2nd baby... shower?

baby2fochler

We are pregnant with our second baby and just wondering what people thoughts are about having a shower for the second baby? My mother says that you don't have a second shower and we really don't need anything besides diapers I just think that a shower is a way to celebrate another phase of life and another baby...

janda426

baby2fochler said:

We are pregnant with our second baby and just wondering what people thoughts are about having a shower for the second baby? My mother says that you don't have a second shower and we really don't need anything besides diapers I just think that a shower is a way to celebrate another phase of life and another baby...

Your mom is correct. People buying you shit is not celebrating a new life. Throw a party once the kid is born if you want to celebrate new life, you know so they can at least be there at "their" party...

Helenahhandbasket

Listen to your mom.

jennypolkadots

Well, you don't throw the shower anyways so I guess it depends if someone else offers to throw one for you. I would say thank you but decline and offer if they wanted to host a sip and see 2 weeks after the birth that would be really lovely. I doubt anyone will offer though considering its your second and you still have all of your baby stuff. Although showers are about "celebrating the baby" we all know they are really just gift grabs and it would be odd to show up empty handed.

mandi195

agreed with PP's

JCWhitey

We have a party for every mom-to-be in my family regardless of if it's first or fifth pregnancies.  We call them showers but they aren't really showers- there are no gifts or anything.  Just another excuse to get together and have a BBQ/party and play board games and swap any hand me downs that need to be swapped.  We also do something after the baby is born.  And for most major holidays.  And of course the Random Tuesday BBQ... so really it's just an excuse to have a party.  If that's what you want I say let whoever wants to host it host it.  Just don't expect/ask/imply gifts.

taahira

No I agree with your Mom. A party after to meet the new addition. Nothing before.

tiffany1884

If its a different gender then yes have another one..but if not i wouldn't have another one

becnicole0210

I am pregnant with my second child and I have decided not to have a baby shower as I already have almost everything still from baby #1. I am going to have a welcome baby party instead after the baby is here maybe 3 weeks after my baby is born. And if people want to bring my baby gifts they would be appreciated greatly but we are not asking any one to definitely bring stuff.

tiffany1884

@idani...really..second baby and its a different gender why wouldnt you have a shower im pretty sure if you have a girl now and your having a boy you dont have anything for a boy. If its another girl then no i wouldnt have a second shower..thats what most people do they have another shower because they are having a different gender baby.

Empireceo

tiffany1884 said:

@idani...really..second baby and its a different gender why wouldnt you have a shower im pretty sure if you have a girl now and your having a boy you dont have anything for a boy. If its another girl then no i wouldnt have a second shower..thats what most people do they have another shower because they are having a different gender baby.

Dude, no. Babies all need the same shit. If you bought a pink stroller and have to push your boy around in it, them's the breaks. Or go to a buy/sell/trade group and swap. You know some people actually have children without finding out the sex first, right? Your logic is ridiculous

tiffany1884

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and thoughts...this is my first...i have seen and been to second baby showers so thats where i was coming from..so please keep your name calling to yourself @idani that was not cool...we are all having a discussion..and everybody is different and do things how they wanna do it.

tiffany1884

As i said everyone is entitled to their opinions on these forums..its not up to you or anyone to bash someone because of their opinion. As i said i have been to 2nd showers...im having my first baby. So as i said before my comment is from me experiencing 2nd baby showers of people that i know. Nobody has the right to tell me and bash me on an opinion. Dont get it twisted im way above that level..im going to say it again MY COMMENT CAME FROM GOING TO 2ND BABY SHOWERS PEOPLE I KNOW..I NEVER SAID THAT I WOULD DO THAT PERSONALLY. So before you bash and start name calling get your facts straight first THANKS!!!

ordinary1

Showers are for first time moms. If you truly want to celebrate your baby, wait until the baby can actually be there.

janda426

Umm no one called you names lady @tiffany1884‌

ghostof5letters

tiffany1884 said:

If its a different gender then yes have another one..but if not i wouldn't have another one

Empireceo

"Everyone is entitled to their opinion" does not mean "I can ignore facts as I see fit and call that my opinion."

crunchymamaof2

@tiffany1884 if all your friends jumped off a bridge does that mean you would too?

jennypolkadots

Ugh where this post headed makes me ragey. We aren't finding out the sex of our baby and I constantly get idiots asking me how we will prepare. WHAT THE HELL?! I am very type A and such a preparer - and we have always planned to personally buy everything we need for a baby and if someone wants to provide a gift, they can get something they like for us. Boys and girls need the same things. I would never put an infant (who has no gender identity) in a tutu or whatever, and I have no interest in having my house look like a blue or pink crayon threw up on it. We want more than one child and I am so glad we will be able to reuse things. Also 20 week U/S have a +5% chance of being wrong, so it really does happen and you may be bringing home a boy to that pink bedroom.

Just sayin'. Sorry, rant over. 

Basically everyone agrees that a party can not celebrate someone who is not aware of their own attendance. Showers are for the mother, the first time mother. I have also been invited to second baby showers, or for people who had kids spaced apart, and other stupid reasons like new marriage, etc... and always roll my eyes and bring a really cheap gift. From my experience, second (or third) showers are almost always thrown by the pregnant person or their mom which is another faux pas all together.

Maebb

tiffany1884 said:

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and thoughts...this is my first...i have seen and been to second baby showers so thats where i was coming from..so please keep your name calling to yourself @idani that was not cool...we are all having a discussion..and everybody is different and do things how they wanna do it.

@tiffany1884‌, you certainly are entitled to your opinion. But - what if I decided that something widely accepted as etiquette is not rude? I'm trying to think of an example - RSVPing to a wedding. Plenty of people don't RSVP, but proper etiquette (the customary code of polite behavior) says that it's rude. Maybe in your circle of friends or wherever you live, it is not seen as rude, but in general, widespread etiquette, it is rude.

ordinary1

If someone wants to give you a gift, they don't need a shower to do so. My friend is a FTM. She isn't having a shower. I have a couple things I want to give her for a present. I know this is shocking, but I'm just going to give her the gift.

SuperFudge00

First I'm going to say that this thread has been beaten to death. Please use the search button.

Second, I don't agree with most posters that a baby shower is about motherhood. Otherwise it would be a motherhood shower.

Third, do what works with your friends and family. Since it is my experience that every baby gets celebrated, listening to the internet doesn't work for me.

crunchymamaof2

kristieandjason2010 said:

First I'm going to say that this thread has been beaten to death. Please use the search button. Second, I don't agree with most posters that a baby shower is about motherhood. Otherwise it would be a motherhood shower. Third, do what works with your friends and family. Since it is my experience that every baby gets celebrated, listening to the internet doesn't work for me.

That doesn't change the facts. And great advice, ignore the impartial strangers who have no reason to lie versus the people closest to you who will likely go along with whatever you want. Makes a lot of sense.

kcbizme

Oh. Em. Gee.

Let's beat a /ded horse why don't we?

%opinion. 2nd showers are gift-grabby and attention-whorey. Andplusalso, why are YOU worried about having a 2nd shower? You shouldn't be throwing it to begin with!

Amstreagle

Ladymouse

I plan on throwing a dinner party (or barbecue if I'm too exhausted), like we throw a few times a year anyway, only with about twice the invitees (DH's friends and mine instead of one group or the other.)  To say hey, I still love you, but I'm gonna be a hermit for a while.  We'll probably use Arbor Day as our flimsy excuse.   

Calling it a shower or sprinkle or "baby #2 party" implies that gifts are expected.

pookiesprize

Well im going to have a second shower I know to everyone that's not proper but my son is 14 and my family wants to give me one and I am very happy for the much needed help.

PrimRoseMama

pookiesprize said:

Well im going to have a second shower I know to everyone that's not proper but my son is 14 and my family wants to give me one and I am very happy for the much needed help.

Pookie, you do not sound like a prize.

It is not anyone else's problem that your kids are 15 years apart. Your family is being generous, but you don't have to have a shower...

pookiesprize

I wasn't trying to sound like a prize and I know it's mine and my husband's responsibility,but my child is a blessing.Everyone is happy that we were able to have a child together after so long so I am more than happy and grateful for my second shower. No need to be nasty @PrimRoseMama‌ and @Bliss+Berry‌

PrimRoseMama

What? No one was nasty. Just stating facts. It's only right that you are grateful for a shower. That is appropriate...

pookiesprize

I said she was nasty cause she says I wasn't a prize I think I am a prize ladies lol. It's the internet no hard feelings everyone is entitled to an opinion I don't know you guys personally.

PrimRoseMama

pookiesprize said:

I said she was nasty cause she says I wasn't a prize I think I am a prize ladies lol. It's the internet no hard feelings everyone is entitled to an opinion I don't know you guys personally.

Just because it's an opinion doesn't mean it's ok to have or exempt from being wrong.

I don't consider someone gift-grabbing to be a prize. Just saying. I don't have to know you personally to judge.