STM
I was only adamant on:
Breast feeding as long as possible and made it to a year (half of that SAH and half working). I wasn't working FT then and had a different job, and am not sure how long I'll make it this time- we shall see.
Limiting sugar- we have sugar (not when he was a baby, but as he's gotten older) and sugary items in the house but they are looked at as treats. It keeps him from going too crazy at other people's house when confronted with the choice of sugar (and trust me when your kid gets bigger and stays with friends or goes to birthday parties- unhealthy food choices will come up). I like for him to be comfortable eating a small amount, but not want to gorge. (though one year he told someone he didn't want any birthday cake...lol).
Also, remember- sometimes we stick to things and it's great, other times we find we have to be flexible in parenting. I have noticed that once your kid gets in big kid school you become more flexible- some natural because they are getting older and sometimes b/c you didn't anticipate something coming up. My advice don't beat yourself up over it.
This time, I have not set must do's. I have things I'd like to try:
Cloth diapering at home (once she fits into the diapers- I was not spending a bunch of money on a newborn stash).
Making my own baby food (didn't do this with my son- so we'll see if I do with her)
Not bed sharing this time (we have a temperpedic type mattress now and I am afraid baby could suffocate, but plan on having a pack n play near the bed, and we have a small mattress in the baby room so either way should be good.
Honestly though I'm not over thinking it as much this time. Could be because I am more concerned about getting my son through the trials and tribulations of fourth grade and running him to his after school stuff, trying to keep the house clean, etc.
One thing that has naturally evolved with my son is him helping in the kitchen, which I think for anyone who cooks at home is a good thing. He has broadened his food choices, and honestly comes up with good meal ideas and can cook pretty good for a 9 yr. old. He even mentioned the other day he wants to start making some meals all by himself. Might be a way for those who are planning on feeding their kids a certain way to help develop good habits that will stay . That being said we don't eat healthy every night and don't home cook all the time either (pizza, processed food (my son loves HB helper-with all kinds of veggie additions)... and yes (flame away) my kid eats fast food sometimes too.
Arguing I have found is a normal thing- you kid doesn't come out of the womb mature and able to have adult conversation or know social rules, parental boundaries etc. Plus, it seems every couple of years they have to re-test b/c they have naturally developed better reasoning skills and notice things they didn't before. Especially long term (past baby and toddler years). They have to learn to discuss things at some point, but it is a process- and even at 9 my son argues sometimes.
Just do your best ladies and all will be well- good luck to us all!!
To all discussing bedsharing, safest practice is for baby to be next to a breastfeedimg mom only. Not next to dad. Even if you are against the idea, it's a good idea to research safety guidelines before you're desperate at 3am. https://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/
This. You can buy foam bumpers ("magic bumpers") on Amazon that go under your sheet. That way baby is between you and the edge of the bed. No covers. No pillows. Not trying to talk anyone into trying it but it's important to know there are ways to do it safely. My first was such a miserable baby and nothing else worked. He didn't sleep in a crib for 7 months, despite my plans.
STM.... Some of the comments from FTM make me giggle, not directly at you, but because I know what's coming..... These little humans will tell you what to do before they can even talk. I have three, and each one has been so dramatically different as far as what parenting style works for them!!
Something I've stuck to; NO SODA!! I hate that crap!! And it's been super hard because both of my SIL's have given my niece and nephew soda around age one!! And my kids always wanted some. Now that they are older (7,8 and 9) it's hard to Shelter them from it, so they have had "kid soda" aka sprite .... But only on super special occasions like holidays and birthdays.
Things I've backed down on: When I was a FTM I promised myself my kid would NEVER be that messy faced kid you didn't want to get anywhere near because his/her face was covered in food and some kind of dirt. I promised myself my kids face and hands would always clean....... Yeah right..... Tiny human hit one and that rule went out the window!!! Sometime you need to pick your battles
2) no paci. Even though I threatened to cut my mom's finger off, she did have the need to suck. Heaven sent. Unfortunately we are still stuck with the damn paci. She's going to go to college with the paci at this rate. I only let her indulge for bedtime but damn she loves that thing!
OMG, yes! I swore I would not allow my toddler to have a paci, but he still uses it. He looooves it more than anything. He also only gets it at night and it's taken away first thing in the morning, but I dread the day I take it away, which needs to be sooner rather than later.
I'm only chiming in on bed sharing. It's dangerous. I have said it before and I'll say it again. There are so many risks in bed sharing incidents. You would be really surprised how many infants die per year in these situations. I work in a large county and we track them, it's sometimes just a few a month and other times more. Is it often done irresponsibily? Yes I would say mostly but other times it's just tired normal parents trying to get through the night. Please just think about what I'm saying and do some research on your own before you share your bed with an infant. I'm not trying to be judgey.
It is dangerous when certain precautions are not taken. When baby is not sleeping with mom, when baby is not breastfed, when mom is sleep deprived (more extreme deprivation), under sleep aids, is a smoker, is a heavy sleeper, is intoxicated, etc. It is not inherently dangerous. Just like @danisgossipgirl said, it should be thoroughly weighed and researched prior to reaching one's breaking point and bringing baby into bed under less than ideal circumstances.
Conclusions:There are certain circumstances when bed sharing should be avoided, particularly for infants under four months old. Parents sleeping on a sofa with infants should always be avoided. There is no evidence that bed sharing is hazardous for infants of parents who do not smoke.
Key messsages
Cosleeping with an infant on a sofa was associated with a particularly high risk of sudden infant death syndrome
Sharing a room with the parents was associated with a lower risk
There was no increased risk associated with bed sharing when the infant was placed back in his or her cot
Among parents who do not smoke or infants older than 14 weeks there was no association between infants being found in the parental bed and an increased risk of sudden infant death syndrome
The risk linked with bed sharing among younger infants seems to be associated with recent parental consumption of alcohol, overcrowded housing conditions, extreme parental tiredness, and the infant being under a duvet
G 12.04 | E 11.06 | D 11.08 | H 12.09 | R 11.14 | Expecting #6 2.16.18.
We never bed-shared but we did co-sleep (I guess - I really didn't think of it that way until now) until Nathan was almost a year old. I was terrified of SIDS and just couldn't bring myself to move him into his own room.
This time, we're moving baby as soon as possible. We ALL slept better in separate rooms. It was the best thing for us.
STMs: 1) One thing you said you'd never do and actually stuck to the plan
The only NEVER I said was that we would not spank. So far so good. We said we would TRY to never give formula as I wanted to breastfeed, but understood that it would not be something we would be against if I failed. I made it to 19 months and my son self-weaned, so I'm hoping for a similar experience this time around. 2) One thing you said you'd never do, and did within about 3 days (or 3 months)
I said I would never pump and dump (it's like liquid gold!!). Then I actually had a full night out and the next morning when I pumped, the milk had a blue tint to it. Straight down the sink THAT batch went!
Our #2 is on the way!
BFP #1 - 08.2008, EDD 3.19.09 - Missed MC at 9 weeks - 09.2008
@danisgossipgirl - I'm glad I'm not the only one. I'd have strange colors every now and then, but this time it was like Smurf milk :P I could handle the occasional light blue or green if I hadn't been drinking, but this time was a doozy.
Our #2 is on the way!
BFP #1 - 08.2008, EDD 3.19.09 - Missed MC at 9 weeks - 09.2008
1) I can say for certain that I will never knowingly let my infant/toddler/small child ride in a car without being in a buckled car seat. I never even knew that this was a thing that anyone would allow until a couple months ago when someone talked about it on here and got completely flamed. And then I mentioned to a friend IRL, and she said, "well, you know, if it's just a short distance, and the kid is putting up a fight and screaming, sometimes it's easier to just give in." Um, no.
- Also think I can stick to no soda, just because neither DH or I ever drink it, nor does anyone in either of our direct families. I'll be ok with if someone gives them some at a birthday party or something though.
2) There are so many things (breastfeeding, cloth diapering, limited screen time, etc.), but who knows....
I would love to follow the guidelines and have no screen time until after a few years. But, there is just no way that our kiddo is not going to be watching some sort of sports event with her dad on a regular basis. And, honestly, I like that they'll have that to share like DH had with his mom.
Anyone else in this boat - no screen time except sports? Also, when they (the AAP) recommend no screen time before age two, does that mean not watching TV while breastfeeding, etc?
I said I would never let my baby cry in a resturant to where it disrupts others. We've stuck to that. We never went out when he was little and colicky and as he got older one of use would just take him outside if he started to cry. At about 9/10 months he started being more interested when we went out and generally well behaved unless he was really tired.
I said I would never let babies/toddlers use my phone/tablet, especially not on a regular basis. HAHAHA
You guys are scaring me with how often "baby won't sleep with us" has come up as something you claimed and now happens... it's not something as a FTM that I will say "never" about - asides from abusing my child there isn't much I am willing to go that far about, but I will say that my hopes are that it does not happen...
My kids don't sleep with us. I was never comfortable nursing in bed, so we never did it. Our oldest is 3 and if he wakes up at night I take him back to his room. Its just about what you are ok with. Some people swear its sooo hard to put them back in bed at night. For me it was worth it to never start bedsharing so it was never an issue.
STMs: 1) One thing you said you'd never do and actually stuck to the plan
The only NEVER I said was that we would not spank. So far so good. We said we would TRY to never give formula as I wanted to breastfeed, but understood that it would not be something we would be against if I failed. I made it to 19 months and my son self-weaned, so I'm hoping for a similar experience this time around. 2) One thing you said you'd never do, and did within about 3 days (or 3 months)
I said I would never pump and dump (it's like liquid gold!!). Then I actually had a full night out and the next morning when I pumped, the milk had a blue tint to it. Straight down the sink THAT batch went!
Um, the milk was likely totally fine. My milk has looked blueish, yellowish and even greenish. Totally normal
TTM I said I would never ever let my kid throw a tantrum in public or at a restraunt and not remove them. I have stuck to that, even when it made my life difficult.
I was pretty judgey before I had kids and I broke all of my rules, the biggest with the worst consequence: I said I would never ever put my baby to bed with a bottle in his mouth and I would take it away at one, broke both those rules.. and guess whose kid had baby bottle tooth rot ? Mine ! He only ever had formula or milk too.
STM: I said id never allow a pacifier, having a disrespectful child, tantrums, or co-sleeping. I have stuck to all of these.
My son is 2 and will tell you please, thank you, and sorry. I do not allow disrespct at all in my household nor do i put up with tantrums. I am the parent he is not so what i say goes and if there is a tantrum or back talk he gets disciplined. I hate being told "No" or " I dont have to"
I spank my child, my husband and i were both raised in households where we got our ass spanked if we did wrong and same goes in our household.
I do not like my kids in bed with me so co-sleeping was a no go and i stuck with it. DS sleep in a sleeper next to the bed till 5 months and then he was moved to his crib where he has slept since then.
We dont have a limit on tv time cause we are outside most of the day anyways or running around town so we are never home long enough to watch tv.
He eats what we eat that is how it has always been. We allowed sweets and junk food in our house and we limit to how much he gets.
My list could go on. All of these things will still be in affect for this LO as well.
STM: I said id never allow a pacifier, having a disrespectful child, tantrums, or co-sleeping. I have stuck to all of these.
My son is 2 and will tell you please, thank you, and sorry. I do not allow disrespct at all in my household nor do i put up with tantrums. I am the parent he is not so what i say goes and if there is a tantrum or back talk he gets disciplined. I hate being told "No" or " I dont have to"
I spank my child, my husband and i were both raised in households where we got our ass spanked if we did wrong and same goes in our household.
I do not like my kids in bed with me so co-sleeping was a no go and i stuck with it. DS sleep in a sleeper next to the bed till 5 months and then he was moved to his crib where he has slept since then.
We dont have a limit on tv time cause we are outside most of the day anyways or running around town so we are never home long enough to watch tv.
He eats what we eat that is how it has always been. We allowed sweets and junk food in our house and we limit to how much he gets.
My list could go on. All of these things will still be in affect for this LO as well.
One thing i caved on... nothing yet.
QFP
You're a brave woman for admitting that you SPANK YOUR 2 YEAR OLD.
STM:
I said id never allow a pacifier, having a disrespectful child, tantrums, or co-sleeping.
I have stuck to all of these.
My son is 2 and will tell you please, thank you, and sorry. I do not allow disrespct at all in my household nor do i put up with tantrums. I am the parent he is not so what i say goes and if there is a tantrum or back talk he gets disciplined. I hate being told "No" or " I dont have to"
I spank my child, my husband and i were both raised in households where we got our ass spanked if we did wrong and same goes in our household.
I do not like my kids in bed with me so co-sleeping was a no go and i stuck with it. DS sleep in a sleeper next to the bed till 5 months and then he was moved to his crib where he has slept since then.
We dont have a limit on tv time cause we are outside most of the day anyways or running around town so we are never home long enough to watch tv.
He eats what we eat that is how it has always been. We allowed sweets and junk food in our house and we limit to how much he gets.
My list could go on. All of these things will still be in affect for this LO as well.
One thing i caved on... nothing yet.
QFP
You're a brave woman for admitting that you SPANK YOUR 2 YEAR OLD.
Yeah I'm not even touching that one. If I liked popcorn...I think now would be the time to get it ready.
D14 November Siggy Challenge: The feels of 3rd trimester...
For 1 my child is very mature for a two year old and I said spank like swat not beat the hell out of there is a BIG difference. My parents spanked me and my siblings and i have the up most respect for my parents and i turned out just fine. I find it hilarious that out of the 300+ woman on this board im the only one that spanks my child. And 2 i didnt understand the whole insurance thing and was looking for more help to understand it and i didnt expect it to be free but thanks for putting words in my mouth. Lol. Like i said before everyone has their own ways of parenting and raising a child. Im not going to let a 2 year old take control over me not going to happen. When he can tell me " momma you heard me" then im pretty sure he understands when he is doing wrong. Go ahead rip my ass cause thats all most of you are good at.
Once you have met my child and have seen how advanced he is for a 2 yr old then you can judge till then your opinions on how i parent my child don't mean crap.
For 1 my child is very mature for a two year old and I said spank like swat not beat the hell out of there is a BIG difference. My parents spanked me and my siblings and i have the up most respect for my parents and i turned out just fine. I find it hilarious that out of the 300+ woman on this board im the only one that spanks my child. And 2 i didnt understand the whole insurance thing and was looking for more help to understand it and i didnt expect it to be free but thanks for putting words in my mouth. Lol. Like i said before everyone has their own ways of parenting and raising a child. Im not going to let a 2 year old take control over me not going to happen. When he can tell me " momma you heard me" then im pretty sure he understands when he is doing wrong. Go ahead rip my ass cause thats all most of you are good at.
Doesn't matter if your kid is "mature" he's TWO!!!!! Also hitting/spanking is hitting/spanking. The whole I turned out fine thing as an argument is bull shit too! For example, Just because you turned out ok when you got to ride on your parents lap in the car when you were little doesn't mean your going to let your little ride on your lap now and they will turn out ok. No you put your kid in the proper car seat.
Once you have met my child and have seen how advanced he is for a 2 yr old then you can judge till then your opinions on how i parent my child don't mean crap.
For 1 my child is very mature for a two year old and I said spank like swat not beat the hell out of there is a BIG difference. My parents spanked me and my siblings and i have the up most respect for my parents and i turned out just fine. I find it hilarious that out of the 300+ woman on this board im the only one that spanks my child. And 2 i didnt understand the whole insurance thing and was looking for more help to understand it and i didnt expect it to be free but thanks for putting words in my mouth. Lol. Like i said before everyone has their own ways of parenting and raising a child. Im not going to let a 2 year old take control over me not going to happen. When he can tell me " momma you heard me" then im pretty sure he understands when he is doing wrong. Go ahead rip my ass cause thats all most of you are good at.
Right, because if you don't spank your child you are clearly letting him "take control over you". Wow.
Just in case you weren't aware, hitting your child doesn't teach him right from wrong or the critical thinking skills that he needs to make better decisions. Instead it teaches him, "when mommy gets mad, she hurts me".
As far as you "turning out just fine", I might disagree with you. You clearly lack some critical thinking and reasoning skills if you choose to disregard what is scientifically proven to be best for child in favor of hitting your child. My opinion is that most people who need to hit their kids are dealing with some anger issues and lack of coping skills.
You all talk like you are the perfect parents. I dont spank, i dont discipline, i dont let my kids watch tv or let them eat such and such foods. Why dont we all just shit rainbows and have tea parties and judge the woman that has structure and guidance in her childs life because thats insane in our world. My child loves me and respects me and if im the worlds worst mother because i spank my child than so be it. He is not beaten nor does he lack for anything so go ahead call me a bad mom your words will not change the way my child is raised.
STM: I said id never allow a pacifier, having a disrespectful child, tantrums, or co-sleeping. I have stuck to all of these.
My son is 2 and will tell you please, thank you, and sorry. I do not allow disrespct at all in my household nor do i put up with tantrums. I am the parent he is not so what i say goes and if there is a tantrum or back talk he gets disciplined. I hate being told "No" or " I dont have to"
I spank my child, my husband and i were both raised in households where we got our ass spanked if we did wrong and same goes in our household.
I do not like my kids in bed with me so co-sleeping was a no go and i stuck with it. DS sleep in a sleeper next to the bed till 5 months and then he was moved to his crib where he has slept since then.
We dont have a limit on tv time cause we are outside most of the day anyways or running around town so we are never home long enough to watch tv.
He eats what we eat that is how it has always been. We allowed sweets and junk food in our house and we limit to how much he gets.
My list could go on. All of these things will still be in affect for this LO as well.
One thing i caved on... nothing yet.
Man. I wish I could say the same. My children must be animals.
You all talk like you are the perfect parents. I dont spank, i dont discipline, i dont let my kids watch tv or let them eat such and such foods. Why dont we all just shit rainbows and have tea parties and judge the woman that has structure and guidance in her childs life because thats insane in our world. My child loves me and respects me and if im the worlds worst mother because i spank my child than so be it. He is not beaten nor does he lack for anything so go ahead call me a bad mom your words will not change the way my child is raised.
Nope, your post makes it seem like you think you're the best mom. News flash the best parents admit their flaws. I have structure and rules in my house and my kids respect me as well. However I don't have to spank them to achieve that.
1) One thing you said you'd never do and actually stuck to the plan
I tried to not say "never" but I was hoping to breastfeed for a year, and actually made it to 2. I also said "no soda," and while my son might have stolen a sip here or there, we have never purposefully allowed him to have soda. He drinks milk and water, with juice occasionally.
2) One thing you said you'd never do, and did within about 3 days (or 3 months)
Again, tried not to say never. But screen time is probably where I've relaxed the most. My son gets to watch Sesame Street most days. We also have the TV on for a long time on Sundays during football season. And if we're in the store or at a restaurant, and he is getting restless, then a puzzle app on my phone is far preferable to tantrums and having to leave. As many others have said, it's about moderation.
As far as "co-sleeping," I think AAP tries to use "room sharing" and "bed sharing" to clearly differentiate between baby having its own bed in the parents' room, and sharing the parents' bed.
Also, pacis in some studies were associated with decreased incidence of SIDS.
You all talk like you are the perfect parents. I dont spank, i dont discipline, i dont let my kids watch tv or let them eat such and such foods. Why dont we all just shit rainbows and have tea parties and judge the woman that has structure and guidance in her childs life because thats insane in our world.
My child loves me and respects me and if im the worlds worst mother because i spank my child than so be it. He is not beaten nor does he lack for anything so go ahead call me a bad mom your words will not change the way my child is raised.
Structure and guidance are taught with routine and authority. By authority I mean letting your child know you are the boss, similar to letting your dog know you are the alpha. I am a FTM, I will never claim to be perfect. I have a niece and nephew where I am very active in their lives. My niece would climb on the coffee table, we would tell her to get down, she was 18 months. If she wouldn't on her own, we picked her up and put her down and did time out for 1 minute. She climbed up there one day, put her hands on her hips and told me "Get down!", I literally almost peed my pants laughing. Never once did it occur to me to spank her(I got swatted with a spoon a few times and spanked once). That sassy little 8 year old is a handful now, while she has respect, she also knows how far to push her limits. But my sister was very rigid on her daily routine, still is with them at 8. Being naive on your discipline choices when someone points it out to you is your choice, but your child is in a sense beaten.
D14 - Free For All
In loving memory of Baby HP42 and all D14 Angel Babies
I'm a FTM without any personal experience of spanking, but this thread inspired me to read several studies that have come out over the past decade (most of which find impacts from spanking to be on the border of statically significant and trivial) and note that all the studies seem to find greater than 50% of mothers spank their children (see https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24144718) - which surprised me given the strong consensus against it on these threads. Presumably that 57% number is self-reported, so you would think it underestimates women who have spanked their children and regret it.
I personally would like to see a longitudinal study of spanking outcomes controlled against parents' anger management capabilities, as I am curious whether the spanking itself is more destructive than the general parenting strategy of parents who think a quick whack is the best manner of discipline.
"And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."
I'm just glad someone finally pointed out "utmost." Shit was killing me. I'm not going to act perfect here, and I'll admit, I have smacked DS on the hand...once when he was reaching for a hot stove burner and another time when he tried to pull out my sister's IV while we were visiting her. Totally reactionary and I felt HORRIBLE. I can't imagine resorting to spanking as a discipline method...
I'm just glad someone finally pointed out "utmost." Shit was killing me. I'm not going to act perfect here, and I'll admit, I have smacked DS on the hand...once when he was reaching for a hot stove burner and another time when he tried to pull out my sister's IV while we were visiting her. Totally reactionary and I felt HORRIBLE. I can't imagine resorting to spanking as a discipline method...
^^This... I have not formed a completely definitive opinion on spanking except for that I feel that there are definitely better more effective methods for teaching discipline and appropriate behavior. I kind of assume that I if I do spank or swat it would be a result of a safety matter like @JRod mentioned.... reactionary to my kid being about to injure herself or do something ridiculously dangerous. I cant imagine spanking or hitting being my primary method of discipline. And yes, I was spanked as a kid and yes I consider myself to have turned out pretty well too. I find a lot of value in time outs and discussing a child's behaviors with them to get to the root of the problem.
FTM - I agree with @MissChristineMarie as far as the pacifiers go...I can't stand them - not only do I hope that I can get awy without using one but I have given strict instructions to our families that they are not do it behind my back.
I also hope that I can limit any activiy with iPads, iPhones etc - I actually saw flipping through the TV one day that Nickelodian (sp) cancelled programming and had a note across the screen encouraging kids to go out and play. I was pumped - I played with neighborhood kids every day growing up and can't stand the way kids can use an iPad before they can have a conversation with someone, seems so wrong and they don't look up from it! GO PLAY KICKBALL! lol
Oh the spanking debate. As a FTM, I can't tell anyone what the best parenting method is for their kids. All I can go on are my own experiences. There are just so many different things that count as "spanking" from the light smack to stop a kid from burning themselves to the insanity I grew up around where spanking was a kind of drawn out abusive ritual. I was lucky that my family got out of the worst of it but I knew a lot of kids who were beat very harshly for any infraction in order to teach them respect. And you know what? They seemed super mature for their ages. They were the smiling polite children that never talked back and held doors open for you. They were just so super "happy" and good because they were terrified of expressing themselves. And many of them fell into mental illness and drug abuse later in life.
My experiences are extreme, I know, but it has definitely had an impact on how I feel about spankings. I know many won't agree, but I just don't think scaring or causing physical pain does anything to teach a child how to handle their emotions and actions. I honestly would rather see a toddler who talks back or gets sassy than one who sits quietly at the dinner table too scared to move out of line. Maturity should take a while. Learning respect and discipline should take time. It's easy to make a little robot that acts right (see the Pearl's method) but it takes a lot longer to raise an independent kid that will be good without the fear of punishment.
In memory of the baby Hufflepuff and all the angel babies of D14
Re: Things you'd "never" do...
Some of the comments from FTM make me giggle, not directly at you, but because I know what's coming..... These little humans will tell you what to do before they can even talk. I have three, and each one has been so dramatically different as far as what parenting style works for them!!
Something I've stuck to;
NO SODA!! I hate that crap!! And it's been super hard because both of my SIL's have given my niece and nephew soda around age one!! And my kids always wanted some. Now that they are older (7,8 and 9) it's hard to Shelter them from it, so they have had "kid soda" aka sprite .... But only on super special occasions like holidays and birthdays.
Things I've backed down on:
When I was a FTM I promised myself my kid would NEVER be that messy faced kid you didn't want to get anywhere near because his/her face was covered in food and some kind of dirt. I promised myself my kids face and hands would always clean....... Yeah right..... Tiny human hit one and that rule went out the window!!! Sometime you need to pick your battles
Key messsages
Cosleeping with an infant on a sofa was associated with a particularly high risk of sudden infant death syndrome
Sharing a room with the parents was associated with a lower risk
There was no increased risk associated with bed sharing when the infant was placed back in his or her cot
Among parents who do not smoke or infants older than 14 weeks there was no association between infants being found in the parental bed and an increased risk of sudden infant death syndrome
The risk linked with bed sharing among younger infants seems to be associated with recent parental consumption of alcohol, overcrowded housing conditions, extreme parental tiredness, and the infant being under a duvet
1) One thing you said you'd never do and actually stuck to the plan
2) One thing you said you'd never do, and did within about 3 days (or 3 months)
Our #2 is on the way!
Our #2 is on the way!
I said I would never let my baby cry in a resturant to where it disrupts others. We've stuck to that. We never went out when he was little and colicky and as he got older one of use would just take him outside if he started to cry. At about 9/10 months he started being more interested when we went out and generally well behaved unless he was really tired.
I said I would never let babies/toddlers use my phone/tablet, especially not on a regular basis. HAHAHA
I said I would never ever let my kid throw a tantrum in public or at a restraunt and not remove them. I have stuck to that, even when it made my life difficult.
I was pretty judgey before I had kids and I broke all of my rules, the biggest with the worst consequence: I said I would never ever put my baby to bed with a bottle in his mouth and I would take it away at one, broke both those rules.. and guess whose kid had baby bottle tooth rot ? Mine ! He only ever had formula or milk too.
Baby 2: EDD: 8/06/14 CP: 11/13
I said id never allow a pacifier, having a disrespectful child, tantrums, or co-sleeping.
I have stuck to all of these.
My son is 2 and will tell you please, thank you, and sorry. I do not allow disrespct at all in my household nor do i put up with tantrums. I am the parent he is not so what i say goes and if there is a tantrum or back talk he gets disciplined. I hate being told "No" or " I dont have to"
I spank my child, my husband and i were both raised in households where we got our ass spanked if we did wrong and same goes in our household.
I do not like my kids in bed with me so co-sleeping was a no go and i stuck with it. DS sleep in a sleeper next to the bed till 5 months and then he was moved to his crib where he has slept since then.
We dont have a limit on tv time cause we are outside most of the day anyways or running around town so we are never home long enough to watch tv.
He eats what we eat that is how it has always been. We allowed sweets and junk food in our house and we limit to how much he gets.
My list could go on. All of these things will still be in affect for this LO as well.
One thing i caved on... nothing yet.
You're a brave woman for admitting that you SPANK YOUR 2 YEAR OLD.
D14 November Siggy Challenge: The feels of 3rd trimester...
Just in case you weren't aware, hitting your child doesn't teach him right from wrong or the critical thinking skills that he needs to make better decisions. Instead it teaches him, "when mommy gets mad, she hurts me".
As far as you "turning out just fine", I might disagree with you. You clearly lack some critical thinking and reasoning skills if you choose to disregard what is scientifically proven to be best for child in favor of hitting your child. My opinion is that most people who need to hit their kids are dealing with some anger issues and lack of coping skills.
My child loves me and respects me and if im the worlds worst mother because i spank my child than so be it. He is not beaten nor does he lack for anything so go ahead call me a bad mom your words will not change the way my child is raised.
The artist formerly known as "amw0914"
2) One thing you said you'd never do, and did within about 3 days (or 3 months)
As far as "co-sleeping," I think AAP tries to use "room sharing" and "bed sharing" to clearly differentiate between baby having its own bed in the parents' room, and sharing the parents' bed.
Here's a very complete article from AAP with research cited on sleep environment. Long, but lots of good info:
https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/128/5/e1341.full
My mom didn't breast feed me because she smoked (for real, see first point). I turned out fine, so I'll do that.
My mom beat the crap out of me. I turned out fine, so I'll do that.
My mom had the car seat in the front seat. I turned out fine, so I'll do that.
My mom didn't make use wear seatbelts. I turned out fine, so I'll do that.
Structure and guidance are taught with routine and authority. By authority I mean letting your child know you are the boss, similar to letting your dog know you are the alpha. I am a FTM, I will never claim to be perfect. I have a niece and nephew where I am very active in their lives. My niece would climb on the coffee table, we would tell her to get down, she was 18 months. If she wouldn't on her own, we picked her up and put her down and did time out for 1 minute. She climbed up there one day, put her hands on her hips and told me "Get down!", I literally almost peed my pants laughing. Never once did it occur to me to spank her(I got swatted with a spoon a few times and spanked once). That sassy little 8 year old is a handful now, while she has respect, she also knows how far to push her limits. But my sister was very rigid on her daily routine, still is with them at 8. Being naive on your discipline choices when someone points it out to you is your choice, but your child is in a sense beaten.
FTM - I agree with @MissChristineMarie as far as the pacifiers go...I can't stand them - not only do I hope that I can get awy without using one but I have given strict instructions to our families that they are not do it behind my back.
I also hope that I can limit any activiy with iPads, iPhones etc - I actually saw flipping through the TV one day that Nickelodian (sp) cancelled programming and had a note across the screen encouraging kids to go out and play. I was pumped - I played with neighborhood kids every day growing up and can't stand the way kids can use an iPad before they can have a conversation with someone, seems so wrong and they don't look up from it! GO PLAY KICKBALL! lol
My experiences are extreme, I know, but it has definitely had an impact on how I feel about spankings. I know many won't agree, but I just don't think scaring or causing physical pain does anything to teach a child how to handle their emotions and actions. I honestly would rather see a toddler who talks back or gets sassy than one who sits quietly at the dinner table too scared to move out of line. Maturity should take a while. Learning respect and discipline should take time. It's easy to make a little robot that acts right (see the Pearl's method) but it takes a lot longer to raise an independent kid that will be good without the fear of punishment.