Tell him the truth because in a honesty no matter how close or far away you have to live from them only so many excuses for not going will pass it's his home yes I do get that I'm not thick but reguardles some of his comments are a bit unnecessary in my opinion which I am entitled to say.
In regards to your situation I really hope you do get it sorted you don't need this kind of stress during your pregnancy, and I hope your pregnancy is all okay xx
No offense- this isn't very helpful. How about some real advice? I've made it clear that leaving right now isn't an option. Staying is driving me insane. Help??
No offense- this isn't very helpful. How about some real advice? I've made it clear that leaving right now isn't an option. Staying is driving me insane. Help??
I gave you my advise, as I said don't let it stress you out in the mean time
No offense- this isn't very helpful. How about some real advice? I've made it clear that leaving right now isn't an option. Staying is driving me insane. Help??
Let's see, could you pay a mortgage and rental simultaneously while unemployed and five months pregnant w the inability to work? Yeah, me neither, I only have so much savings to get me to the other side.
Either a: get over it or b: leave only two options you are under his roof, so either suck it up or leave and seeing as leaving isn't an option then get over it. Beggars can't be chooser.
I agree with others, the situation sounds horrendous and I understand you don't have a whole lot of control over it at the moment. But it is his house, you'll have to deal for now. I would say all you can do for now is interact with him as little as possible, give one word answers, polite but standoffish. Give him very little ammunition to use against you. Leave as soon as you're financially able. Then you need to have a talk with your husband once you are back in your own place. If your FIL has been treating you this terribly all along, even before you were living with him, I sure hope DH has stood up for you. I would never allow my family to treat DH this way. I get it if he bites his tongue while you're living under his roof , but once you move out some boundaries about how your FIL and SIL treat you need to be set- by your husband.
Me-24~~ DH-25~~Married 6/15/2013~~Pregnant with our first due April 2, 2015~ Septate/ Bicornuate/Arcuate /some kind of not-normal uterus- won't know for sure which one till after babe is born~~Hoping for a full term baby!
Honestly, this post is ridiculous. Your asking for help and just getting defensive about the answers. There are two sides to every story and while he may be a jerk we don't know anything about you. Move out or don't. What other advice is there to give?
No offense- this isn't very helpful. How about some real advice? I've made it clear that leaving right now isn't an option. Staying is driving me insane. Help??
I'm sorry for your previous loss and the stress you are under. I agree that your FIL sounds like a very difficult person to live with. What does your H think about everything? My H would not want me to be stressed and upset during my pregnancy.
You ask for advice and mine would be to find another friend or family member you could stay with until the house is done. Even if money is tight, maybe find a place you can rent if it's only two more months. When you own a home a lot of unexpected expenses can come up so I would try to justify the rent in that way.
If you insist on staying I'd say spend as little time at the house as possible. He doesn't sound very nice but if it's his house it's hard to tell him how to be.
***********siggy warning **********
Me: 26 DH: 27
TTC #1 Since Aug. 2013
Cycle 1: O CD 25=bfn
Cycle 2: O CD 48=bfn
Cycle 3: Anovulatory/Provera =120 days!
Cycle 4: Anovulatory/Prometrium=127 days! RE consult 6/16
Yes I'm paying for everything. No, this is our only option right now.
I'm confused. Does your SO work? I'm guessing you are married since you say FIL, but I'm a little confused as you don't really mention his/her opinion on any of this. What does your H/partner think?
Also, you seem to be upset that people recommend budgeting for unexpected costs but it is important especially if you're having a child. I was laid off a few years ago and we had to make it work on our own. If my H suggested living with my parents as a way to save money I would've laughed at him because I would not want to live with my parents now! I would've gotten a second job to bring in more money before agreeing to that.
***********siggy warning **********
Me: 26 DH: 27
TTC #1 Since Aug. 2013
Cycle 1: O CD 25=bfn
Cycle 2: O CD 48=bfn
Cycle 3: Anovulatory/Provera =120 days!
Cycle 4: Anovulatory/Prometrium=127 days! RE consult 6/16
no need for the DD. we were trying to offer advice. not sure how else we can help a complete stranger via the internet without knowing more about the situation.
no need for the DD. we were trying to offer advice. not sure how else we can help a complete stranger via the internet without knowing more about the situation.
Obviously she just wants people to tell her how sorry they are for her and her situation that can't so anything about without actually offering advice because none of it is an option.
no need for the DD. we were trying to offer advice. not sure how else we can help a complete stranger via the internet without knowing more about the situation.
But FIL doesn't clean and then he does. And, they can't afford to move out, but they pay for everything.
What a tangled web we weave when trying to deceive.
Me-24~~ DH-25~~Married 6/15/2013~~Pregnant with our first due April 2, 2015~ Septate/ Bicornuate/Arcuate /some kind of not-normal uterus- won't know for sure which one till after babe is born~~Hoping for a full term baby!
Lparisi1987
member
Re: BA
Look slightly dumb as it barly makes sense
A15 January Siggy Challenge-
If the mess bothers you, you can clean?
A15 January Siggy Challenge-
Me-24~~ DH-25~~Married 6/15/2013~~Pregnant with our first due April 2, 2015~ Septate/ Bicornuate/Arcuate /some kind of not-normal uterus- won't know for sure which one till after babe is born~~Hoping for a full term baby!
You ask for advice and mine would be to find another friend or family member you could stay with until the house is done. Even if money is tight, maybe find a place you can rent if it's only two more months. When you own a home a lot of unexpected expenses can come up so I would try to justify the rent in that way.
If you insist on staying I'd say spend as little time at the house as possible. He doesn't sound very nice but if it's his house it's hard to tell him how to be.
So what's the point of the post? You can't tell your FIL what to do in his own house?
I'm confused. Does your SO work? I'm guessing you are married since you say FIL, but I'm a little confused as you don't really mention his/her opinion on any of this. What does your H/partner think?
Also, you seem to be upset that people recommend budgeting for unexpected costs but it is important especially if you're having a child. I was laid off a few years ago and we had to make it work on our own. If my H suggested living with my parents as a way to save money I would've laughed at him because I would not want to live with my parents now! I would've gotten a second job to bring in more money before agreeing to that.
A15 January Siggy Challenge-
Me-24~~ DH-25~~Married 6/15/2013~~Pregnant with our first due April 2, 2015~ Septate/ Bicornuate/Arcuate /some kind of not-normal uterus- won't know for sure which one till after babe is born~~Hoping for a full term baby!