~~~ttcal newbie check-in (tuesday, april 15)~~~

meladoriestar

I know I'm posting this a few hours early but I've got a busy day at work tomorrow. If I don't respond immediately, don't worry, I will respond by evening.

Welcome to TTC After Loss. I'm so sorry for your loss but am happy you have found us. ((hugs)) This board is full of brilliant and kind women who have experienced the hardship of losing that which is most precious, and I hope you find great comfort and support here in your journey!

For those of you so new that you don't know the routine, this is a check-in for newer members of the TTCAL Board. Please feel free to use this space to ask those "newbie" questions that feel intimidating to ask on the main board and I will try my best to get you an answer.

**Please don't feel that you have to provide individual feedback to all of the posters ahead of you. Many do and it's great, but it's most definitely not required to be a part of this check-in. I'd just hate to think people might feel intimidated and not post because of this. All posts and responses are welcomed!

Please take the time to read the TTCAL blog to answer any questions you may have regarding our board etiquette, TTC, miscarriage & loss, and much more: https://ttcalblog.wordpress.com/ If you are a check-in regular and get a BFP, please PM me so that I can add it to the weekly check-in with a warning for other members.

Finally, if you haven't done so, please post your introduction on the main board including your story.

Weekly Update:  How are you doing?  Post an update including any news, thoughts, or questions - let me know how things are going for you! If you don't see your name, it's only because you didn't check in last week.

meredithcarole: Any sign of AF yet? I hope this last week wasn’t quite so hard.

MoreThanSparrows08: It looks like those CHs did get moved like you expected. Looks like you had good timing. Saw that temp dip but I’m hoping it goes back up in the morning. FX!

squeakyfrog15: How is temping going? Your chart is looking good!

jcar2: Looks like you’ve been pretty consistent with temping! Any word on where your betas are at?

meganwelch: How’s your body adjusting to not having the steroids? Has this week been any easier? Hopefully your vacation is going well!

kj808: I saw AF came. I’m sorry. ((hugs)). How are you holding up?

qanda2013: How are you feeling? Hopefully AF is long gone and you’re recovering from your stressful week last week.

aubrygarfield: How are you doing this week?

buttercup02: How’s this past week been treating you?

chicagojackie: Did AF ever show up? I see you’re still here on TTCAL so I’m guessing it was a bfn? ((hugs))

AggieBeth06: How’s everything going? You feeling any better this week? I saw you got AF this week. ((hugs))

MelissaL121: Did you ever open your BBT? Any sign of AF? Did you end up following up with your doctor?

seaotter910: Did you get your draw this week? Are levels at zero?

stephy1221: Has this week been any easier than last week?

Buttercup509: How’s it going? Is your niece feeling better?

kaynix21: Are you feeling any less stressed about things getting pushed back? When is the FSH/timed intercourse planned for this month? How was the ultrasound?

akleng: Any sign of AF yet? When’s the next appointment?

yellowcat10: Have the dreams let up yet?

polevaultRN: Have you had any luck with the OPKs yet?

LauraO11: Have you had a chance to follow up with your doctor? How are you doing?

Question of the Week: What is your favorite spring break memory?

loveinkw13

Hi! I've been lurking/around for about 2 months now. I always mean to comment on this thread, get distracted and forget. Sorry!! MH and I have been TTC since June 2013. We had our first BFP end in a chemical pregnancy in Feb 2013. We decided not to wait to see someone so we have our first appointment with a RE today! I'm very hopeful and anxious. I'm on CD23/6DPO but my temps were all over the place this cycle for no apparent reason. I just wanted to say hi and intro myself on this thread!

AggieBeth06

Hi Mel! Hope your day at work goes well and without too much stress. Thank you for running the checkin!

I am feeling quite a bit better this week. AF is worse than ever. I woke up this morning and had to shower immediately... So much blood. It has slowed down, but it really freaked me out. Still glad to get this one behind me. In all I feel a tinge of sad but moreso hopeful because I was so ready to move on physically. This just means in closer to that.

I have an appointment tomorrow with a person who has practiced a particular type of massage therapy and healing for a long time. I am going to her because she has been recommended as someone who has successfully helped other women with retroflexed uteri. She's certified in this type of massage and is a NP but I don't think it's covered by insurance... I don't really care though because I feel like I have to give it a shot. It's one thing to exhaust before we can make a decision on TTC again. We also need to meet with another OBGYN and possibly a RE.

MoreThanSparrows08

Good morning @meladoriestar! How are you today? Hopefully work isn't too crazy today.

Yes, FF moved my cross hairs, and I'm pretty hopeful about this cycle.  I realize it's our first cycle to try after our loss, and it very well may not happen this cycle, but I'm still pretty positive.  I was a bit concerned about that temp drop yesterday, but it seems to have come back up today, so I'm crossing my fingers that it was an implantation dip

I had to skip work yesterday entirely - I took my mom to a dentist in a nearby city for an evaluation of her teeth (they all need to be removed, so we were seeing if the dental school would do it any cheaper than her regular dentist).  She had woken up Sunday with another abcessed tooth, and they decided then and there to take out the abcessed tooth and the three next to it... I have to take her back tomorrow afternoon, and I'm off Friday, so I've got my work cut out for me this week... UGH...

ETA: QOTW: I went to the beach with my best friend and her older sisters one year in high school.  We had a blast! We were underage, but her sisters were buying wine coolers and letting us drink them... lol 

MoreThanSparrows08

@loveinkw13 I'm so sorry for your loss, but welcome to the check-in.  Good luck with your RE today!

@VesperLynch I'm so sorry about the staph infection - glad it seems to be headed out the door!

@AggieBeth06 Boo on AF being stupid! ((hugs)) That first AF post loss is so bittersweet.  Hopefully the massage therapist can work some magic

squeakyfrog15

Hey @meladoriestar‌ thanks for the check in!! I hope your week has been good!!

I'm doing okay! I'm trying to keep my brain from going crazy! I'm having similar symptoms from the last time I was you know! My temps have been up, but not as high as I would like. Normally if it's a good month they are in the 98's....but as Lon as their up right? I had a drop today, but I think my mouth was open! I guess I'll know more tomorrow!

longcat07

@meladoriestar - i hope your busy day is the good kind.  i've found they're either hellacious and you're exhausted and ready to tear your hair out by the end, OR it just makes the day fly by and before you know it, you're relaxing at home again.

@loveinkw13 - good luck at the RE today!

@VesperLynch - staph.    glad you're feeling better.

@aggiebeth06 - i hope you have luck with the massage.  it sounds like it'll at least feel nice.

@MoreThanSparrows08 - your poor mother!  i hate going to the dentist.  i can't imagine needing all of them removed.  *FX* for you this cycle...it looks hopeful!

@squeakyfrog15 - i know what you mean about liking your temps to be above a certain level.  i'm the same...i like to see them over 98 as well.  you're right though, as long as they're up, that's all that matters.  GL!

AFM - hi all, this is my first check-in.  we're not actually TTC again yet as our loss just happened last week.  i'm having a hard time thinking about preventing though.  i suppose we'll see what happens when we actually get there.  right now i'm focusing on trying to get outside every day (even though it's gotten cold again this week, boo) and drinking red raspberry leaf tea and all that for mental and physical health.  planning gardens (we just bought this house last summer...there's literally nothing in the ground besides grass and a great big linden tree), working on some home repair/improvement projects as the house handywoman.  just getting back to normal after having our hopes dashed.

edit to add: i had called my doctor yesterday to clarify some things because the only info i had was a vague note tacked on to my last test results online last friday, and he said they usually advise waiting a cycle for dating and to recover from the shock of the loss, but that ultimately it's up to us, and that i'm clear for intimacy once the bleeding stops.  like i said, we're not going to try for real this cycle, but i don't think preventing is in the cards because it breaks my heart just to think about it.  the bleeding actually stopped on sunday but i'm giving it a few days more just to make sure.  we're probably going to NTNP this cycle.

aubrygarfield

@AggieBeth06 Good luck with your appointment tomorrow! Fx It helps a ton!

@loveinkw13 Welcome, So sorry for you loss

@longcat07 Welcome to the Check-in. DH and I just bought our house last summer as well. We are stuck with the opposite problem, tons of plants trees and half a yard of no grass! It's gonna be a summer of chainsaws and fertilizer for us! GL on yours!

@qanda2014 So sorry for yesterday. Fx today is much much much better and there will be NO mail! 

Good Morning! I am feeling hopeful and positive. Must be the sun here in UT. Just finished my First AF after loss. It's crazy, I always said my cycles were not predictable or consistent but I could definitely tell this one was extremely different. The emotions, the length, the pains, everything was nothing I've ever experienced with AF. 

Still learning how to temp and write in FF about all those other things, I'm hoping this cycle will start a pattern and teach me some things about myself.

Km380

Hi, I'm still new so thought Id check in here. Ive been having a rough few days since AF showed up. Hopefully the week gets better from here.

My favorite spring break was in college, my mom and I went to Florida for the week and visited my grandparents and then went to Disney World for a few days. At the time I didn't think much of it but now years later I think it was my fav.

purplehaze11

Thank you for the check in @meladoriestar‌ Yesterday was a rough day, I got faint at work (my first day back) and spent the afternoon/evening between the bed and the toilet. I couldn't keep anything in. Stayed home this morning to try and get my body under control. Although, I almost feel a bit cleansed if that makes any sense. I'm impatiently waiting for these cramps and bleeding to go away so I can focus on getting active and healthy, and supporting my body to heal. I was able to make a follow up appt with the OB on May 22, so I will get my answers about TTCAL then. He's very old school, so I have a feeling he will say wait much longer than I would like As for spring break, it's still snow out there for us now! But I love going south, and escaping the darn winter for a little bit DH and I went to the DR this year, bittersweet now since I know I had already m/c looking back on the pics

squeakyfrog15

Hey ladies, thinking about each of you this week! GL and (HUGS) to all who need them! 

Totally missed the QOTW!!

I never really got to do much for spring break, my family never went anywhere, we couldn't afford it!

One year as a freshmen in high school I went to NYC on a mission trip! It was a really cool experience! Then as a freshman in college I went to Texas to see my best friend right after they moved there!!

Have a great week ladies!

longcat07

i completely miss the QOTW.  NARF.  soon i'll be known as the airhead on the board (if not already).

spring break was never a "thing" for me, but i did go to london with my mom and sister and a couple of my aunts when i was a freshman in college.  it was a sort of late graduation gift i guess.  we had a blast doing all the touristy stuff, and the only downside was that i'd just started dating LH a little over a month before and we were pretty disgustingly codependent back then, so i missed him a lot.  lol

longcat07

@quanda2013 - i hope your post D&C cycle counts.  (((hugs)))  i'm having one of those days today...yesterday had positive moments but today i feel like eeyore with fits of intense anger mixed in.  grief sucks.

@aubrygarfield - i'm so glad someone is feeling positive!  i have my moments but they don't last terribly long, lol.  temping has a little bit if a learning curve but i'm sure you'll get it in no time. 

@Km380 - i'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time. hopefully things start to look up when AF goes away.

@LauraO11 - that sounds awful.    i hope your OB surprises you and you don't have to wait much longer.

@jcar2 - i hope your betas are done coming down this week and there are no more needle pokes after this.  i hear you on the pregnant people thing.  my BFF keeps wanting to talk to me about her morning sickness, even after i tell her nicely that i'm not the best person to be telling these things to right now.  she had a teeny bit of spotting the other day and said to me today that she was so afraid that she was going to lose the baby and she isn't sure she'd want to do "all this" again (referring to feeling sick).  i wanted to slap her.  (((hugs)))  she backpedaled on that one when i pointed out that it's only temporary and she gets a baby at the end, but then kept going on to complain about how she can't get anything done and yadda yadda.  so i'm just ignoring her now.  (i can do that...she lives a couple hours away so this was over facebook chat.  i wish you could ignore your coworker.  )

longcat07

VesperLynch said:

Here is a newbie question that just came to mind--is it ok/customary to post here as well as on the October EDD check-in? -- Thanks in advance :-)

i was wondering this too, since i noticed there's a december EDD check-in.

longcat07

also, what is the significance of the little humping lizard guy "humphrey" i saw on the blog?  lol, he's kind of goofy and cute.

edit: thanks for your help and patience!

polevaultRN

***siggy warning***

@meladoriestar Thanks again for picking up this check in! I hope work wasn't too tough on you today.

@loveinkw13 Welcome! Sorry for your loss. I hope your appointment went well.

@VesperLynch Hope you fully recover from that staph infection soon!

@AggieBeth06 I'm sorry AF is kickin' your butt. I hope you have a great appointment tomorrow!

@morethansparrows08 I hope this is your cycle, too! So sorry to hear about your mom. I'm praying for her!

@squeakyfrog15 ((Hugs)) for you.

@longcat07 welcome! I'm sorry for your loss. It seems like you have lots of stuff around the house to keep you and your mind busy. That's great. Just take it one day at a time. ((Hugs))

@qanda2013 I'm sorry you're having a rough time lately ((Hugs)). I hope the call with your OB goes well.

@aubrygarfield I'm glad you are feeling hopeful and positive! Enjoy that sunny weather.

@Km380 Welcome! I hope the week gets better for you, too. ((Hugs))

@LauraO11 I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. I hope things start getting better for you soon. ((Hugs))

@jcar2 I really hope your betas hit negative soon! The wait sucks! And I know whatcha mean about the pregnant coworker. I had my m/c and then a week later one of my close coworkers announced her pregnancy and it's been difficult for me lately. ((Hugs))

Still haven't had a +OPK. Today is CD20. Oh well. Just doing EOD to cover our bases until the next AF (or a BFP) arrives!

QOTW: I went to Rosarito with a few of my college track and field teammates several years ago and had a blast! A little too much to drink though :P

ETA: words

AggieBeth06

@loveinkw13‌ - glad you posted! Welcome to the check in and I hope your RE is helpful!

@VesperLynch‌ - hope the staph on infection hits the road! It sounds like quite a journey for you!

@MoreThanSparrows08‌ - FX for you this cycle, friend! It sounds like (if you prescribe to the drink till it's pink camp) you ought to go for a wine cooler in honor of fun times this week. Prayers for your mom and for your role supporting her.

@squeakyfrog15‌ - fx for your temps!

@longcat07‌ - gl on the intimacy and all of your house projects! What kind of gardens are you planning?

@qanda2013‌ - sweet dear! I'm so sorry yesterday was rough and DH said something boneheaded. (((Hugs))) I also totally get your comment about medical bills. I was blindsided with one today... And since we moved at the end of the year some bills just made their way to me from a procedure with my back from last fall. Add my pre-loss stay into the mix.... And ouch. I'm not sure what hurt worse though... The total I need to pay or seeing "missed abortion" on the paperwork. Sickening. Why couldn't they use "unwanted loss removal" or something different? I hope you have a better week! Maybe you could treat yourself with something?

@aubrygarfield‌ - gl with temping!

@Km380‌ - welcome! I LOVE Disney and I bet the time with your family was precious.

@LauraO11‌ - glad you were able to make an appointment and FX that you don't have to be benched for long!

@jcar2‌ -I hope your betas hit the mark so you can stop the human pincushion effect. Also I totally get the feeling of struggling with pregnancies around you, even if you're happy for the person. It's such a mixed bag!

@polevaultRN‌ - GL on the OPKs but it sounds like you're making a good decision with EOD. I've been meaning to tell you that your SN makes me smile. My cousin is a junior in HS and training on pole vault. She would love to go collegiate but might not quite make it. She loves it though!

I totally forgot the QOTW! My favorite spring break was the SB before I met DH. I went with my brother and (now) SIL with all their friends down to the Texas coast. We drank our asses off and it's a good thing we all ended up alive. We got stranded in a bay inlet during low tide, were rescued by a air boat, nearly capsized on another boat the next day and SIL/I have matching scars on our butts from falling onto an oyster reef when trying to wee off the side of the boat. It wasn't one of my prouder moments, but we caught a ton of fish and had a awesome time.

tfno2

***loss mentioned*** 

Hi ladies. I'm checking in for the first time here. Today was my first day back at work since we mc (my one win). It was good and bad - good to get my mind off of it, bad that the few people that knew all stopped by and I had mini breakdowns. It didn't help that when I came home I had that awful mc feeling happen to me again. I had something large pass, but no clue what it was since my sono on Friday showed fluid and clots. It just made me re-live Thursday night. Luckily DH came home soon after the whole thing and took over cooking duties.

Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.

meredithcarole

Hello ladies! Wow, you all have been very chatty today, I spent 30 minutes reading through the comments (and now can't remember exactly who said what) As for me, it has been a bit of a roller coaster this week. ***some kind of sensitive material follows*** On Wednesday my Golden Retriever brought me a live kitten that was probably about 5 days old. It still had the umbilical cord attached and that alone almost put me over the edge. I spent about 10 hours hoping the momma cat would reclaim him, but she moved the siblings (the nest was under my hedge in the back yard) and left him behind. I was a total mess by the time DH got home from work and after talking about it he agreed we couldn't simply leave it out in the wild. We brought the kitten in and went to Walmart to get a heating pad, small animal baby bottle and kitten formula (who knew they even made that?). I got up every couple of hours to feed him and at one point caught myself rocking him when he was being really talkative. We had networked that evening to try and find a foster mom for him as I knew we could not bottle feed a cat for the next 6 weeks. The next day my husband took it to work with him since he was able to and one of his coworkers found a vet clinic who had a tech willing to take him. Before the morning was up he was taken to his new home. I struggled with it all day since I didn't think we would find him a home that quickly and I didn't get a change to say "goodbye," but I knew it was a better arrangement. I called the next morning to check on him and found out that he had passed away early in the morning. Needless to say that was a really upsetting piece of news for me. I spent the entire morning crying for both the kitten and myself. It really brought the feelings of helplessness and failure from the m/c flooding back. I had to work, so I had to pull myself together that afternoon, but it was definitely a bad day. I am feeling better about it now. He did receive as much love and care as we could have given him and he died in a comfy bed where he was warm rather than alone in the cold, but it was really rough. AF showed up on Saturday morning without any sort of preamble (I have typically spotted before my period so I was caught completely unprepared). This cycle has alternated between a medium to heavy flow and very light. I am curious to see how long it lasts. BTW, had anyone experienced somewhat odd "cramps" post m/c? Like occasional sharp pain in a particular location rather than overall cramps? I am mildly concerned. Anyway, I have decided to wait one more cycle before we stop using protection as I think I need a little more time to heal. I am hoping this week will be more "normal." It is spring break at Disney so I know I will at least be preoccupied by my 60 hour work week. @meladoriestar‌ I hope you are relaxing after your busy day. In regard to the QOTW: we took a spring break trip to Cabo San Lucas my senior year of high school or possibly my freshman year of college. It was a very nice trip. I got a massage, rode horseback on the beach, went on a booze cruise, and enjoyed the Cabo Wabo. All good spring break activities!

AggieBeth06

meladoriestar said:

AggieBeth06 said:

Hi Mel! Hope your day at work goes well and without too much stress. Thank you for running the checkin!

I am feeling quite a bit better this week. AF is worse than ever. I woke up this morning and had to shower immediately... So much blood. It has slowed down, but it really freaked me out. Still glad to get this one behind me. In all I feel a tinge of sad but moreso hopeful because I was so ready to move on physically. This just means in closer to that.

I have an appointment tomorrow with a person who has practiced a particular type of massage therapy and healing for a long time. I am going to her because she has been recommended as someone who has successfully helped other women with retroflexed uteri. She's certified in this type of massage and is a NP but I don't think it's covered by insurance... I don't really care though because I feel like I have to give it a shot. It's one thing to exhaust before we can make a decision on TTC again. We also need to meet with another OBGYN and possibly a RE.

Wow that's crazy! I hope that AF cuts back a little bit. ((hugs)) How does the massage therapy woman help with your uterus? I'm confused on that but it sounds like it might be emotionally healing at the very least. Are you looking for a new OB? Reading your history and diagnoses an RE sounds like a good idea as well.

Hi!!

The NP I'm seeing tomorrow uses alternative medicine such as Mayan massage (certified in Arvigo Techniques in Mayan Abdominal Therapy). I side-eyed this a lot... But I have asked both my PCP and OB and they offer no support for my condition. They basically say I have to live with the symptoms or have a hysterectomy (no way). I have checked on this practitioner and she has practiced ATMAT for over 30 years locally and has experience with my condition.

I started considering going to her more seriously when I talked to my physical therapist about my issues (was going to one for my back - she specializes in rehab for women). She wasn't acutely aware but thought that the theories aren't bogus on the surface. Basically the practitioner does a deep massage therapy on the abdomen (externally) to reposition the uterus. Then we work on certain pelvic floor type exercises to maintain the position.

I also was referred to the person after I had discussed my issues with a trainer who specializes in "restorative exercise" - they focus on changing your alignment of your body to a more natural state.

This all sounds very hippy/eastern medicine and TBH I'm skeptical but I feel like I have to try it. If it's not invasive, I don't know that I have much to lose. Of course I'll be asking lots of questions and researching on my own throughout the way.

I don't side eye it as much as before because I figure if this NP was a charlatan, she would likely have been shut down in 30 years. Maybe I'm wrong.

ETA: she's not a NP, she's an RN, DN and has been certified in the visceral massage that my PT was familiar with.

Sorry for the novel...

I have an appointment with another OB who has high risk experience. I would like to talk with an RE and an MFM but I'm not sure how the referral process works. My current OB said she wouldn't refer me because it's "only be one loss" and that my HELLP syndrome was a fluke. Not too comforting or helpful IMO.

AggieBeth06

@meladoriestar‌ - she might still be a charlatan but I am comfortable with the risk after a lot of research and thought. I believe in science based medicine, but sometimes there aren't answers and you have to take things into your own hands when you can possibly benefit from calculated risk.

Not sure if you saw my update - she's not a NP... But is a RN and DN. She is also certified in the visceral manipulations that my PT was familiar with (and has been shown scientifically to work). ATMAT is similar to that technique.

I believe my insurance requires referrals, but I will ask. I know some local specialists require them.

Guess only time will tell on all of this.

chicagojackie

Thanks for the check-in....still waiting for AF, I know this is a wonky cycle and I'm not KTFU so I'm just waiting around....