June 2014 Moms
b48kate
member
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Mommy Guilt
b48kate
member
I hear it in so many of our posts and see it among so many of my friends!
Let's talk it out...what is the source of your "mommy guilt" and/or how can we get rid of it?
Let's talk it out...what is the source of your "mommy guilt" and/or how can we get rid of it?
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Re: Mommy Guilt
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I feel guilty that I actually want to go back to work. I worked very hard to become a nurse, gave up a high-paying job to go to nursing school, and consider it my life's "calling". Yes, cheesy. I am also pursuing an advanced degree and if my LO didn't go to daycare 3 days a week that would not be possible. I feel guilty when people talk about crying all day or for multiple days after dropping their LO off at daycare...because I'm not sure I'll do the same.
See! If I had only breastfed I'd be bonded enough to cry at daycare! Just can't win...
Now I feel guilty because she cannot have her own bedroom, we live in a two bedroom apartment and my step kids stay the weekends on the second room. I wish we could buy a house so she could have her own space, I was kind of jelly looking at your beautiful nurseries and wish I could have done that for her.
I have to add in wife guilt as well bc I feel like I'm such a bitch to DH and have no desire for sex.
The conflicting emotions kill me.
I also have guilt about working. I hate being away from her and feel that I should be home.
Watch, on Nov 3rd (LOs first day in daycare) I'll probably have to come back in here and talk all about how I bawled like a baby. Then I'll feel guilty for ever saying that I wasn't gonna cry. Damn you guilt spiral!
Your child will bond with you however you feed them, it's about interacting with them and holding them and looking into their eyes, not what kind of nipple is in their mouth or what kind of milk is coming out of that nipple. They will remember the quality of the time you spend with them, and if that quality is great, they won't pay attention to the quantity. They won't remember that you couldn't stay pregnant longer, they won't remember mom getting angry a few times because they were loud, or they will but they'll get old enough to understand.
Parenting is hard. Being a mom is hard and these days comes with a lot of societal pressure in totally conflicting directions. As long as you are making choices in the best interest of your child, your health, and your family, you are doing an awesome job.
Married DH 7/30/11
CSC arrived 5/7/12
CHC arrived 6/2/14
Mommy guilt about going back to work is a given
I also feel guilty leaving C at daycare. At the same time I feel guilty because I enjoy my time at work.
I also feel guilty for putting her down during the day so I can get stuff done but I remind myself that I'm interacting with her 99% of the day & maybe she needs a break sometimes.
This is exactly what I have the most guilt about. I feel like I did something wrong to make her come do soon, and if she hadn't been do early she would not have had to stay in the NICU. @diagonalley, I'm worried about having another too because of this.
I feel guilty over my body not being able to push a baby out (pelvis is too small) and having to have a c-section. I know I'll never get to experience a vaginal birth and it's sad. At the same time I feel guilty because even though I had a C-section my recovery was so easy I feel like I cheated or something.
I have guilt over not being able to breastfeed. Even though I know it was for the best because I wasn't producing enough I still feel guilt that my body didn't work right.
I feel guilty that since DH works nights LO prefers me at night because I'm who he is used to. It makes me sad when the baby is fussy with his Dad even though he is a wonderful father and is trying, he just doesn't do things like I do and with his schedule LO isn't getting to consistently experience his dad's version of a night time routine/play/interaction.
I also feel guilt over my poor dog. I feel like I'm neglecting Tank even though he is so wonderful with the baby I feel like I'm constantly saying No Tank.
At least I don't feel guilt about returning to work. If I think about it I probably feel guilty because I don't feel guilty about this.
Mommy hormones suck.
Also, @saltypearl you are amazing and wonderful and make most of us look pathetic in comparison.
BFP: February 2016 EDD: October 17, 2016
BFP: February 2016 EDD: October 17, 2016
I have so much guilt about so many things...
That after an induction and many interventions that I didn't want/plan to have, I ended up with a c section. I feel like there must have been more I could have done/not done during the labor process to prevent this. I wish I could go back and do it again. All I can think of is what I am going to do with my next baby, but it is discouraging because VBACs are not allowed at any of the hospitals around here and I will likely need to travel 1-2 hours to a major hospital in Boston if I want to try for one.
That I am back at work and don't get enough time with him in the evenings. By the time I am home there are only a few hours left before he goes to sleep for the night. He also cries when I leave in the morning which makes me feel horrible and I often cry on the way to work.
That my dog also feels neglected. He was my baby before LO was born and now I feel like I have no time for him and he acts so depressed. He is great around LO but hides under the bed for most of the day and won't come out - it makes me feel awful.